Life Advices from the MangaDex Community

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

Rules:
1. Serious replies only. Light jokes are okay as long as they don't go way off-topic.
2. This is an unofficial support thread if everyone likes it, I guess, so treat it as such.

P.s. If you just wanna rant about life, we got that. If you're tired of being depressed, read about other people being happy for a change!

 

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

I can't manage my time.

I've been given two months of holiday at which I can do anything I want. So what happened? I wake up super late, usually in the afternoon at 4 am, sleep literally in the morning when the sun shines, spend all my time watching whatever YouTube recommended me, have an overflow on unwatched seasonal anime, and oh man there are so many manga chapters that I downloaded cause I plan to read them and never actually have the time.

I have been given two months to do literaly anything I want, how am I unable to find time to binge anime?

I figured that YouTube recommendations is an evil demon that steals my time so I abstain from approaching that beast the moment I realize it but I'm still having trouble being productive. Any tips?

I'm also currently writing a short novel as a personal project to keep myself busy which is pretty much the thing I sinked most of my time into the past couple weeks. I'm only able to write at least a sentence and at most a page every day though. This isn't writer's block either since I already have all my plot laid out and everything. I listen to new music and pick the ones I like into my playlist so my focus may be divided. I find myself simply daydreaming in front of my laptop for no reason. How can I boost my productivity?

And since I'm already two questions deep why not add a third. Ant tips for a student facing difficult subjects to avoid stress throughout the next semester?

Thx for reading.

 

[axelTHEGREAT]

jog your leg, ez

 

[Albwin]

@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN:

I got an answer for your third question. Although, reading about how you spent your holiday I don't know if it will really help you.

When I still was an university student, no matter how much I didn't like some subject, I always tended to work on it as soon as possible or at least have fixed points of time for this. Never do something last minute.

Here are some examples:

You have a free period and no idea what to do? Do your homework and you'll be free of it when you return home.

It's November and you know you have to hold a presentation in February, even already knowing its topic? Directly start preparing your presentation whenever you have time for it. The earlier you have your PowerPoint presentation, poster or whatever prepared, the less you have to stress yourself when the actual date is drawing close as still have enough time left to practice your presentation. Holding a presentation fluently and without memo cards is often well received by the teachers so it doesn't hurt practicing this instead.

Despite working on it in some free periods you still have leftover homework and reports. Take one day of the weekend to completely do them all and enjoy the rest of your weekend without spending thoughts on homework.

You have to submit a report together with others and you are the one tasked with printing it? Tell your group members a deadline until when you want to receive their parts of the report. I for one always told my group members to send me their parts at 10 p.m. of the day before submitting at the latest. Waiting for an important part of a report and receiving it at 6 a.m. the morining you have to submit it just isn't okay.

So, these rules wolked well for me to avoid stress. I definitely always had a diligent and disciplined character, though. It doesn't have to be the same for you. But even if it isn't, who am I to say it couldn't help? Just try it out. It won't hurt at least.

Greetings,

Albwin

 

[Xzayer]

If you enjoy playing video games for extended periods of time, be sure to take a quick break.
Usually to stretch a-bit or possibly move around.

Sitting for extended periods of time can possibly lead to decreased circulation in your legs (blood to pool in the legs). Though it’s not harmful swollen legs do look unsightly. So at best take a quick break, move around a bit. Then go right back to playing more video games.

 

[Pika]

@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN
Hehe, I have the same problem with the waking up late during school vacation.
I set up an alarm at 8~9AM and actually wake up for it no matter how hard, be it rolling out of the bed and falling from a decent height. You'll curse yourself but for a good reason then. If it gets tough to get through the day then take a 20min nap (learn to power nap, best choice of my life). I still sleep at 2~3AM but that's beside the point

About that Youtube recommendations thing, I'm also guilty of that. Close that tab and don't open it again.
About productivity boost... No idea, maybe try a routine where you do it after doing something that you do daily or something? Like after brushing teeth dunno. I also have zero motivation on anything.

