@mahtan: Oh, dude, don't get me started on this "friendzone" nonsense. It's really not a thing. Who you are and aren't attracted to is determined by the individual. If the guy is attracted to the girl, but the girl isn't, you aren't caught in the friendzone; you're just not in her strike zone. But if you earned her respect, you are friends. Same works in reverse (and I've seen both cases happen firsthand).
The concept of the friendzone is for those with a on overinflated sense of self (Not ego. Not Pride. Self.) that can;t accept that they might actually not be considered that attractive. Once you let go of this high school notion, you realize the folly of trying to chase after someone who doesn't want you. And being just friends is hardly a bad thing. You increase your circle of influence by one more person and as long as you remain genuine, said person can even assist you in your pursuit of love (Happened with my sister and it happened with my friend of 20 years, so you can't tell me I'm wrong).
I will agree that a 3rd party's view is very useful since the concept of "love is blind" is very real (Case in point with your abusive relationship example. Can't get much more blind than that, tragically...). But the concept of losing for being in love first and the friendzone is complete malarkey. It's just my opinion, but I state this out of personal experiences and firsthand stories I've witnessed, not theories and he-said-she-said things.