I won't comment on the quality of the translation since I don't know Korean, but I will say that the English is not very good. Could definitely use a proofreader. That said, for someone who is clearly not fluent in English you did a very good job in not making any meaning disturbing errors.
Even if the grammar is bad, at no point was I unsure of what they were supposed to be saying. That's already a lot better than half the scanlations out there.
Thank you for picking this up.