"Did you forget that you're the descendant of your's truly, the Great Dream Demon?"
This is a typo, it should be 'yours'.
'You should be able to get straight in if you've already intruded the target before'
'intruded into' or 'invaded'
'let's put some photo next to your bed'
photos
'Don't take photos any photos!'
extra 'photos'?
'this is the door that no dark clan could ever open'
there should probably be a 'member' in there