My Life With Amelia - Ch. 21 - Amelia on her best behaviour

[MangaDex]

 

[AzureLightning]

I expect a lot of things but a DUI wasn't one of them.

 

[cowofjustice]

Oh.

 

[chojinra]

This is going to be Jessica Jones rough, isn’t it.

I did have another example, but I’ll leave that for less proper company.

 

[NLDutchie]

Oh... oh no... Sweet baby girl please no...

 

[razorshaleh]

hhmmmmm.... SUS look

 

[MarcoMook]

Oh this is going to be one of those things where a character blames themselves without good reason, right?

Oh. Oh no. It's so fucking rare for the self-loathing to be justified.

 

[Superpeanut]

…. Ah. I see. Yeah, that would mess you up for life. Her driving back and getting in a wreck would be hard to ever get past. But having done it after drinking…

I still suspect it won’t be as simple as “she was drinking”. I’m guessing either the brother is goofing off and distracts her, or someone swerves, something like that. I’d expect something like “she blames herself but it’s clear something else happened too, making it less in her control”.

 

[SUSmaster274329]

Oh this is going to be one of those things where a character blames themselves without good reason, right?

Oh. Oh no. It's so fucking rare for the self-loathing to be justified.

Self loathing can't really be judged on whether it's justified or not in this manner. It's perfectly understandable that the act of drinking might make it more her fault or push the situation into the grey area or even over to it being absolutely her fault, depending on how the rest of it went.

It might be that she collided with another driver that was also under the influence or driving recklessly, she might've really not had very much alcohol and been under the legal limit, she might've been distracted like another commenter pointed out. Before we judge whether it was her fault or not it's good to have all the facts.
People will find any reason to blame themselves in situations where they believe they should've been in control, but that isn't always the case even if you're doing everything right. If a person as young as her was actually completely at fault we still can't say that she should loathe herself so much or that it's a good thing.

What I'm trying to say is that as far as we know she is the only person to live with the consequences of this incident and saying it's her fault or that her self loathing is a good or appropriate thing isn't really the case with situations where the person wasn't acting with malice.
This situation is more of the 'wrong place wrong time' with some negligence sprinkled in, which isn't really surprising since she was young and her risk managing isn't fully developed, not excusing it but saying that with the remorse she feels being far beyond what she deserves it's not fair to blame her as an observer.
To add to this if her self loathing motivated her to do something good like advocating for safe driving, organising an AA group to help prevent incidents like this happening again or studying to be a doctor so she might be able to save someone. In that case it would be a good thing since it brought more good. However her role in the accident is so far unconfirmed and she didn't have any malice in mind as well as her age means it isn't fair to say it's justified.

To be clear you might also hold this position and just didn't want to type it all out, or you might mean that it would be hard to argue for her not being at fault to her specifically, as she is most definitively biased and her blame won't be entirely logical. I just felt I needed to write my thoughts out on this since it's a complex subject and I felt your wording wasn't sufficient. No hate just wanted to write it down somewhere.

 

[OSAITUS]

I did not expect this to suddenly turn into a PSA!

Buckle up! (no, really do it, it will save your life), we have a bumpy road ahead (and for the love of everything, don´t drink and drive, no one has ever been cool for doing so and there is never a "once in a life time" drink)

 

[BKNY_STEVE]

The Long Island Iced Tea. The most evil drink ever. My baby.... 😟

 

[Sugarbeef]

That's an easy way to kill sympathy for a character.

 

[HelioCesar]

I expect a lot of things but a DUI wasn't one of them.

I bet there was a deer shaped bump in the road!

 

[HelioCesar]

being serious now, my bet is that the author will use an external source for the accident that tries to undoubtably take the blame away from her, but because she did drink before driving, she will blame herself as the whole and sole culprit.
Lets just hope its not plain straight DUI, because that would really take almost all sympatty away from her current struggle.
Not saying that she must suffer forever if that was the case, she does seem to be a good natured person, its just such a stupid thing to do that i personally can't ever condone.
Could be a bait tho, lets see what the author cooks.

 

[MrTurtleMan]

did anyone else notice how big the hands on the drunk co-worker were? The glass also had weird proportions.

 

[SUSmaster274329]

being serious now, my bet is that the author will use an external source for the accident that tries to undoubtably take the blame away from her, but because she did drink before driving, she will blame herself as the whole and sole culprit.
Lets just hope its not plain straight DUI, because that would really take almost all sympatty away from her current struggle.
Not saying that she must suffer forever if that was the case, she does seem to be a good natured person, its just such a stupid thing to do that i personally can't ever condone.
Could be a bait tho, lets see what the author cooks.