For that student and difficult subjects together
I found out that making a friend that's in your same situation is the best way. Same situation means something like a classmate or something. Vent together and lash out together, help each other out that way. Vent on your problems, if you're able to do that, that means that you know where the problem lies. Like if a certain chapter is too hard, lash it out on that friend. If your friend says "EZPZ lemon squeezy, wtf is your problem on that?!" ask him to explain it to you, same vice versa, help him too if he vents on you (it also helps yourself tbh). If you both have the same problem, then ask someone else, be it a teacher or a fellow student. If you know an alumni, ask him too. The hardest part of this is actually starting the conversation. Force yourself into a small group, be it a single person or a group of friends that you don't know. Don't forget to share your interests, don't be that "friend" that only lashes out on people. Keep your friends close as they say.
Throw your pride away and lick other people shoes. One day, someone will lick your shoe in return.

 

[MoonlightFairy]

Having a trip with your friends (or family) always working for me, or doing some exercise together, of course finishing homework and project is the most important, and I always did it with my friends so we could help each other. This way is faster and more efficient.

If you join an organization or a circle, then it's more convenient since it's usually have a plan, especially for new students or graduation events. It can also add to your resume and curriculum vitae.

But yeah, traveling is my best option from my experience, releasing a stress with your friends in a different places, have fun, I mean there's a privilege of becoming a college student.

Have a longer date with your girlfriend (or boyfriend, or just a friend), make a plan from morning till afternoon. (I usually have a date for two hours or less, unless it's movie, so this is my personal experience opinion)

 

[Teddy]

First up, mate we've both joined MD for a long time so I remember you have problems and they been unsolved for a long time, this ain't your first post about needing help.

On that; ask yourself how many pieces of advice have you tried and judge the efficiency of them. Keep the ones that seem to help, if you haven't; stop posting and try them out. Listening to advice without doing anything will not help you out, even if all other advice fail, atleast you will get used to being productive testing it out.

Thirdly, All of the advice above are good.
Exercise provides good hormonal rebalance. Retreats with youth groups generally have a lot of physical activities and early curfews. Physcial friends are also good, but most of all just stop touching electronics for a few days to a week. If you go on a retreat, you will have convos with physical people, activites with them that will make you tired. Then when its curfew it should be alot easy to "pass out" as long as you don't have something to keep your attention. It'll also reduce your dependency to them or least your "enduring disposition" to it will be reduced as you find that other activites that you enjoy and are dispositioned to pay attention to them.

Everything in moderation that includes school work. If you do a part each day, it will decrease, if you can self-discipline; anime and YouTube will not severely impact your circadian rhythm and you'll find that you can fit alot more activities in 24hours. Most people can enjoy the occasional drink, drug and junk food but when they are devoted to it, thats when problems occur.

Last of all, ask for advice from people around you not online, they can keep you accountable, you won't be even more dependant on brights shining in your face in the middle of the night.

P.s Telling people your goals have been "tested"(I hate the phrase "scientifically proven") to lower motivation as you feel to have already completed your goal; good as a coping mechanism, bad for getting any excrement done. So GG

 

[Garakuta]

As Pika said, establishing a routine is rather efficient, as it helps your brain to get and stay in a more productive state. What may also help is positive reinforcement, for example getting a snack only after you successfully finished a task. Particularly, I think it helps in establishing a set routine, as it may be hard at first to stick to it (I speak from experience).

About the slow progress of your novel, I think not listening to new music might help a bit, because in my experience I tend to concentrate more actively on it, well, because it’s new. Although, in general I don’t really listen to music when writing, but whatever works best for you. Another thing you could try is getting motivated/inspired before you start writing (or really anything you like to do). I generally have a problem motivating myself to do things, and half of the time it does the opposite, so what helps me, is getting motivated/inspired by somebody/something else. For example, before piano practice, watching a video of somebody playing an interesting piece can get me really fired up, or when reading a book, I sometimes start to get an urge to write something myself. It might not help, but at least try it out.

 

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

Thx for all your advice.

My introversion has become a problem without me realizing, or rather I realize but got too lazy to fix anything. Not sure how I can improve my conversation skills but when the opportunity comes, I'll try to remember it and talk rather than not. One thing I can try to fix from now is to start a schedule. I'll install an app to help me schedule. I'll try to spend a few minutes every day to decide what I want to do and for how long.

