Living Will - Ch. 10
- Thread starter MangaDex
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wait, so she just dies??? wtf. ugh. another yuri manga that ends in tragedy. if i'd known it was going to be like this i wouldn't have bothered reading. thus could have had SO much potential or at least a better ending, but it's just another cheap death ending.
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Bro what the fuck.... Unneccessary
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Reading a tragedy manga with so much death flag and hoping fora good ending is kinda stupid. The fact that one of them will die by the end of it was predictable. You know, if you read only Yuris with bad end where one of the MC, maybe you should reconsider your tastes, just saying.
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Rant time, because while I'm not wholly dissatisfied with the ending, the way the author executed it turned what could have been a very well-written tragedy, or an excellent long-term story, into something that just... wasn't all that compelling.
I'll preface this by saying that, while I thought the ending could've been much better, I still cried like a baby during it. It was well-written, even if the context surrounding it was somewhat lack-luster. The biggest flaw I noticed after the fact was the fact that, while the artist/writer may have story-boarded for a ten chapter manga, by the time they were at the end of the sixth chapter, they were only about thirty to forty percent of the way through the story. Up until then, it had been a wonderfully-crafted slow-burn romance between the two heroines, but with the realization that the end was near, the story's pace ramped up considerably. I feel as if this had been two to five chapters longer, the ending we received would've been far more compelling, but it just... wasn't. I'll break down my analysis/rant into two parts: How to make the ending as it is better, and how I think things should've gone.
— PART ONE —
Make the story longer. The main problem I have with the ending is that it feels wholly artificial, and the build-up to it was far too short. I feel as if this is a case of the author starting the story with an ending in mind, but when it came to putting pen to paper, the story drifted from the desired end-course. Why did Jeannette, who, up until this point, had been calm and collected even when Jeanne was in direct danger, suddenly commit to suicide run? Her motivation was to survive, kill Eddy and his goons, and escape with Jeanne, so why? The only reason she did this was to manufacture a way to have Jeanne jump in front of her.
How did Eddy even find out about Jeannette in the first place? One could surmise that it was Burnette who outed her, but without any evidence, that is just speculation. Everything towards the end of the story feels rushed and manufactured to get the outcome the author desired rather than an organic series of events. While I can partially understand Jeanne's motivation for wanting to be Jeannette's savior for once, it feels... almost hollow in its execution. There was no build-up to her reaching this conclusion. The whole meeting with Eddy towards the end felt forced, and her not confiding in Jeannette about what had happened feels uncharacteristic for her — Jeanne knew she was an assassin, that her goal was to kill Eddy and his goons, so why did she... arbitrarily withhold that information?
There isn't enough set-up in the story to make the ending feel like anything other than a predetermined course of action that the author desired. I enjoy tragedies, and I enjoyed this story, I just wish it was better towards the end.
— PART TWO —
Where the hell did Burnette go? This plays into the first part wherein the lack of story leaves a lot to be desired. So much time was spent in the first chapter to setting Burnette up as a grave threat to Jeannette, only for them to... disappear. Completely. Which makes their existence feel as if it was nothing more than plot device to put the two characters together — leading me to where I would've had the story go.
Make Burnette actually exist. Give them a role in the story beyond a plot device. Set-up scenes where they meet with Eddy, form a partnership wherein they give up all the information they have about Jeannette, thus making the build-up towards the climax more satisfying. Additionally, add more time both before and after Jeanne's meeting with Eddy to sufficiently build all the characters' motivations.
Onto the ending itself. Keep everything basically the same, just without Jeannette being so uncharacteristically inept. What this leads to is, rather than her charging suicidally into Eddy and his goons, we get to see a bit of what we saw in the first chapter: Jeannette being a badass — slowly taking down the guards one by one until a final climactic confrontation with Eddy, wherein the story then parallels the event leading to the heroines' initial meeting. Just before she deals the final blow, Jeannette's carelessness once again gets the better of her. Missing one of the goons, they appear from behind, intent on killing her — except Jeanne steps in the way, taking the bullet for her.
In a fit of rage, Jeannette kills Eddy and the remaining goon and carries a gravely injured Jeanne back to her apartment. Their roles are reversed. Now it's Jeannette's turn to nurse Jeanne back to health. Their dreams can't come true just yet, however, as the first part of the story closes with Burnette's arrival, forcing them to flee for their lives with assassins in tow.
