"You guys on a date? Can I come?"
"No."
"Aw, c'mon, it'll be fun! It'll be me, you, her, and a few other people!"
"No."
"Sheesh buddy, no need to be so rude. Seriously, I'll just follow behind and occasionally comment on stuff."
"No."
"Big man, very impressive. I'll stay within earshot and eyeshot for a few hours instead."
"No."
"I'm a normal human looking for human interaction and you're supposed to help."
"No."
"Can I attack you?"
"No."
"Look, the instant our conversation ends, my existence as a character in this story ends. That means I effectively die. You have to help me or you are basically a murderer."
"No."
Screams in fear as the page is turned