Na neun Amy reul Saranghae - Ch. 29 - Camilla and Amy (4)

[quorramoon]

It was actually a mutual feeling AHHHHHH it's confusing

 

[Donirexian]

I'm pretty sure Amy saying that she liked Camila was her way of trying to trick herself into thinking she liked her (that didn't work), hence the repetition. She doesn't like her at all, which is why she believes she's a bad person and that lead to their falling out.

 

[silverpetricof]

I felt for Science Guy he was alright. Outside of that one comment about Amy being gloomy and boring (which I'll just chalk up to just him not getting the right words out and being nervous in front of his crush) he was pretty cool people. Amy sure was assuming some pretty unsavory things about him based on this singular conservation. And that, quite frankly, was not cool of her at her. Her issues and her past aren't good excuses either.

Thanks for the translation.

 

[themanthemyth]

tfw amy will never hold your arm.... why even live /b/ros???!?/??/

 

[looc64]

It's also interesting to point out how different between Camillia and Bibi eventhough they're both popular kind of girls. Camillia has been friend with Amy her whole life but can't tell what is Amy biggest fear so she takes it so lightly without notice. Bibi only met Amy for a couple months but could help Amy avoid that fear because she knew that's what Amy fear the most. Understandable considering how both of their family life are so different too

I mean I think the reasons that Bibi was able to get a handle on Amy's trauma so quickly are bad? Like she dragged Amy kicking and screaming into her car and kept driving home while Amy had a panic attack until she passed out, and then didn't wake Amy up even though her aunt was calling. And then later she tracked down an article about Amy's mom.

Those are sorta ill-gotten gains

 

[splatsoni]

had the same experience once i realized i was bi i felt so disgusted for liking a girl

 

[foxxreader66]

Poor Amy and poor Camilla for being left in the dark!! Aunt instilled fear in Amy to not turn out like her mother, she has a broken family and a stressful life so to have a best friend who has everything you could ever want all the time must be so hard and it kills her that she feels this way because she loves Camilla and values her friendship Poor Amy is so broken and can’t do romantic love due to trauma.

Where is the wizard psychiatrist that we’ll fix every on’s trauma and let there be a loving and happy end?

 

[kny793]

im so confused

 

[Sakuma0]

for god sake, it is always about romance for some people, disgusting

 

[Kartonrealista]

Joy is straight up an abuser. Just because you're traumatized doesn't give you the license to treat your niece like that

 

[avmc]

Joy is straight up an abuser. Just because you're traumatized doesn't give you the license to treat your niece like that

It's Joy's own trauma making her act this way, but you're still right, it's no excuse.

Other than that...
Oh my god, Amyyyy 😭

She so wants all the things Camilla easily has, most of all loving parents, and she hates herself being jealous and almost feeling like wishing it was her instead of Camilla

 

[sollasollew]

amy clearly liked camilla platonically. I find it annoying sometimes that some people immediately think of romance just because of two girls with a close connection. I find that somewhat disrespectful. Platonic relationship is not less loving than any labels of love.

 

[wawwal33]

tf is wrong with amy bruh😭🙏

 

[delfigamer]

The science guy turning out to be a genuinely nice guy with no ulterior motives (other than having a crush on Amy) is the best twist the author could have pulled for this character

How is this a twist? There were no signs he was a bad guy, heck, he even got Peter's seal of approval, how can you doubt the guy after that? Your lack of faith in Peter's words is a disappointment to our cult. 😠

 

[nyankittenZ_4life]

I feel bad for the guy, Amy was judging him pretty hard here and was kind of harsh

 

[EchoGirl]

So the reason for their falling out was that Amy had a crush on Camila.. now I'm confused, i thought Amy had a crush on Bibi

Well they had the falling out before Bibi was introduced since the first chapter starts off as 'please be my friend'

 

[RaspberryJamie03]

No it not, why are y'all taking this chapter so WRONG 😭

It's somewhat like a gay awakening chapter, but it's because of the dude, not Camillia.

