Hana ni Arashi - Vol. 4 Ch. 48 - Her Side of the Story

[Fossilizednara]

How can all of you people be so mean to this poor girl.

You say “she should have been honest. She should have been honest” while at the same time overlooking the fact that the two main characters are still keeping their love between each other secret for the sole purpose of how others would react. So far as to even lie when asked by anyone else.

This girl may have been misguided and said something that she believed to be the case at the time denying her true feelings and hurting Chidori in the process. But less then a year and she realized how wrong she was. Getting Chidori a gift for Valentine’s Day and then even coming to see her because of her feelings she couldn’t lie to herself about anymore.

How fucking dare you people judge her for that. She didn’t hurt Chidori out of spite or hate and she clearly regrets it. No one is perfect. No one makes all the right choices at all the right times. Sometimes you hurt others in the process of finding your true self.

She didn’t mean to hurt Chidori. It was just as much a lie to herself, and she felt all the same pain from the separation.

I just wow... how dare you people look at the poor girls mistake and identity crisis and make it out that she’s automatically a bad person all around and deserved this pain. :,(

 

[JustCallMeDaBoss]

Sigh welp we all have our demons, i did kind of get this feeling from her she truly isnt some horrible person just a poor girl lost and afraid of opening up ....

Yes what she did was wrong dragging Chidori down cuz she couldn't come to terms with what she wanted but still i sympathize with her she herself seems to be under a lot of stress, self-doubt and scared of peer pressure truly everyone saying "shes just too stupid only needed to be honest" look back on yourself and remember all those times you've done exactly the same as her fuck up under societal expectations, peer pressure, or self-doubt ? Yeah thats what i thought we all suck we're human after all some people can handle it more then others but we all have our problems.

And this is Japan a country that still views this type of stuff in a bad light, still no gay marriage there so yeah she has even more pressure there.

Still again doing Chidori dirty like that without telling her the whole truth was a real scumbag move maybe if she'd told Chidori, Chidori would have become a pillar of support for her and she'd have been able to accept herself but alas there are no ifs in this world and most importantly sadly this is not your story Igarashi Senpai but if you happen to exist out there in a parallel world in the multiverse i wish you luck.

I want to believe the Valentine chocolate and her visit were real attempts to right her wrongs but who really knows what was going on her last line kind of makes it seem that it could be either or but those tears tell me she wanted to earn Chidoris forgiveness and love, but alas it was not meant to be.

@Fossilizednara i finished writing my message and was pretty satisfied with my answer but thought that my view would be a minority and then i see yours lol we have some similar views here im glad people can look at this objectively, i do get that we're reading the story from Nanoha and Chidori's POV but Igarashi doesnt deserve so much hate.

 

[Trevoga]

Them hiding their relationship has yet to hurt a third person. Senpai's BS clearly hurt Chidori multiple times. Yeah, I think I'll keep blaming the harmful liar.

 

[The_FallenAngel]

Oof, peer pressure really is a bitch. As is internalised homophobia. Doesn't excuse her, but it does give more perspective on her and her actions. I do hope she manages to be more real to herself and find a new love that will love her back just as much.

I still wish she could've explained to Chidori or at least said that ger feelings were genuine. Of course Chidori wouldn't leave Nanoha, but still, it would've given better closure

Fuck comphet tbh

 

[Gyges]

Ah shit, poor thing. That's a recipe for misery.

 

[SparkShadow]

That’s kinda sad .....


She still a bitch tho

 

[JustCallMeDaBoss]

Again her last lines are pretty weird, was the chocolate real ? Was her visit real ? she says she wanted to play around but .... well guess it also her putting an end to it, the tears have me leaning towards she realized she fucked up and she wanted to try going at it for real but was rejected.

Till the end her perpetual unintrested face did her 0 favors, try to show some emotions.

 

[NeonWinter]

Internalized homophobia ruins so many relationships...

 

[gabeboi]

honnestly fuck off despite having her reasons nothing justifies the way she played with chidori's feeling this is what she deserves

 

[spidersonbikes]

Just dump your childhood friend and find another girl damn

 

[Haru777]

Oh piss off. Even if Igarashi Sempai had real feelings for Chidori at one points, she kept trying to push things and tease her. She knew what she was doing playing around and I don't feel sympathy for her.

 

[Amyliazora]

The only thing i really dislike and will not forgive Igarashi for is outing Chidori like she did with her "joke". Just imagine how badly that could have gone if she did that to anyone other than Nanoha.

Coming back to someone you hurt, who already rejected you and wants to move on is a bit of a dick move. But considering everything she herself was dealing with not something that i can't understand and sympathize with.