I don't think I can leave my phone tho cause I use it to afk grind in a gacha game lol. That, however, is ironically a great motivation for me to leave my phone alone so that's a plus.

Now that you said it, yeah I guess I need to talk about my problems to my family more. I don't really wanna tho. I just don't like having those kinds of conversation with my parents, not that I hate them. It feels cringe in a really bad way when they're the ones teaching me, idk why. I don't trust my irl acquaintances enough to reveal my problems. Those are probably problems within myself that I need to get over with and grow up.

Exercising is probably the greatest mental booster but I'm a lazy brick. Can't get myself motivated to jog for half an hour when I can spend that time watching, studying, or even procrastinating...

I'll set up two goals for myself: improve relationships and create a proper schedule. Everything else should be able to work itself out organically from this point on.

I heard that a great way to get motivated and do things in an orderly time is to set up a deadline for yourself. I'm still struggling with this because the deadline doesn't feel real enough to me since there's essentially zero consequences for passing this up. If I set punishments for myself, it's hard to actually follow it to completion.

Anyways at this point I'm just talking to myself. Thx for the help guys.

 

[mrguest]

I see ,basically breaking the "Comfort Zone" no?
It happens with everyone else including me,so play the system .
how do i put this.... a slight edge.

Keep doing small yet routinely good act or stuff will be accumulated into good habits ,now at the same time if I or you keep do bad stuff it will also accumulated into bad habits.
Right now i keep reading Bible and book called Slight Edge. just 2 or 3 pages a day,with or no effort whatsoever .
oh Slight Edge book give a basic idea on the stuff i talk earlier about "accumulated acts" http://careerbright.com/book-reviews/a-review-of-the-slight-edge-turning-simple-disciplines-into-massive-success-and-happiness .

So good luck for any of us i suppose.

 

[Pika]

@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN
If you're too lazy to do actual jogging like me, you can do something more simple like walking around. Something like parking your car slightly further than your destination to walk 5 extra minutes. Going to the grocery store by bike or whatever. Finally meeting up with a friend and tell him to download pokemon go (or download pokemon go yourself)

Anything will do as long as it helps your blood circulate.

 

[justforthelulz]

@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN

Don't know if you're still open to advice from strangers over the internet, but this passage of yours stood out to me:

Now that you said it, yeah I guess I need to talk about my problems to my family more. I don't really wanna tho.
I just don't like having those kinds of conversation with my parents, not that I hate them.
It feels cringe in a really bad way when they're the ones teaching me, idk why.
I don't trust my irl acquaintances enough to reveal my problems.

Don't wall yourself off like that. As long as your relationship with anyone, be it family/friends/acquaintances, isn't unsalvageably negative, talk to them.
Yes, some of them may not give a shit and that's to be expected. If everyone had high levels of empathy, that'd be ideal, but you and I both know better than to expect that.
Yes, it might feel like you're burdening them with your problems, even when they have worries and anxieties of their own to deal with.
But guess what? They're probably going through the exact same I-don't-have-anyone-to-talk-to-about-this as you are.
If you open up to them first, then they might open up to you in return, and now your bonds have deepened. (*results may vary)

And as cheesy as this sounds, talk to your family about it. Yes, their life advice may not be 100% transferable to your situation, and yes, it is very possible that you will feel negative emotions about yourself before/during/after the discussions, but if you keep putting it off and never talk to them about it, one day into the far future, you will come to regret not doing so.

_{What the fuck am I doing, giving life advice to a stranger when my own life is a goddamn mess...}

 

[Afiaki]

If anyone has trouble procrastinating on YouTube (but occasionally have to use the website for research and thus can't block it), I suggest the following.

