If It is Fine With My Blood - Vol. 1 Ch. 5 - I must Grow up Soon
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He fell for the Trap
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Complications, whatever. When do we get to see horrible things happen to those bullying little creeps?
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@Purplelibraryguy - Elementary school bullies: I personally don't remember any such problems when I was in elementary school (at first in Germany, then in the USA, 1960s), but not long after my daughter started attending elementary school (1991?) I got some disturbing reports from my wife, who would walk to the school every day to meet our daughter and bring her home. It seems a couple of the older boys (perhaps 9, 10 years old) had decided that my wife would be a good target for them. Perhaps because she is relatively short, but probably because she is visibly of foreign extraction (Peru). Anyway, they were harassing her in some way. After a couple days of hearing these reports, I decided to do something. I came home from work early and followed my wife to the school at a distance. She knew I was there, but I didn't want to scare off the bullies right away. Once we got there, I held back and watched. Sure enough, there they came. I walked right up behind them, put my hands on their shoulders, and in a menacing tone said something like "You sure must feel like real men, picking on a mother like that, eh?" They fled and never bothered her again.
I remain convinced that behavior like theirs comes from the home. Especially if it starts that young.
I remain convinced that behavior like theirs comes from the home. Especially if it starts that young.
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@rpapo Well, some comes from the home no doubt, but school kids have their own social dynamic going. It is possible for schools to guide that dynamic away from bullying if they start early, but most have no idea how and end up instead miserably failing to stop it after it's well and truly taken hold.
Personally, I was a shrimp, bookish, quiet and glasses-wearing. I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school, frequently chased around the schoolyard by little gangs and beaten up if caught. And of course tons of taunting and insults, but I mostly gave as good as I got there. And frankly, the kids giving me a hard time were having plenty of fun doing it; they were young, but they had plenty of agency of their own and they were getting their sadistic little jollies based on their own personal instincts. Some were mostly going along with the group, but it's not like they didn't have that side to them--they were accessing their worst side because that's what everyone was doing, and might have acted better if led a different direction, but that side was there for them to find.
I have little patience with the notion that it's all the parents' fault when kids act like vicious little creeps. That's one influence among many, probably smaller than peer group interactions, and personal character is a significant influence as well--kids are not tabula rasa even from very young, they bring their own personal stuff to the party.
Personally, I was a shrimp, bookish, quiet and glasses-wearing. I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school, frequently chased around the schoolyard by little gangs and beaten up if caught. And of course tons of taunting and insults, but I mostly gave as good as I got there. And frankly, the kids giving me a hard time were having plenty of fun doing it; they were young, but they had plenty of agency of their own and they were getting their sadistic little jollies based on their own personal instincts. Some were mostly going along with the group, but it's not like they didn't have that side to them--they were accessing their worst side because that's what everyone was doing, and might have acted better if led a different direction, but that side was there for them to find.
I have little patience with the notion that it's all the parents' fault when kids act like vicious little creeps. That's one influence among many, probably smaller than peer group interactions, and personal character is a significant influence as well--kids are not tabula rasa even from very young, they bring their own personal stuff to the party.
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@Purplelibraryguy - I don't know why I escaped all that in elementary school. I certainly received plenty in middle school, and was entirely unprepared for it when it came.
Agreed, though, that some element of it all comes from the child's nature. My children's core personality was apparent the moment they were born. My daughter didn't cry. She simply looked around with dark eyes. My son, however, cried for most of an hour after he was born. And he didn't start talking until he was 3.5 years old. He simply learned how to get what he wanted non-verbally and through his sister. The doctors checked him out and simply said he appeared to not feel like talking yet.
Agreed, though, that some element of it all comes from the child's nature. My children's core personality was apparent the moment they were born. My daughter didn't cry. She simply looked around with dark eyes. My son, however, cried for most of an hour after he was born. And he didn't start talking until he was 3.5 years old. He simply learned how to get what he wanted non-verbally and through his sister. The doctors checked him out and simply said he appeared to not feel like talking yet.
