Migawari de Totsuida Reikoku Kokuou wa Hatsukoi Aitedeshita - Ch. 3

[KoDiWulf]

and we STILL don't know why she rejected him. come on...

Women ☕

 

[halcer]

ooooh a MC that's actually decisive within a reasonable time period?!

 

[ARealCoolGuy]

"Can you tell me why the king is called Cruel Wolf?"
"Can you shoulder his burden"
That didn't answer anything!
I get it's hinting at why he's perceived cruelly, but this is totally dodging the question, and she seems to just accept it.

 

[Madologist]

Feel free to skip reading this. It's just me discussing writing in general and not this story specifically. And I am in agreement, enjoy it if that stuff is right in your alley.

I understand the effort it takes to properly do your worldbuilding, ensure your characters are consistent and to properly outline your plot and the end goal you're aiming for. I will say, personally, the most difficult thing to write is dialogue because you need to have it flow naturally, consistently with the personalities of each character involved, not force things unnaturally to get to the result you want, and also not have excessive dialogue that is unnecessary for the story. Characterization and small talk is fine, but it should still ultimately serve to provide additional information in a natural manner that helps to either fuel up the personal dramas, advance relationships, expand worldbuilding, set up future consequences and/or advance the plot.

In general, I have a personal belief that you can utilize some contrivances, some pulled it out of your ass deus ex thing to set something up. But if you're aiming at a well written story, you are also required to heavily limit how often you rely on it.

In the case of Isekai stories. I view it as the premise of an isekai itself being an ass pull. You engaged in something that already sets someone up into a specific circumstance with a specific start for your story that is literally a deus ex machina. You can then work backwards to it, to explain how this happened and make it fit and work within the world building, bring it into relevancy into the main storyline as well. This typically happens because we usually want something close to in media res, where we start off the action with a bang. If we worked forward from the world building to determine how the isekai would function, that would also work but it would be a slow burn right off the bat. It could work very well, but it would require a lot more effort to maintain the attention and investment of the reader.

So generally, that one ass pull of the base premise of Isekai is something I accept and can see being used for both the benefit of the writer and the reader. But beyond that initial ass pull, that the reader has already signed up for due to the Isekai genre. The more ass pulls you take to set up your story by force. The less engaging it becomes. The more it becomes a string of tropes. The less you need to engage intellectually into how you see the story advancing based on the characters, their circumstances and the world they're in.

The lower effort stories are typically what you see collectively refered to as trash. And most people understand that and even enjoy it, ironically or unironically. It is a theme park ride, and maybe we have a few nuggets of gold in there.

I think a big issue with this world, is that some random (sure it's a duke, but still) aristocrat can hire a mage, who can casually summon someone from another world. So that means, there could be hundreds of mages doing this all over the world constantly. Shouldn't the world be filled with scizotech, as the various otherworlders bring up new ideas that are either badly or well implemented and so on. Heh, maybe this world is set in that one isekai story, where they commit 1000 annual summonings...
Usually you avoid these kind of issues, by having the summoning be a once in a lifetime event or requires the Super ArchSage and even then is life threatening or the caster dies or whatever. Essentially, make it something that is difficult to pull off by the world and is relatively unique. I bet that this summoning magic doesn't make a second appearance in the series, outside of introducing one or two otherworlders, when the author ran out of ideas to continue the series.

 

[sanctuary]

This feels like a slowburn, i dont know if its a real slowburn but i hate komi-san shit type mangas.

they're pretty much married and it hasn't been 5ch, komislop had 30 times as much before any meaningful development

 

[ScryedParadox]

I think a big issue with this world, is that some random (sure it's a duke, but still) aristocrat can hire a mage, who can casually summon someone from another world. So that means, there could be hundreds of mages doing this all over the world constantly. Shouldn't the world be filled with scizotech, as the various otherworlders bring up new ideas that are either badly or well implemented and so on. Heh, maybe this world is set in that one isekai story, where they commit 1000 annual summonings...
Usually you avoid these kind of issues, by having the summoning be a once in a lifetime event or requires the Super ArchSage and even then is life threatening or the caster dies or whatever. Essentially, make it something that is difficult to pull off by the world and is relatively unique. I bet that this summoning magic doesn't make a second appearance in the series, outside of introducing one or two otherworlders, when the author ran out of ideas to continue the series.

Imagine if this never gets addressed and then 20 chapters later or so, after the author has run out of ideas on how to generate drama and tension and will they/won't they, that they decide to just introduce another otherworlder who was a stalker or secret admirer or someone who was turned down by her and suddenly we have an otherworlder focused messy love triangle.