1) For your (computer) browser, get an adblocking extension (uBlock Origin)
2) In the element blacklist/filter rules, enter:
www.youtube.com###primary > .ytd-two-column-browse-results-renderer.style-scope
www.youtube.com##ytd-guide-section-renderer.ytd-guide-renderer.style-scope:nth-of-type(2)
www.youtube.com##ytd-browse.ytd-page-manager.style-scope:nth-of-type(2) > ytd-playlist-sidebar-renderer.ytd-browse.style-scope
www.youtube.com###secondary
3) Resist turning the extension off "just for a quick minute"

You can pick and block elements on your own too, but this is all that I've found is needed.

Results)
Normal Homepage (without blocking)
Homepage (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
Normal Videos (with recommendations)
The Videos page as it should be

Sometimes you might try and be sneeki by using search to get 𝐹 𝒰 𝒩 𝒩 𝒴 𝑀 𝐸 𝑀 𝐸 𝒮 using search. Kill the search result page if you do this.
Then you can just internet search site:youtube.com for specific videos (without targeting).


Oh yeah, also:
If you have the YouTube app on your phone then delet that thing immediately. If you have one of those Android phones that doesn't let you uninstall it, get a different Launcher (like Nova) and hide it from the App Menu.

Importantly, following that:
If you're usually bad at procrastinating on YouTube then sign in on your phone's internet browser. You may end up reverting your desktop browser or reinstalling the app if you don't have some avenue to relax normally. So do that on a mobile browser. The reason being is that it's far more cumbersome to use the mobile website version of YouTube on a phone, which means it's far less easy to keep being distracted by it.

Bonus points if you do it on an older, slower or smaller phone.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

I wonder why people keep asking this it's like youtube is a cancer ...

people simply ashamed to admit if they're addicted to something . period . im a psychologist and let me tell you the way i handle this kind of cases . rule of thumb sleeping . first good kid sleep at 8~10 pm wake at 2~3 am . use alarm if you must . if you have a need and or a reason not to sleep (all-nighter) , try to sleep until early high noon (10~12 am) or better none at all then sleep at 8pm .

good sleep is a foundation of good psyche and good willpower . and both of psyche and willpower sprouts good habit . good habit produce good result .

if you need more do some self-restriction . just self-punish . like for my case i will watch bnp all episode if i do all-nighter 2 days straight or more . bnp is ideal self-torture for us normal-straight-dude . so far so good , no bnp for me . since the very thought of watching that abomination scared me and it actually left a mental-scar for me . that shyt is seriously a crime against humanity as a whole . do self-punish that is so scary for you , you wouldn't even dare to think to transgress your self-restriction .

next step bad action/deed elimination . the goal is to eradicate bad habit . source ? bad attitude , source ? bad action . do self-punishment if you fail to maintain this step . for benchmark reason , fyi reasonable goal in mind , remove 1 bad habit within 2 month . move to the next action if this procedure is finished .

next step find a good deed/action . 1 good deed per day sounds about great . even more so if you can repeat it daily .

rinse and repeat . i am a psychologist trust me . all that mumbo jumbo you find on internet won't get you far if you don't foster this good foundation .

in a nutshell for dummies : introspect yourself > get and maintain a good sleep > fail ? self-punish . success ? > eliminate bad deed > fail ? self punish . success ? > get a good deed > fail ? self-punish . success ? > go to eliminate bad deed . rinse and repeat .

 

[Afiaki]

What works for many doesn't work at all for some. People can be drastically different, of course.
Contrarily, what seems to be a band-aid fix may actually be a life-saver to others, but you just might not ever see the people who would be helped by such advice in real life. It's ultimately the person taking advice who will determine the effectiveness of some methods over others.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

My advice is despairingly basic . It means everybody CAN do it , and have access to it regardless of the variables , some exception ofc like insomnia which rooted from broken psyche like (fear of dark , anxiety , slothfulness , bad eating habit , etc) that prevents the rule of thumb from working . In that case that's another story .

You can't go any further than this , if there's no change after full procedure , then there's just a matter of good faith , repetition , and persistence .