Not only does this open up the story for a continuation, but it is, in my opinion, a more satisfying ending than the one written.
— PART ONE —
Make the story longer. The main problem I have with the ending is that it feels wholly artificial, and the build-up to it was far too short. I feel as if this is a case of the author starting the story with an ending in mind, but when it came to putting pen to paper, the story drifted from the desired end-course. Why did Jeannette, who, up until this point, had been calm and collected even when Jeanne was in direct danger, suddenly commit to suicide run? Her motivation was to survive, kill Eddy and his goons, and escape with Jeanne, so why? The only reason she did this was to manufacture a way to have Jeanne jump in front of her.
How did Eddy even find out about Jeannette in the first place? One could surmise that it was Burnette who outed her, but without any evidence, that is just speculation. Everything towards the end of the story feels rushed and manufactured to get the outcome the author desired rather than an organic series of events. While I can partially understand Jeanne's motivation for wanting to be Jeannette's savior for once, it feels... almost hollow in its execution. There was no build-up to her reaching this conclusion. The whole meeting with Eddy towards the end felt forced, and her not confiding in Jeannette about what had happened feels uncharacteristic for her — Jeanne knew she was an assassin, that her goal was to kill Eddy and his goons, so why did she... arbitrarily withhold that information?
There isn't enough set-up in the story to make the ending feel like anything other than a predetermined course of action that the author desired. I enjoy tragedies, and I enjoyed this story, I just wish it was better towards the end.
— PART TWO —
Where the hell did Burnette go? This plays into the first part wherein the lack of story leaves a lot to be desired. So much time was spent in the first chapter to setting Burnette up as a grave threat to Jeannette, only for them to... disappear. Completely. Which makes their existence feel as if it was nothing more than plot device to put the two characters together — leading me to where I would've had the story go.
Make Burnette actually exist. Give them a role in the story beyond a plot device. Set-up scenes where they meet with Eddy, form a partnership wherein they give up all the information they have about Jeannette, thus making the build-up towards the climax more satisfying. Additionally, add more time both before and after Jeanne's meeting with Eddy to sufficiently build all the characters' motivations.
Onto the ending itself. Keep everything basically the same, just without Jeannette being so uncharacteristically inept. What this leads to is, rather than her charging suicidally into Eddy and his goons, we get to see a bit of what we saw in the first chapter: Jeannette being a badass — slowly taking down the guards one by one until a final climactic confrontation with Eddy, wherein the story then parallels the event leading to the heroines' initial meeting. Just before she deals the final blow, Jeannette's carelessness once again gets the better of her. Missing one of the goons, they appear from behind, intent on killing her — except Jeanne steps in the way, taking the bullet for her.
In a fit of rage, Jeannette kills Eddy and the remaining goon and carries a gravely injured Jeanne back to her apartment. Their roles are reversed. Now it's Jeannette's turn to nurse Jeanne back to health. Their dreams can't come true just yet, however, as the first part of the story closes with Burnette's arrival, forcing them to flee for their lives with assassins in tow.
Not only does this open up the story for a continuation, but it is, in my opinion, a more satisfying ending than the one written.
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Tutorial on How to torture your heart:
Read living will over and over again
Read living will over and over again
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This had SO MUCH potential to be a tear jerking tragedy. The problem? It's too short, the characters & the plot are not fleshed out enough, no one had enough time to develop properly. About 30 to 50 chapters more and this could have been a slow burn romance with lots of tragic undertones + the inevitable sad ending.
The art, the plot premise and the characters were all good; sadly the execution was lacking. I didn't get enough time to empathize with the characters which in turn makes me read the ending with a deadpan facial expression X'DD
The art, the plot premise and the characters were all good; sadly the execution was lacking. I didn't get enough time to empathize with the characters which in turn makes me read the ending with a deadpan facial expression X'DD
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WEAK ASS ENDING
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It may be that I get inmersed into a story way too easily but I cried through the whole final chapter, I thought this was a great story, just that it could be longer
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I am now dad. A bit brisk and disjointed but overall solid read.
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