Ookami wa Tsuki ni Koi wo Suru - Ch. 36

[MangaDex]

 

[KyveCrybaby]

Sweet~~ Not too much drama which me like

 

[blueberryjamwithcrepes]

I'm sorry, there's a solar eclipse happening and they didn't even know it was going to happen?? I drove 10 hours to get to a band of the U.S. where I could see the one in 2024 with plans two weeks in advance and these lucky rats just happen to have one over their heads and their sole response is "wow, that's pretty rare! don't look at it! Haha"?? GIVE ME WHAT YOU HAVE????

very cute chapter though, happy seto got to speak her feelings finally ☺️

 

[erellisae]

Okay, sure, since you asked I'll do this properly.

General Stuff

• Your typesetting is all over the place, way too small in some bubbles, it's impossible to read on my laptop screen let alone on say mobile.
• Your translation is very literal, and this hampers the flow or mulches a lot of context.

Page Specific

2.2 - 'We should do it again sometime. We should do it again sometime.' -> This is a pretty rough error to leave in the open on page 2 that really should have been caught.
2.4 - I don't have the context to know whether this was supposed to be her trailing off into silence or if there was actually text there and Gemini just decided to annihilate it. But if you have time to edit a TN note going 'I don't think this is right' you have time to go back and check it yourself.
3.2 - '[school] was a lot more fun than I expected. It was fun' -> more repetition, so you're probably losing context here in a too-literal translation that isn't getting over what he's trying to say.
3.4 - 'It's okay for the number of important things to increase' -> very JP-specific wording that isn't used in English, probably a literal translation of 大切なもの. 'It's okay to become involved in more things', or 'It's okay to find things important to you', or any other option.
3.6 - 'If you say that, then I'm also...' -> While not necessarily literal, the wonky first clause makes it very hard to parse who's talking here. It would be clearer to go 'Besides, I'm also...' because that makes it more obvious that Seto's the one saying it as a continuation of her argument.
4.1/4.5 - Using 'a person' here makes things feel rigid. Just use 'someone'.
5.1 - This bubble feels off and I can't pick out why. I think what's getting me is the 'And so...'. そして is often used when moving between sections of a story and doesn't necessarily mean 'and so' or really mean anything at all other than showing you're progressing through that story. I'd leave it out, because in English it sounds like she's about to counter her argument when she's not really, she's just continuing her story.
6.1 - 'The person I like is... only Yuga' -> Hilariously mean in English. 'The only person I really like is Yuga'.
[Some ok pages, not much to say here]
11.1 - 'I knew it, I know' -> This feels off.
[...]
17.5 - This feels very unclear. I can tell what he's trying to say, kind of - like his own childlike enthusiasm is a bonus on how upbeat Seto has become, or maybe that Seto is now upbeat enough that he doesn't have to refer to her with that name anymore and can go back to a closer one - but it's kind of gotten mulched.
18.2 - 'From now on, I want you to be Sato' -> I'm assuming that a) this is supposed to be Seto and b) that Seto doesn't want Yuuga to change his name so it should probably be 'From now on, I want to be Sato' but who needs to ever double check who might be talking in a given speech bubble?
19.1 - 'For me' -> Very JP-specific formulation that you probably wouldn't say in English here. 'As for me' would be more appropriate but I'd just switch it with 'I' or ... whatever other contraction I guess.
CR - 'Tell me if I did a mistake' -> 'Tell me if I made a mistake'

This took half an hour to do. It doesn't take much to read back over what you've done and look through it for obvious mistakes or things that sound wrong. I realize (from the credits page) that you might be ESL and that's fine, but I do advise getting a native speaker to look over it.

 

[ImNotYonzu]

Okay, sure, since you asked I'll do this properly.

General Stuff

• Your typesetting is all over the place, way too small in some bubbles, it's impossible to read on my laptop screen let alone on say mobile.
• Your translation is very literal, and this hampers the flow or mulches a lot of context.
• Many of the below errors are just lazy. You're not interested in making a good or even average product, you're interested in shitting out an ML translation.

