But as my age goes higher and higher, the sooner it feels like I have to accept the reality that I won't be able to have those kinds of experiences or feelings. I kinda feel like an incel. Or maybe I already am one and I just don't realize it yet?
It moves me that somebody was able to relate to and understand their own feelings thanks to this story, and realize what became a reality for them.
But a direct message for you, my friend... As someone who uses pessimism to get optimism, I say, "It's never too late too change." Strangely, my escape from depression was the conclusion that "Living is meaningless" but for some reason I began to append "...so we are allowed to find whatever gives us meaning." So I tell you that no matter how long 10 years or more or less feel, remember that we always have and always have had a limited time on this planet we call Earth. And that precisely because of that, we should spend it in a way that brings us joy, and gives ourself meaning, even if all we manage to do is leave the world with just the satisfaction of becoming somebody better, of accomplishing something important to you, no matter how trivial, means you did something worthwhile for...
YOU. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. The satisfaction of helping somebody can count as being selfish. You do whatever you need to do to feel satisfied, not simply with life, but most importantly,
YOURSELF.
It breaks my heart knowing there are people out there who give up on life, and I want you to understand that among the over 8 billion people who also live on this planet, there are many just like you. But unlike all of them, you received the small push to come to terms with who you are
right now. You can change. It's hard, it is always hard, to do something uncomfortable or new, but all you need to do is to make that first step, to start making a change for yourself, by yourself. The first step can be anything. No internet for a day. Looking around while doing nothing outside, just staying outside to be outside. Taking a walk. Every little step, everything you do to at least
try to change yourself, is a step worth taking. Remember, even if you fail, the only one who gets hurt by it is you. As we always hear people say, "When you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!" If you've nothing to lose, then why not at least try?
Life can feel bleak and hopeless at times, and that's okay. We are all but a small part of how this mysterious universe works. But if there's still something you can do, because you are still alive, still on this beloved planet we inhabit, and there is something you can do. To truly give up is to simply choose to die. But you're not dead, and that is saying something. Somewhere deep in your heart, lies the desire to keep on living. Mistakes, are but a stepping stone to the path of improvement.
And I'm not just saying this for only you, but anyone who manages to stumble upon this message. You're not dead, so you still have the power to change, to make a change, and simply
DO SOMETHING, for as long as you continue to live. So go out there and do something for yourself! No need to wallow in despair. But make sure to come to terms with
everything about you. No need to be ashamed, just to truly understand, and accept who you are. Life, the universe, and everything is too complex for anyone to understand with just a number. But because of that complexity, there is never nothing new to learn, always something you haven't tried yet. And maybe, just maybe, when you become someone you can be proud of, you can help someone who was just like you do the same.
(can you tell I'm a self-proclaimed philosopher? I hope my words helped, good luck with your life and I hope you not only have a good day, but a good life. <3)
(also this story is a 10/10)