@SuperOniichan Okay, fine, I'll humour you.
You said the following:
- "Nobody forbids trans women from identifying themselves as women (although by using the trans prefix you are already adding a nuance to this), problems start when some trans women try to seduce lesbians or straight men, threatening to accuse them of transphobia if they do not want to see them as attractive a woman just because of their gender identity. Not to mention that arguments like “you love my gender, not me” are quite manipulative and simply devalue someone's sexuality."
I don't know about you, but trans women don't generally go around trying to seduce people who dislike them. In fact, most trans people I know almost exclusively date other trans people, so this problem seems to be highly exaggerated to demonise trans people, women in particular.
For another thing, you say this as if trans women liking cis lesbians or straight guys is inherently problematic because you don't believe they're "really" women. Which is, again, wrong. Trans women are women, no debate. It is perfectly fine for lesbians of any kind or straight men to be interested in them.
What we're accusing people of transphobia for isn't because they won't fuck trans women, it's when trans women are denied BECAUSE they're trans. Cis people who want to date another cis person don't cry foul when they get rejected and if a trans woman wants to be with a cis lesbian or straight guy and gets rejected, that is not automatic transphobia.
Everyone has a right to date or not date who they want to. Nobody is calling people who reject trans women transphobes if they reply "sorry, I don't feel the same way about you" or "Sorry, I already like someone else" or whatever. The problem comes when trans women are denied their womanhood. We only ever call people transphobic if their immediate response is "I refuse to date a trans person".
In this scenario, an entire group of people is being denied solely on the basis of who they are as a collective marginalised identity. It's no better than those people on Tinder or Grindr who have in their profiles "No black, no Jewish, no [insert minority group here]".
Those kinds of statements aren't just a "preference", it's full on prejudice or phobia. It's stating that an immutable part of a person's entire being is more important to you than their actual personality, so even if it was preference, at best it just makes you look shallow.
Saying "you like my gender, not me?" is not someone trying to be manipulative. It's already established she liked or likes him - she's simply trying to make sense of it in her head since she thought she was only into women. The thing this character is ACTUALLY saying is "maybe you can give it a try, and we can see how you feel about it?" It's not uncommon for people to be in a relationship without actually liking or knowing much about the other at first, this isn't any different from meeting someone you only talked to on OkCupid for a few dates to see if you're into them. That's the entire point of dating at first, in fact.
