Lily of the Valley - Ch. 4

Dex-chan lover
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I wanted to reply to your insightful message, as I also believe this was a missed opportunity. It's too bad you're not the one writing the story! I think there's an element of wanting readers to see themselves in Lily as this super submissive character who is completely dominated by Rose. After all, being dominated and losing oneself to pleasure is a big part of the fetish. But normally there would be more build up.
It's a shame, because she is a talented erotic artist who can pull together these great powerful (hot) panels and the ingredients were all there (I was hooked for the first 3 chapters and I still kind of want Rose to step on me) but I can't shake the feeling she needed a better writer or editor in the room to collaborate with, or at the very least some more revisions. It is only 4 chapters in so maybe it will surprise us but I feel a little pessimistic.

My masochism led me all the way through BTD so I will probably follow this one to the end...I really love how she draws, despite my complaints and criticisms of the plotting.
 
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Fed-Kun's army
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May 7, 2024
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My critique of this ended up spawning an entire light novel / web novel concept which is currently devouring my life so i felt like I was biased, too much projecting that narrative over this one and I deleted. I wish I could personally thank her because this new story is shaking me up in the best possible way.

All this is a shame, because she is a talented erotic artist who can pull together these great powerful (hot) panels and the ingredients were all there (I was hooked for the first 3 chapters and I still want Rose to step on me) but I can't shake the feeling she needed a better writer or editor in the room to collaborate with, or at the very least some more revisions. It is only 4 chapters in so maybe it will surprise us but I feel a little pessimistic.

My masochism led me all the way through BTD so I will probably follow this one to the end...I really love how she draws, despite my complaints and criticisms of the plotting.
I think anyone being honest with themselves can see where this is headed. There's nothing so far to suggest that the author will surprise us in the next chapter. I'll check it out, but I'm not expecting any changes to sway my opinion. I actually fear it will delve even deeper into NTR fetish territory. That’s not very captivating, especially since the story had the potential to set up an story similar to erotic thriller classics like The Hunger or Carmilla.

I completely agree that the artist has talent, but it's disappointing to see it used to create something unappealing. For me, that's pretty unforgivable.

From what I've seen, the artist seems to have a rather toxic attitude. Art often reflects life. In Korea, publicly criticizing a collaboration partner is almost unheard of, and speaking ill of your customer base is generally unwise anywhere. She really needs to collaborate with someome who can have a positive influence over her. However, it might be that she genuinely believes this content is appropriate, or perhaps she's just aiming to produce mindless smut.

I guess we'll see each other in the next chapter. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
 
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Dex-chan lover
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Jan 7, 2021
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The plot so far mirrors typical NTR (Netorare) hentai quite closely, from the characters' logic to their attitudes. It seems to lack the depth and character development we'd expect from more substantial narratives.

Calling this a proper story might be a stretch; it feels more like straightforward adult content, and not particularly high-quality at that. The story seems focused solely on sex without any deeper elements or development, which is disappointing. While I'm open to the possibility that the plot might shift, the shallow storytelling so far doesn't leave much room for optimism.

I predict that the maid character will probably behave like the typical passive husband often depicted in hentai, doing nothing about Lily's infidelity. This type of logic is common in adult manga but doesn't lend itself to serious or engaging storytelling. It seems more suited to hentai forums rather than yuri discussions on mainstream platforms.

It's ironic that the author of this story, also known for being the artist of "Bad Thinking Diary," criticized that work's narrative—yet this new story seems even less developed. It's quite bold to create a story with mainly unlikable characters and no compelling arc, like Anna being cuckolded, which might not appeal to most readers outside of a specific niche in hentai.

I get that some might find this kind of content appealing, but I can't understand reading this if you are looking for meaningful or heartfelt yuri stories.
You'd be surprised how popular NTR is in Manhwa. People like the drama, the conflict. Especially in Korea.
 

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