Even with the context from the newest chapter I disagree with you on whether a DUI resulting in casualties should eliminate all sympathy. She is a teenager, on the younger side, and although she should still be held responsible for her actions, that does mean we can't judge her as we would an adult. The risk assessment centres of the brain are quite underdeveloped at that age, and the remorse and high degree of self-loathing should be enough to earn back sympathy.

If you have personal experience with a family member or other close person dying or being severely injured as a result and therefor can't have sympathy I understand. Emotions aren't really a thing you can control in cases like that. However if you believe all cases that fall under the same legal definitions deserve the same lack of sympathy then I will have to disagree.

Any person can end up in any situation and everyone is equally capable of making the same mistakes or committing the same horrible acts that anyone else has can or has. The likelihood might drop based on known information about the individual, but it's never impossible.

Every immoral act is redeemable in my opinion, how much atonement is needed will vary and might even be impossible within a humans lifetime, but it is still redeemable IMO. Therefor I won't judge even in cases of clear wrongdoing and resulting harm being extreme. I implore you to do the same, although I would never say you need to forgive or have sympathy for someone.

 

[HelioCesar]

Even with the context from the newest chapter I disagree with you on whether a DUI resulting in casualties should eliminate all sympathy. She is a teenager, on the younger side, and although she should still be held responsible for her actions, that does mean we can't judge her as we would an adult. The risk assessment centres of the brain are quite underdeveloped at that age, and the remorse and high degree of self-loathing should be enough to earn back sympathy.

If you have personal experience with a family member or other close person dying or being severely injured as a result and therefor can't have sympathy I understand. Emotions aren't really a thing you can control in cases like that. However if you believe all cases that fall under the same legal definitions deserve the same lack of sympathy then I will have to disagree.

Any person can end up in any situation and everyone is equally capable of making the same mistakes or committing the same horrible acts that anyone else has can or has. The likelihood might drop based on known information about the individual, but it's never impossible.

Every immoral act is redeemable in my opinion, how much atonement is needed will vary and might even be impossible within a humans lifetime, but it is still redeemable IMO. Therefor I won't judge even in cases of clear wrongdoing and resulting harm being extreme. I implore you to do the same, although I would never say you need to forgive or have sympathy for someone.

I respect your opinion and consider myself a forgiving person, especially for people who are not guilty of what they did.

But I don't approve of the idea that just because someone is relatively young, they have a certain leniency. I personally understood from a young age that my actions had consequences and that I have to bear them, and I believe that most young people do too, if they are held accountable and treated with such seriousness.

I didn't mean to imply that she doesn't deserve forgiveness, only that this action is so stupid that the remorse she feels now would be justifiable, and it's something she should constantly face head-on in order to find meaning in her life, as these are the results of her actions and the burden she has to carry.

I personally don't consume any substances that could directly affect my reasoning ability because of the value I place on taking actions with full awareness. So, choosing to ingest such a substance and still choosing to drive is, for me, an action that is never justifiable.

 

[SUSmaster274329]

I respect your opinion and consider myself a forgiving person, especially for people who are not guilty of what they did.

But I don't approve of the idea that just because someone is relatively young, they have a certain leniency. I personally understood from a young age that my actions had consequences and that I have to bear them, and I believe that most young people do too, if they are held accountable and treated with such seriousness.

I didn't mean to imply that she doesn't deserve forgiveness, only that this action is so stupid that the remorse she feels now would be justifiable, and it's something she should constantly face head-on in order to find meaning in her life, as these are the results of her actions and the burden she has to carry.

I personally don't consume any substances that could directly affect my reasoning ability because of the value I place on taking actions with full awareness. So, choosing to ingest such a substance and still choosing to drive is, for me, an action that is never justifiable.

You do need to have a certain leniency fro younger people. A minor can’t be held accountable to the same degree as a fully functioning adult. The human brain matures very slowly and risk assessment as well as the ability to understand consequences isn’t very good.

That doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be held accountable, just not to the same degree.

You can say that you and many younger people have the ability to understand consequences, but it’s not that simple. You can explain to a very young person that they shouldn’t do something and they can understand, however the part of your brain that makes decisions quickly and subconsciously can’t take that into account effectively at younger ages.

It’s not about it being justifiable or not, it’s about how much a person can be reasonably held responsible for the consequences depending on how equipped they were to understand them when they made the choice.

I want to reiterate I do NOT think that someone older should take full accountability while someone younger should take none. I am saying that a person who might not be able to understand consequences subconsciously won’t be able to take accountability effectively either.