@bugdemon My use of "yuribait" is certainly different from yours, but I also don't conflate it with being necessarily a bad thing, plenty of things are "bait" in the way that I meant it and I personally consider them as such, most fanservice in general are, but I will agree that the way I used it wasn't correct to the way most people use it, for that I apologize, I will try to word my statements better rather than use such words incorrectly in the future.
As far as my experience being limited, I disagree, but mostly because I suck at explaining lmao. I've actively sought out yuri in all forms and have over years, the *tagged* things were specifically what I was talking about, the supposed inaccuracy of how people tag is irrelevant if that is how the tags are generally used and that's all I was talking about. In general the manga with little focus on it or ones where it's a single character are not tagged as yuri by the majority, and there-by I was saying that I don't count them under the tag. If you take "yuri" to mean any and all "girls love", as you have said you do, then certainly this and many many many other manga would now be tagged, but the general populace don't tag those and I highly doubt they'll change that for the better of us.
And lastly I understand what you mean about the "shoujo ai" tag and why you would dislike it in general now, but honestly I have two major problems. The first is simple, I don't really care how Japan or the Japanese manga community handle things. We are not the Japanese community, nor do we or they actively require the other to conform, the same applies to the Korean mahnwa, Chinese manhua, etc. We can take things outside of their original context and don't really need to care about how it would look to the other. We also have a term for how "Shoujo-ai" is used in Japan (according to what you wrote I can't speak for it myself), "Lolicon", and that one does hold it's original meaning sadly. Perhaps this just comes from a difference in ideology between people, but in general the western English-speaking audience has never cared about how things are in the actual origins. We take words, cannibalize ideas, and eventually evolve them into something completely different. That's kinda just how this sort of interaction is throughout the world. Ideally it might be different, but realistically it never will be, because the vast majority just don't care. This community is a conglomeration of all sorts of people who aren't from those communities and a small number of those who are that choose to translate for us, we realistically can't follow the ideals of the Japanese community because they won't fit in others, at some point we have to accept that ours is it's own and that it will form it's own meanings for things like this. This only gets worse as the community adapts it's own ideas of what certain terms are and fits those meanings to things with little to no regard as to what they actually mean or meant.
Small edit here: I'd like to add that when I say/said "adult oriented" I don't mean ecchi or sexual, as you seemed to take that, I mean the story being literally adult oriented, more serious with more of a take on actual society than just a "everyone is totally cool with it and you can do whatever with no consequence" story, ecchi and fanservice-y goes into it's own category with it's own tags.
The second is that I would actually love a more distinct set of romance related tags with more regulation like "hetero ai", though perhaps with better naming convention. A "light romance" tag, a "side romance" tag, an "adult romance" tag, etc, I mean we have 20 tags for different kinds of action manga, why not romance? But I also agree that as it currently is there really isn't any actual moderation of what goes to which, though by the current definitions there should be.
I'm very much a "go with whatever is there already" person, I don't care to try to change systems people are used to when it ultimately makes little difference. So I personally go by what definitions are already set in and those would be "shoujo ai" is for lighter romance(btw the words I wanted before in place of "soft" was something akin to "light romance" meaning less focus on realism and adults and more fluffy nonsense) and yuri for the more adult oriented more serious ones and of course, the H, even though I keep that hidden on here anyway and like you pointed out the majority of sites don't even have. In a very similar manner to how "seinen" and "shounen" are used to differentiate the audience things are intended for. Not so much the contents but the intent, like a movies age rating or games ESRB.
I ended up writing a lot more than I intended to but, all of that said, I did say in the best case I'm proven wrong, you are very much correct and I concede my points. Thank you for writing your points out and not just telling me to screw off, this was a good lesson on some things and a good reminder to think before I speak, so to say.
and just for the record, so I seem less arrogantly douchy, when I said "worst case someone gets mad at my opinion and I move on" I didn't mean that I just ignore and don't care, rather that when someone comes and is just mad without reason, I won't care, I haven't the time to waste on that sort of interaction. You gave actual arguments and explained your points, most people just write something along the lines of "your mom" and try to make the other party angry or feel hurt because they *can't* argue their side. I'm sure you can understand that that is a vastly different thing to someone like yourself 😀