 

[imcrazy]

yeah, good advises... we are NOT dogs. you know. That's why you should find GOOD psychologists.
I don't think you really are a psychologist and if you are, you're not a good one. Trust me I'm batman. 😈
Self-punish uh? If anyone had the will power to pursue a self-punishment, they most likely have the will power to eliminate the bad deed without it. If they don't and there isn't an illness at work or is something unconscious, it's because they are lazy and they do things only when they "have to" and if that's true, i don't think they could do a self-punishment and being consistent without supervision.
Staying up all night it's not a bad habit, it's a choice. If you stay up all night when you can't, you're just irresponsible. So, you punish yourself because you don't understand that it's bad for you? What are you a child? Or a masochist? 'oh crap, i "accidentally" stayed up all night again, now I "have to" watch that shit... 😱what a bummer!😱'
Seriously, I will punish my children when there will be a need because they don't fully understand the importance of things yet and they need to learn and grow. I will obviously try to explain why, BUT sure as hell I will not, WILL NOT, public shame them to make them discard a bad behavior or i don't know... putting laxative in their coffee to make them quit smoking...

Now, I'm sorry, i didn't mean to be harsh, the whole self-punishment thing just pissed me off because it reminded me of those psychologist and psychiatrists that want to "cure" gay people with punishments causing them ptsd to make them more vulnerable to breakdowns and all those mental illness that they know so well how to treat. Because, sadly, they don't know how to change your brain without damaging it.
Even if it works, even if it's right, not everything we study and prove needs to be done if takes one's soul in the process.

People want to be rewarded, supported and they like to be pitied.
I think that's enough to be exploited , no need to punish anyone, let alone yourself.
I can understand how it can work with unconscious things we do, but if you're aware, you need will power, if you aren't strong enough, you need to be supported.

WTH... you people are crazy.

"No, it's not what you think, that whip you saw doesn't mean that! i swear! I used to bite my nails! It's a medical whip!"

 

[Teddy]

Username checksout

 

[Nick_Asano]

Make a to do list to solidify your goals if you're prone to distractions. Your objectives should be possible or you may lose faith in your to do list, making it obsolete. As someone with ADHD this helps me do the things that I want to do but don't have the patience or discipline to do, and it allows me to "forget" without worrying that I might actually "forget".

The second thing is to "not bust nuts". I know it sounds dumb, but hear me out. By "not busting nuts" your testosterone levels stay more consistent, reducing feelings of lethargy and anxiety and heightening confidence, creativity, and motivation. You're also saving yourself however much time would otherwise be spent looking at porn/hentai, and viruses/cookies from these sites are no longer a factor. There's also the fact that "not busting nuts" will literally make you more attractive to women, as testosterone levels are higher and women can sense that. It's the same way that men find women with higher estrogen levels more attractive than women with lower estrogen levels.

Third: Work out everyday. It's no surprise that women find muscles attractive. This also benefits your overall mood, which affects your posture, body language, and general attitude, all of which can result in being more attractive to women, and likable in general. You'll be stronger, happier, and a little more disciplined.

Fourth: Drink more water and swish with it from time to time. I definitely don't need to explain why drinking water is good for your health, but all the same there's a lot of us who still aren't drinking enough, or substitute with less healthy drinks like soda, tea or coffee. Soaking dishes before washing them makes them easier to wash. In a similar way swishing with water from time to time makes brushing more effective if you've eaten anything in the past hour and it gets rid of a lot of food particles that would erode and stick to your teeth. Do you find yourself picking your teeth a lot? That scrapes away enamel and damages your teeth. By swishing with water you're making that less of a need. This will also encourage you to drink more water, so the benefits stack.

Lastly: Kick social media. This doesn't mean that you can't make the occasional Reddit post, but don't spend hours a day on Reddit or Twitter arguing with people whose minds can't be changed. Don't spend hours a day on (insert social media) waiting for replies or notifications while commenting on new posts and making new posts and messaging new people, because you'll only perpetuate this vicious cycle of waiting and addiction. The forums on MangaDex is the closest thing to a social media that I use, and I don't usually spend more than 10 minutes a day on them. I used to be addicted to Google+, which was a social media a lot like Myspace but way more user friendly, but it got shut down in 2019 and I haven't been "addicted" to a social media since.
Ps. Addiction comes in many forms, not just the novel ones. Be aware of things you may be addicted to and reevaluate the way you spend your day from time to time.