My Dear Lass - Vol. 6 Ch. 76

[MangaDex]

 

[Grimm_Salem]

love the last page, every one is acting normal but he’s the one freaking out

 

[winterume]

the realisation of hes the snowflake

 

[MentalQueen]

bruhhh go take 10 your homophobia is showiiiiing

 

[King_julien]

Thank you for the translation!

 

[flowsthead]

I'm not going to make excuses for the dad he's a piece of shit, however I do think this is a great example of generational, or at least cultural, trauma. Like that's how much the one child policy fucked them up. Mu Xiaoen's grandparents would have rather she died, they threatened to kill themselves if her dad didn't divorce her mom just for having a girl. As shitty as the dad is, this is not just him. This is a general societal issue of valuing women and femininity so much less than men. It's the kind of shit that traumatizes people down the line of their descendants for generations to come.

 

[PixelCrow12]

What a devastating chapter... My comment from chapter 73 turned out right but I now feel that the narrative went even further than what I previously though, which I think is really brave from the author.

The narrative doesn't seem to take an easy way out and present a single individual (the father) as the villain and the source of all trouble for the other characters. Yes, the father is an antagonist but even he appears to have been the "victim" (I don't know how I feel about being this charitable towards this twat) of the real antagonist of this story, tradition and the fucked up culture these people were all raised in. In this chapter we found out that it was actually the parents-in-law who wanted Xaoen gone the most even going so far as to threaten to kill themselves (what the actual fuck btw!?!?!) if the father didn't divorce the wife for giving him a girl. Father actually stood by his wife despite all the abuse he had to endure (although, again, don't wanna give him too much credit) but he probably started resenting Xiaoen because it. Or he resented her from the beginning, but again, he resented her because he was brought up in the culture that heavily favored male children over female children (for more info, you can research femicide in China that goes back 2000 years).

Hongqin (mom) did perpetuate patriarchy but she didn't do it because she agreed with it, but because she was a woman and that meant that she had to submit. She didn't care that Xiaoen was a girl but she knew that she would never be able to provide her with happy life, especially after they move away and she loses seemingly the only support network she had. In her mind, she also never really had a choice. Niu (father) saved her life, he stood by her against his parents and was abused for it. She couldn't do it to him. In the end, she was forced to make a decision and she made the hardest decision a parent could make, thinking it was the right choice because the new family would be able to give Xiaoen the life she never could. Hongqin encapsulates all this better than this comment ever could with a poingnant statement: "Although If I could choose, I've thought before... That I would rather choose to have not ever been a woman in the first place."

I'm glad that Hongqin didn't just stand up but stood up hard. She didn't just stand up for her child, she stood up for her self, realizing that this was the right decision all along. She thought that submitting would be better for everyone so she did, but the system upheld by tradition and bigotry was threatening to take another child from her. Submitting to it was never the answer but opposing it is hard and scary and most people are not strong enough to do it.

Anyways, good for Hongqin for standing up for herself and her daughters. What's enough is enough. She should devorce that bigoted wanker and move to Peachtown to be with her daughter, try to repair her relationship with the other one and to reconnect with her friends. Bless these women and the father can go to hell!

 

[Marsbar2121]

Get with the times, old man. People are allowed to be who they want to be. So happy that the wife said divorce was the only option. TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

 

[TheOverTaker]

Yes, the father is an antagonist but even he appears to have been the "victim" (I don't know how I feel about being this charitable towards this twat) of the real antagonist of this story, tradition and the fucked up culture these people were all raised in.

I think it's good to recognize the context he was raised in, as you said. Understanding is not forgiving.
Knowing the why of people's shortcomings helps us cope with our own struggles caused by them, but as much as we can know it's still something that hurt us deeply.

Our older generations have lived life in pretty rough circumstances, and most times it's truly a shame that they end up doing things they do. But nothing will change that they did. The only thing left is for those involved to decide to forgive or not. It's not a given, and it's okay if you don't want to forgive.
Not knowing the "Why" could haunt you, you will feel better with your decision once you get a rough idea of that "Why".

At least, that's what I think.

 

[onedumninja]

What an awful cultural attitude towards women's existence

Even being born male isn't enough for the cruel old beliefs. They (she?, unsure of their pronouns) gotta be masc or they're "mentally ill."

One child policy was a plague on their society

 

[outinthegardener]

Well that was absolutely heartbreaking. I wonder if this dad is going to get with the times, or if he's gonna ultimatum himself into a lonely retirement. Does he even know how to cook?

 

[Kitsune_115]

Ugh tough read
She was indeed too late.

 

[artificialicecream]

thank you for the translation !

 

[TheRealDrMcCoy]

if the father didn't divorce the wife for giving him a girl.

The funny thing is that it's the sperm that determines the sex of the fetus

 

[Broken25]

In this chapter we found out that it was actually the parents-in-law who wanted Xaoen gone the most even going so far as to threaten to kill themselves (what the actual fuck btw!?!?!)

Using threats of suicide as a means of coercion has a long and storied history in China.

Qing legal cases show that men took women’s threats of suicide very seriously. In this case, Xia Shi’s specific threat to die at the house of any man who presumed to interfere with her domestic arrangements amounted to a threat to curse that man and his household, to ruin their fortune and haunt them in perpetuity. Suicide was a weapon of the weak, to be sure, but desperate women did sometimes “stage” suicides in a manner calculated to bring calamity to those who had off ended them. For example, I have seen many cases with the following scenario: a woman who had been sexually harassed or raped by a fellow villager was unable to persuade the men in her family to do anything about it, because of the shame that publicity would bring; in the end, she crept out at night and committed suicide at the house of her tormenter—usually by hanging herself from a tree or even a roof beam of the house itself. Such an act had terrifying implications for those who were its target—and, as a practical matter, it guaranteed publicity and an investigation into the off ensive behavior that had provoked the suicide.

This is a quite important piece of cultural context, because when the parents-in-law threaten to kill themselves, there is an unspoken addendum of "and then our angry ghosts will curse you forever".

 

[Gothic_Catalyst]

Thank you for the chapter.

 

[nyannibalism]

thanks for the translation!!!

fuck, i dont know what to say

 

[Daedalus1701]

I love how the author is using this medium to speak out against the cultural norm of China. I just wish it wasn't so harsh that they have to bury the message so deep in the scripting to get it by censors!

That being said, the come to Jesus moment for the father was just brilliant! Mom basically said accept BOTH my children or GTFO!!!!

 

[MacinteuchPlus]

I can't recall the last time I've read transphobia and family abuse tackled this directly in such a raw gut punching way, this manhua really cements itself as one of the greatest