I feel like Korean, Chinese, and Thai comics do a much better job discussing societal issues around homosexuality than Japanese comics. It may feel a little clunky by Western standards sometimes, but at least they appear to be having the conversation in popular culture. Not universally of course, but the vast majority of Japanese comics seem to gloss over this kind of thing, at least in Yuri. Admittedly though, I don’t read much Yaoi, so I wouldn’t know how it is in that genre.
Also, I feel your pain. My s/o pulls this kind of shit on me. She’s old enough to know better 🙄