i don't think i can keep going, reading this has become actively draining because of how shit the story is
page 4 - "very beautiful gardens", makes sense
page 10 - something like "get to business" or "start working", makes no sense in context
page 13 - "surprisingly beautiful", makes sense I guess
page 15 - nonsense, I can only presume the intented phrase is "очень хорошо", meaning "very good"
page 16 - "wonderful/excellent/amazing" all work, no notes
page 17 - "[he is] tasty", another male gendered word instead of the proper neutral subjectless "вкусно"
page 22 - "do not do that", sounds a little stilted in this informal context
page 23 - no notes
now can the boat please sink with no survivors