School Back - Vol. 3 Ch. 9 - I'm Fine

[Guyincognitus]

Did you read some alternate version of this chapter or something? He never said anything to her about staying away from Fushimi. He talked to Yuumi, Yuumi picked up that Fushimi's presence was causing an issue and told her to just stay out of it and leave them be.

Page 33.

 

[BuyVelomobiles]

I'll just stop dancing around it. He's being selfish. Being hurt that your girlfriend isn't opening up to you is absolutely normal but specifically refusing to tell your girlfriend to go see a counselor cause you think "I've got this" is incredibly selfish.

I see where you’re coming from, suggesting professional help is usually a solid approach. However, in this case, the counseling approach—waiting for someone to be ready to talk—might not be the most effective strategy. It seems even the counselor acknowledges the limitations in how much they can directly intervene or expedite the process.

Direct support from friends or exploring other supportive avenues might be more beneficial here, considering the unique circumstances and the immediate need for help. It’s crucial we consider all options to provide the most appropriate support, without solely relying on traditional counseling methods, especially if those methods aren’t making a significant difference right now.

Thanks for discussing this; it’s important to consider all perspectives to truly support someone in need.

Not to mention driving a wedge between another positive relationship. In this case it's just the janitor so nbd but that sort of behavior is at least a pink flag.

If we label the Boy's warning as a "pink flag," assuming it sabotages a potential positive relationship for the Girl with the Janitor, then consistency would demand we view the Counselor's similar caution in the same light, as the only difference is that she's speaking to the Janitor instead.

The way you tlak about and blame the girl is actually a little disturbing dude. It's so malicious.

It's essential to recognize the role that personal choices and communication—or the lack thereof—play in our interactions and overall well-being. In this scenario while it's natural to feel sympathetic towards the girl due to her struggles, it's also important to consider the dynamics of her relationship with her boyfriend. Both parties contribute to the relationship's health through their actions and communication.

By holding everything in and expecting her boyfriend to simply move on, the girl might unintentionally be contributing to a cycle of misunderstanding and emotional distance. It's not just about blaming one person or the other; it's about acknowledging that healthy relationships rely on open and honest communication from both sides.

While the boy's feelings and reactions are certainly part of the equation, focusing solely on his actions without considering the girl's approach to communication may overlook the complexity of how they both contribute to their situation. Encouraging a more balanced view where both individuals' responsibilities are considered can lead to more nuanced understanding and potentially healthier interactions moving forward.

 

[KitsuneKitEN]

My girlfriend is the type to want to vent about all her problems so im there to listen to her when she needs it. But im the exact opposite, i hate talking about the stuff that weighs down on me. Ill get over them by myself eventually but when im spending time with my loved ones, all i want is to enjoy the moment. Bro needs to understand that not everyone likes to or needs to talk about their issues, simple as. Girly was able to just have fun around ms. Janitor but her boyfriend keeps trying to remind her of the stuff she doesnt wanna think about. Thats on him and if he cant deal with that, they should break up.

That being said, the girlfriend here should totally voice this issue to him. Her fault is not doing that clearly enough.

 

[Nitrorare]

Simp lmao

 

[Lustrist]

shes like me fr, minus the 'damn you live like this?' room

 

[Guyincognitus]

I see where you’re coming from, suggesting professional help is usually a solid approach. However, in this case, the counseling approach—waiting for someone to be ready to talk—might not be the most effective strategy. It seems even the counselor acknowledges the limitations in how much they can directly intervene or expedite the process.

Direct support from friends or exploring other supportive avenues might be more beneficial here, considering the unique circumstances and the immediate need for help. It’s crucial we consider all options to provide the most appropriate support, without solely relying on traditional counseling methods, especially if those methods aren’t making a significant difference right now.

Thanks for discussing this; it’s important to consider all perspectives to truly support someone in need.

I'm not a psychologist and I won't pretend to know how best to approach any crisis like this. All I have said and mean to say is that boyfriend's behavior has been self-centered and counter productive.

If we label the Boy's warning as a "pink flag," assuming it sabotages a potential positive relationship for the Girl with the Janitor, then consistency would demand we view the Counselor's similar caution in the same light, as the only difference is that she's speaking to the Janitor instead.

I'm not gonna say I necessarily agree with her taking that step but that's a bit of a false equivalence. They're both essentially both trying to achieve the same thing which is to get the boy and the girl to rely on one another but inside of a relationship something like this is one person exhibiting control over the other which is where I have an issue. Isolating them, controlling who they interact with and how. Forcing them to have one person to turn to. Again, a small step in this case but a bad look no less.

Ms. Counselor on the other hand isn't participating in the relationship and explicitly doesn't want to which is the point of her making that request. She's expressly doing this to give up control. A bit iffy ethically, yeah, but not equivalent in the ways they're bad.

