Edit: If this is Korean, what I said here probably isn't the best then
I think you could shorten/change the second and third family name to : Carnil/Carnyl and Esbeck. Not quite sure about the first, maybe El Senuanto.
Oh, one thing that kind of irked me was the fact that you went from Father to Otou-sama. I think it would be better if you stuck to one. Anyway, thanks for the translation