Amy didn't feel a thing after that dude confession, even went as far as thinking that he needed help just for liking her. So we as viewer can understand that Amy is a true lesbian, this is what not into guys looks like.

Amy likes Camillia AS A FRIEND, as in genuinely PLATONIC like. The situation with the dude, which somewhat happened because Camillia set it up, caused Amy to face the thing she hate the most, her aunty dissapointment, and Camillia acting so carelessly afterward didn't help at all. The whole thing reminded Amy of the feelings she had for Camillia other than like, hatred and jealousy.

"Don't cry, don't cry, it's Camillia birthday" when seeing her happy with a family she wishes she have
"The thing I want the most, you have it so easily"

She had these thought so many that it made her miserable whenever she's with Camillia.

I have to say I agree that this chapter wasn’t about Amy liking Camilla Romantically.
I also wanna add onto the Theory that Amy was Jealous of Camilla. Yes the jealousy over Camilla having a loving parents was definitely helping making Amy miserable, but I think it’s also due to their dynamic.
I can relate to Amy in how she acts and feels around social interaction, and I can speak from experience how EXHAUSTING it can be to be in a relationship like this. We see Camilla dragging Amy through the house not even noticing how uncomfortable Amy was before she fainted. And from Amys POV (this is just my interpretation) she sees how happy her best and only friend is that Amy came with her, yet Camilla doesn’t see her.
It’s a situation where there can’t be two winners.
through Amy’s eyes, Amy is miserable, but at least Camilla is happy,
But if Amy would have stayed home, Amy would have been happy (or well yk, better off), while Camilla would have been the “miserable” one.
Amy gives so much of herself to their friendship, but Camilla doesn’t see it, she wants Amy to give more
(her getting upset that Amy never talked to her, which I guess I can understand where she’s coming from, it’s okay to be worried, but people function differently. I am like Amy in this instance, I don’t talk about my troubles or anything unless someone asks about something specifically. Not because I don’t trust them or bc we’re not close enough, he’ll not even because I don’t want to bother them, I just don’t find the topic relevant, it’s more of a “ok, so?”, and it might be like that for Amy, or it might not)

-and this can absolutely break a friendship, the more you give, the more exhausting it is to be with said friend, despite how much you love them. Until inevitably hanging out with this friend becomes more of a chore than a chance to relax.
(This is not to say that Camilla is solely to blame for this, it takes two people for a friendship to work after all, but if one or both people suspect the other for not putting in a big enough effort, just because they use different methods, the relationship will suffer. Unless they see the problem and work on it)

 

[MelonManic]

If chemicals are spilled on your hands your supposed to get the teacher so they can determine the best course of action, that cloth could potentially make it worse

Fucking nerd

Get a life bro

Someone's jelly
Oh shit she may actually be jelly

Have a nice day on his behalf

 

[Birdo878]

I do not like Amy. Honestly, I never really did like her, but now she's cemented just how much of a selfish cunt she is in this chapter. Several people go out of their way to help her and she responds by worsening the situation and then internally being a huge bitch about it. I dislike her as a person, but I'm still unsure how I feel about her as a character at this point. Bibi is great; Camilla is great; Peter is the goat; Linda is bae; science guy is pretty decent from what we've seen. Amy... I don't feel bad for her.

 

[UdenEmpati]

My read on this is thus:

Amy, through a likely mixture of "nature" and "nurture", is a traumatized introvert who deeply despises herself. Her mother Julia (seemingly) tried to kill her when she was a young child due to her own extensive issues, resulting in deep-set trauma in Amy that manifests in things like a severe and automatic revulsion to cars (namely, being inside one).
Because of this trauma, she is emotionally frail, and lacked any real structure in her formative years in the form of a stable family dynamic, thus further stunting her mental and emotional development. And being raised by her aunt, Joy, who also is suffering from Julia's actions (both known and I believe unknown at this point), Amy was a traumatized child being raised by a traumatized adult, neither of whom seem to have gotten any help in the form of mental healthcare that I have seen.
Joy imposed harsh rules on Amy out of an intense desire to keep her safe, but also projected her own problems with Julie onto Amy--we see that in that one flashback when Amy sits at the counter where Joy is drunk, and Joy tells Amy "never become like your mother, never fall in love". Joy is terrified of Amy turning out like Julie did, and her parenting style reflects this fear-based approach at the most critical time in a child's life who's already starting from behind due to what happened to her before this point.

