Yeah, he smelled desperate, no wonder she was turned off. The essential of seduction, like communication itself, is mostly non-verbal. You're supposed to talk about whatever while showing your interest. He didn't even elude with some subtle that he wanted her, he just blurted it out, so on top of being creepy, he came off as somewhat childish.
On top of that, admitting that he throughly cleaned his place expecting company could be taken as him having to make an extra effort to have a clean place, that it's not normal for him, like those dudes she saw the filthy places. He places himself on their side on his own, when actually some dudes don't even bother to make an effort.
At least he's great on a date itself. Just need to stop acting like a virgin that never talked to a woman when it's time to close the deal. I think this gal initially wanted to continue the date somewhere else outside, or if she was only posturing, she needed at least some time to get back on their good vibes before sex came back in the convo. He did the opposite by being so giddy about his pre-hookup cleaning lol so she was done with this second strike.