Page Specific

2.2 - 'We should do it again sometime. We should do it again sometime.' -> Copyediting is the process of revising written material to improve quality and readability, ensuring that a text is free of errors in grammar and style, and also to make sure you can properly sell your snipe as actually caring about the manga so you don't come off like you're just looking to garner clout. This is a pretty rough error to leave in the open on page 2.
2.4 - I don't have the context to know whether this was supposed to be her trailing off into silence or if there was actually text there and Gemini just decided to annihilate it. But if you have time to edit a TN note going 'I don't think this is right' you have time to go back and check it yourself.
3.2 - '[school] was a lot more fun than I expected. It was fun' -> more repetition, so you're probably losing context here in a too-literal translation that isn't getting over what he's trying to say.
3.4 - 'It's okay for the number of important things to increase' -> very JP-specific wording that isn't used in English, probably a literal translation of 大切なもの. 'It's okay to become involved in more things', or 'It's okay to find things important to you', or any other option.
3.6 - 'If you say that, then I'm also...' -> While not necessarily literal, the wonky first clause makes it very hard to parse who's talking here. It would be clearer to go 'Besides, I'm also...' because that makes it more obvious that Seto's the one saying it as a continuation of her argument.
4.1/4.5 - Using 'a person' here makes things feel rigid. Just use 'someone'.
5.1 - This bubble feels off and I can't pick out why. I think what's getting me is the 'And so...'. そして is often used when moving between sections of a story and doesn't necessarily mean 'and so' or really mean anything at all other than showing you're progressing through that story. I'd leave it out, because in English it sounds like she's about to counter her argument when she's not really, she's just continuing her story.
6.1 - 'The person I like is... only Yuga' -> Hilariously mean in English. 'The only person I really like is Yuga'.
[Some ok pages, not much to say here]
11.1 - 'I knew it, I know' -> This feels off.
[...]
17.5 - This feels very unclear. I can tell what he's trying to say, kind of - like his own childlike enthusiasm is a bonus on how upbeat Seto has become, or maybe that Seto is now upbeat enough that he doesn't have to refer to her with that name anymore and can go back to a closer one - but it's kind of gotten mulched.
18.2 - 'From now on, I want you to be Sato' -> I'm assuming that a) this is supposed to be Seto and b) that Seto doesn't want Yuuga to change his name so it should probably be 'From now on, I want to be Sato' but who needs to ever double check who might be talking in a given speech bubble?
19.1 - 'For me' -> Very JP-specific formulation that you probably wouldn't say in English here. 'As for me' would be more appropriate but I'd just switch it with 'I' or ... whatever other contraction I guess.
CR - 'Tell me if I did a mistake' -> 'Tell me if I made a mistake'

This took half an hour to do. It doesn't take much to read back over what you've done and look through it for obvious mistakes or things that sound wrong. I realize (from the credits page) that you might be ESL and that's fine, but I do advise getting a native speaker to look over it.

Thanks,I'll take it in consideration!
I'll be honest this was my first translation,I was using IbisPaint(cl) and capcut(type settings) and it took me 9-10 hours.(The second time it took me 5-6 hours)(Maybe the reason because it too soo long was because I couldn't find a ai that wasn't hallucinating(all of the others responded with a official translation of a completely unrelated manga))
Back then I didn't think that it will be any errors and uploaded it to the site(mangapark- 1-2 months ago).(After uploading it there I needed to edit it because of some errors 5 times)
For the many grammar problem I only know a little japanese that is the reason I've used ai(Gemini) soo maybe that was the issue.
At that time(2 months ago)I've uploaded it because I just didn't like that the new translation group(Ryu manga) had approximately all the series on pay wall and they didn't even translate all of them and they didn't even update weekly the series(they only updated the series twice in 3 months,when it was weekly)and because of how it was treated I've decided translate it with the little I know.I'm sorry if it wasn't the best!

 

[Magnus_Prime]

Ironically...

"...did a mistake..." -> "...made a mistake..."

sorry.

 

[Friendly-Sentence710]

Sweet home Yokohama.