And now - enter Camilla. Loud, energetic, extroverted, with a mother who is even More So than her. But she's got a mom and a dad, both of whom love her immensely. They go to church, Camilla has friends, she's basically a ball of Sunshine. And she cares about Amy, and desires to be with her constantly.
But she has no frame of reference for Amy as a person. And Amy, who seeks to please everyone around her to ensure harmony and that she doesn't get swept up in problems or upset those around her, never speaks up, always "goes along" with whatever Camilla wants, and is just generally happy to be included.
Over time, she grows attached to Camilla, who always includes and prioritizes Amy. Camilla gets mad on her behalf, spends her spare time with Amy, and tries to always see Amy having fun.
But Amy isn't like her - and their energy and vibe are "night and day" from one another. Camilla doesn't quite get this, and Amy would rather defer or deflect than simply speak her truth.

Now - deep down, Amy sees Camilla's happiness and her loving, "full family" and her sunny disposition and all her friends, and she wants the same. She craves that feeling of what she perceives as "normal and happy", because it's utterly lacking--and she's reminded of it everywhere she goes, in how others speak of her behind her back, in how she's ignored or avoided.
But Camilla remains by her side and is kind to her, so Amy deeply resents that feeling of jealousy she possesses. She quashes it, tells herself to shut it all down and out, and keep the mask up because making Camilla sad is the worst thing Amy can do. Camilla's her only friend; if Amy hurts her, she has no one left. And Amy prioritizes Camilla's comfort over her own, every time. Anything that could inconvenience Camilla, Amy would shoulder that burden on her own in silence.

And it was at this moment at this party that everything comes to a head. Camilla finally verbally requested that Amy join her, and of course, Amy prioritizes Camilla's happiness. But Camilla just assumes Amy will be happy by her side, because she usually is. The difference in setting and context is lost on her here. She's used to this stuff; she's having fun, so Amy must be too, right? Camilla doesn't realize that Amy's suffering, and Amy pays the price with the crossbow dart, and again when Joy catches her talking to the Science Class Boy outside their home.

When Camilla comes to Amy in the morning, she's oblivious to what Amy had gone through - and Amy realizes it at last. She likes Camilla; she's Amy's precious, closest friend. But Amy is so jealous of how easily Camilla gets to live her life, while Amy gets told off and punished just for talking to a boy, and she can't ride in cars without vomiting and passing out, and she gets hurt all the time regardless of how careful she is and everyone makes fun of her behind her back and her mother abandoned her and she's worthless and shy and gloomy and why would Camilla be happy around her and and and

and she asks Camilla to leave, because even if Camilla is mad in this moment, she's got family and friends and everything to fall back on, and she doesn't need Amy. Amy's worthless, Amy will only drag her back and down, and it's better for Camilla to just move on.
And so Amy lashes out and tries to get Camilla to want to walk away.
And Camilla, never understanding, never asking the correct questions, never really seeing Amy for who she is, does.

Amy is a hurt, broken person suffering from trauma inflicted on her and never given a chance to heal. Camilla is her best friend, who sadly never had the requisite perspective or foundation to understand what Amy truly needed, and Amy cared too deeply for Camilla and not enough for herself to try and ask for help.
And when their bond fractured, it was in a moment of anger, and so it couldn't be repaired, as it would require them both to reach out to the other--Camilla could not, and Amy would not.