Well, no clue what the author will do. But the holes left leaves the option for this kind of stuff. It's why making sure you tighten up your world building is essential. Unless you actively want to make use of all the holes you built for yourself, but then the story lacks any solid foundation for people to stand upon and invest themselves into. It just becomes popcorn entertainment. Which has it's place. So it really depends on what the author wants to do. Who knows. I have no clue who the author is, maybe this story is just them doing a no thinking writing for kicks and just relieving stress and it eventually got picked up. Maybe it's one of their early works and they're new to writing and they're still learning.

 

[HAt_Sauce234]

ooooh a MC that's actually decisive within a reasonable time period?!

Funny you say that when she's literally characterised by her indecision (rejecting her crush despite being in love with them)

 

[RamenRider]

Kidnapping, extortion, death threats. That noble family really should be in some serious trouble for that, so if the ML can’t just execute them and the wizard for that then there must be something stopping him. Perhaps he requires a noble marriage or summoned people are not thought of that highly since the nobles clearly didn’t fear her popping out with a strong cheat skill.

The other issue mentioned earlier by somebody else is that summoning being available this easily implies far more about the world building, but it could easily be explained by us not being narcissistic for a moment and assuming our world is the only one or that we aren’t a rare capture. The nobles didn’t seem to know what Japanese was which would be common knowledge in most settings where isekai are common so I do not think Japanese are normally what get summoned.

The sheer level of coincidence (exact doppelgänger from the same world who the prince/king has as his love) here makes me wonder if the summoning spell’s criteria are based upon need with the need at this time being a person who can replace the duke’s daughter. If they operate according to need as the criteria then people from earth are unlikely to show up whenever they try to summon a swordsman of some sort. The spell would prioritize already trained people and a regular old mage might not be worth paying to get a bunch fo cheap slaves/farmers.

 

[ryuumajin]

Oh, the end already?

 

[Madologist]

they operate according to need as the criteria then people from earth are unlikely to show up whenever they try to summon a swordsman of some sort. The spell would prioritize already trained people and a regular old mage might not be worth paying to get a bunch fo cheap slaves/farmers.

Summon a samurai~🎶

 

[Chucholain]

This feels like a slowburn, i dont know if its a real slowburn but i hate komi-san shit type mangas.

No one is forcing you to read but i guess its a good heads up for people who also dont like slow paced series

Anyways,the art is great and story is decent, dont like the idea that this might be a monthly series since manga with this quality of art usually is monthly

I wonder how old is ML in this world since MC is 28 y/o before she got summoned, aristocracy in the olden times usually get engaged early age so ML might be really young compared to MC

 

[Kanuan19]

No one is forcing you to read but i guess its a good heads up for people who also dont like slow paced series

Anyways,the art is great and story is decent, dont like the idea that this might be a monthly series since manga with this quality of art usually is monthly

I wonder how old is ML in this world since MC is 28 y/o before she got summoned, aristocracy in the olden times usually get engaged early age so ML might be really young compared to MC

I already dropped this, not like some people that post a worse hate comment and still keep reading so your first line is unnecessary.

 

[Al_Azif]

That was so hard wasn't it? You're given a second chance and second guessing yourself is dumb.

 

[Xtrmis]

Ohhhh my GOD...!!!??? BRUDA IS DID SHE HIT HER HEAD AS A KID, Fym "I don't even know if he feels the same, Maybe he thinks We're just freinds" BRUTHA HE LITERALLY PROPOSED YOU FOR MARRIAGE BRUTHA

 

[cryum]

Y'know. Looking at this story and working backward to the original premise of why she was summoned. The family who summoned her seems like they have a death wish. They summon a stranger of unknown upbringing, they can't guarantee she wouldn't commit any faux pas, they don't train her, they don't teach her, they just send her without a care in the world. If it wasn't a guy who would fall head over heel for her, she would rapidly and easily commit multiple actions that would normally not be considered Quirky and Charming, but rather dishonorable and unbecoming of nobility, uncouth, uneducated and an insult to the royalty.

If it wasn't for the complete ass pull coincidence that the guy who loves her died and reincarnated as king, this substitution would not only put her in dire danger, but also the family that summoned her, which after being insulted by the inability to prepare a bride befitting royalty and the norms of noble etiquette, the plot of substitution would likely eventually come to light when investigating whoever taught her manner to see where the actions of reprimand would need to go, and they would likely be put to death for attempting to shirk their duties as well and the attempt at deception of royalty.

The best case I can make is that they expected the king to reject her quickly without researching into why she was so ignorant. It would be a hit to the daughter's reputation, but not a lot for the house itself. Maybe they'll even play up the daughter was "afraid of the king" and couldn't perform.

Which is not as bad as refusing a King's order to field an army, I GUESS.