One issue i have is that she does not seem to understand how badly she hurt Chidori and how she could hurt her again. Or she just don't give a fuck but i want to think she isn't that kind of filth.

 

[therealrevin]

Thats so sad alexa play despacito

 

[broadsword80]

Judging by the way she handled her meeting with Chidori in the previous chapters, I'm going to go out and say:

Nope, you're still a bitch. End of story.

One does not make THAT many conscious decisions to literally attack another person emotionally and get to walk out unscathed with the victim card. Reading this whole chapter the only thing I could take away from it is that she learned literally nothing from the two times Chidori has rejected her. Sure, maybe being a lesbian was a part of it, but maybe... just maybe... it was because you were an ENORMOUS, GARGANTUAN, ASSHOLE?

 

[Doritos420]

Lol that’s what happens when you say that shit to other gay ppl dude

 

[gronkle]

 

[TheCatie]

It's kind of sad.
And also @JustCallMeDaBoss you are not alone. I agree with you.

 

[Madance]

I won't and cannot excuse Igarashi for her abysmal behavior. Yes, a lot of people with self-hatred issues(in her case is homophobia) will self-sabotage their own happiness and all, but the problem is that her acts have damaged Chidori's views on love and herself, and I have no idea about Igarashi's childhood friend own feelings, but I'm sure he wouldn't be pleased to know how much irrelevant he is to her(since he is just a tool to be used by Igarashi's whims).

Of course, Japan's society is very traditional when it comes to things like love, and expectations, and they don't really see LGB as normal(although, they generaly have a positive view on trangenders, thats why I excluded them from the LGB, but of course, its not a perfect rule). They might "accept it" while the parties are young since they can excuse it as a "mistake of youth", or being an outisder, but they quickly turn to demand that the society as a whole just follow its traditions. That kind of view is so problematic since it takes away from what a person wants and turn into a "what the others want", and of course, a traditionalist society like that don't accept whatever they consider too different.

Igarashi probably had and still has real feelings of love towards Chidori, but senpai's love is tainted by her selfishness and her own internal prejudice.

She honestly believed that Chidori, a girl she hurt so much to the point of avoiding her until the day she graduated from highschool, would not only forgiven her, but also would come back to her just like that.
That reveals how arrogant Igarashi is, because, how much overconfident does someone needs to be able to act like nothing had happened?

If Nanoha didn't interrupt when she brought the new prospective members to the club, if Igarashi and Chidori were both left to their own devices, what do you all think a selfish, overconfident person like senpai would have done? Probably try to get all "touchy-touchy" or kept feeding words with double meaning, all while playing that whole "holier than thou" crap she kept doing her entire life.

And I'm not even talking about wjat she would have done if Chidori was single. If that was the case, I believe Chidori still would have rejected senpai on valentine's day, but Igarashi could have her chance on that visitation day, specially since Igarashi and Chidori would be alone, together, with a closed door separating them from the others. However, while I can theorize this, I also have my own doubts regarding how serious senpai would have taken this, or how Chidori might have her own misgivings over jumping back into such a toxic enviroment.

All in one, Igarashi had more to grown and learn as a human being by taking this bad experience as an opportunity and to not repeat the same mistake. Far more than the other possibility, which would be the act of ressurecting her relationship with her kouhai, which would allow her to fall back into bad habits, and let her resume hurting someone who really didn't deserve it. I believe if Igarashi gets to learn through this experience; she might learn to become a better person and that might allow her to deal with her issues, which would let her get a new girlfriend.

I wouldn't mind an spin-off around such premise, but I doubt something like that would ever happen anyway, so I'm not really expecting much fron her.

What matter is that Igarashi's interference have created the perfect opportunity to let Chidori and Nanoha grown into their relationship, strenghting it and making it more mature. This probably will influence their future decisions.

And Igarashi still is a dick. That outing thing just because she felt jealous and frustated was so juvenile that I rolled my eyes when I saw the scene. Really hope she learns or just go be a dick to someone like her.

 

[Nipolpooper]

Nope. Still Igarashi's fault.

 

[fidelitas]

I understand why she would act like that, internalized homophobia, pressure from society and all that, but that still doesn't change the fact that she was being a huge ass. Most people have a reason why they act a certain way, but in the end what matters is what they did and what consequences these actions have. Chidori assumed that they both were feeling the same, opened up and made herself vulnerable, only to be told by Igarashi that this kind relationship was impossible, a mere misunderstanding and abnormal. Hearing that from a person you hold close can leave deep scars, especially during that age and even more so if that's your first experience with love. The consequences could have become way worse, if Nanoha hadn't pulled her out of that. So yes, I can see why she did this and I do wish that she comes to terms with herself and finds someone to depend on, but in this situation she should just get lost.