>shitty cleans
"Shit scans for shit people" was at the top of the first page, my guy.
>missing bubbles
Literally one bubble that read "は・・・ははは・・・", but fair point.
>raw MTL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
This is the second time Chiharu's full name has come up, I think. First time for Minami though.
On pg. 2 dialogue:
You're wrong, so let me show you where you're wrong.
Raw: 貸しのつもりが借りって事か?報われねぇな。 // いつかあなたが本当の目的を果たす時にまとめて返すわ。たからお願い。 // 了解した
Literal: You owing me has become me owing you? (My efforts) aren't rewarded. // Someday, when you (put effort toward/try) accomplish your true goal, I will repay you. So please. // Roger that.
Theirs: You're already in my debt, and you want another favor? You must be joking? // When it's time for you to bring about your objectives, I'll be sure to repay the favour. So please. // Alright, I'll hold you to it.
Mine: So now I owe you a favor? Some thanks this is. // I'll gladly repay my debt to you when you work toward your true goal. So please. // Roger that.
In this case, their translation is just wrong. Like, come on.
Also, in doing this chapter, I noticed that they have a habit of over-writing dialogue. Some people are okay with this, but I'm not. Plus, they're often unnatural or just plain grammatically incorrect. This sorta shit happens when the TL is also the Proofreader is also the Quality Checker (which is the same in my case, but I'm also better at English).
Below are some free examples because I can't sleep:
Pg.1, panel 3
Raw: それを言うなら・・・あなたこそなぜあのファイルを私に?
Lit: If that's what you're going to say... Why did you (give) me the file?
Theirs: If you really want to know... Can I ask, why did you give me that folder back then?
Mine: If that's what you're going with... why did you get those files to me?"
I leaned a little too literally here, but it still works.
Pg.1, panel 4
Raw: CATTがまさか本当に「演出」で矛を収めるとはね・・・
Lit: CATT surprisingly because it was a "performance" sheathed their swords (withdraw)...
Theirs: I've never expected CATT to react the way they did, and withdrew all of their operational assets subsequently...
Mine: I didn't expect C.A.T.T. to accept that it was just a "part of the act" and withdraw.
"operational assets subsequently"? Nowhere in the raws.
Pg. 1, panel 6
Raw: あなたの狙いは詮索しないけど・・・少なくとも組織に対して従順な立場ではない事は分かる。
Lit: (I won't) inquire into your goal, but... I know at least you are not in a loyal position to the organization.
Theirs: All I know, is that you aren't the type who will fully comply with CATT's directives.
Mine: But I at least understand that you're not entirely loyal to the organization.
CATT wasn't directly named in this panel, and "directives" weren't mentioned at all.
You can like my version if you want. Or not. I really don't care, but don't go saying their scripts are better than mine when that's blatantly false.
I'll give them a point for getting ジモティー though. I've literally never heard that term before and didn't Google it because I thought it was Valentine's disguise's alias or something.