It's essential to recognize the role that personal choices and communication—or the lack thereof—play in our interactions and overall well-being. In this scenario while it's natural to feel sympathetic towards the girl due to her struggles, it's also important to consider the dynamics of her relationship with her boyfriend. Both parties contribute to the relationship's health through their actions and communication.

By holding everything in and expecting her boyfriend to simply move on, the girl might unintentionally be contributing to a cycle of misunderstanding and emotional distance. It's not just about blaming one person or the other; it's about acknowledging that healthy relationships rely on open and honest communication from both sides.

While the boy's feelings and reactions are certainly part of the equation, focusing solely on his actions without considering the girl's approach to communication may overlook the complexity of how they both contribute to their situation. Encouraging a more balanced view where both individuals' responsibilities are considered can lead to more nuanced understanding and potentially healthier interactions moving forward.

Sure they both contribute to the health of the relationship yadda yadda but the girl does not have the tools to communicate better. Whether they'd be time and a feeling of safety, professional guidance, or even the simple ability to recognize the state she's in is detrimental. Coming down on her for not having the capacity to do something that she is in no way capable of doing is ridiculous. I'm not even coming down on the boy for being one half of a shaky relationship. What I am coming down on him for is that he actively impedes her opportunity to gain these tools in favor of his savior complex.

I'm not assigning blame for the health of their relationship. If this chapter had just been him making clumsy attempts at getting close to his gf to get her to open up he'd just be a kid out of his depth and doing his best the same as her. Instead he demonstrates a selfish streak where doing his best means ignoring and blocking any alternatives that don't place him front and center and that makes him real punk in my book.

 

[the_Bear_from_Bearcave]

If we label the Boy's warning as a "pink flag," assuming it sabotages a potential positive relationship for the Girl with the Janitor, then consistency would demand we view the Counselor's similar caution in the same light, as the only difference is that she's speaking to the Janitor instead.

Frankly I though her warning to janitor was weird, especially since she didn't even know that janitor only talked with her for a moment yet she was already trying to "warn" her. My only explanation is that she heard about janitor's previous exploits like that "playing dead" scene or something, so she jumped to conclusions that janitor is trying to seriously meddle, but otherwise I think think telling another adult to refrain from communicating with obviously troubled child based only on one-sided report from her teenage boyfriend is rather suspect logic, especially since it's quite possible that janitor or other adult could have better effect on the girl than her young boyfriend.

Of course, there can be also cultural differences that play into this. Some of those chapters really show how differently people can think in other countries, like waiting with the groper to not trouble other passengers.

 

[BuyVelomobiles]

They're both essentially both trying to achieve the same thing which is to get the boy and the girl to rely on one another but inside of a relationship something like this is one person exhibiting control over the other which is where I have an issue. Isolating them, controling who they interact with and how forcing them to have one person to turn to. Again, a small step in this case but a bad look no less. Ms. Counselor on the other hand isn't participating in the relationship and explicitly doesn't want to which is the point of her making that request. She's expressly doing this to give up control. A bit iffy ethically, yeah, but not equivalent in the ways they're bad.

The distinction you've drawn between the counselor's intervention and the boyfriend's advice is thought-provoking, especially considering the counselor hadn't been directly asked by the girl for help nor had prior communication with her. This context is essential in evaluating the dynamics at play and the perceived moral standing of each party's actions.

It's important to recognize the unique position of trust and authority that professionals like counselors hold. Their actions, even when well-intentioned, are subject to rigorous ethical standards precisely because of their potential impact on individuals' autonomy and well-being. When a counselor decides to intervene without a direct request for assistance, it raises valid questions about the balance between professional responsibility and respecting personal boundaries.

The implication that the counselor's unsolicited intervention could be seen as less morally dubious than the boyfriend's concern, despite the absence of a formal counseling relationship with the girl, invites a deeper analysis of the expectations we place on professional versus personal roles in our lives. It underscores the need for clear communication, consent, and respect for individual agency in all interactions, whether personal or professional.

Recognizing these distinctions and the ethical landscape they inhabit allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the nuanced moral considerations involved in offering guidance and support.

Sure they both contribute to the health of the relationship yadda yadda but the girl does not have the tools to communicate better. Whether they'd be time and a feeling of safety, professional guidance, or even the simple ability to recognize the state she's in is detrimental. Coming down on her for not having the capacity that she is in no way capable of doing is ridiculous. I'm not even coming down on the boy for being on half of a shaky relationship. What I am coming down on him for is that he actively impedes her opportunity to gain these tools in favor of his savior complex.

I'm not assigning blame for the health of their relationship. If this chapter had just been him making clumsy attempts at getting close to his gf to get her to open up he'd just be a kid out of his depth and doing his best the same as her. But here he has a selfish streak where doing his best means ignoring and blocking any alternatives that don't place him front and center. And that makes him real punk in my book.

I understand your point about the boyfriend's intentions and actions. It's clear that his attempts to support his girlfriend stem from genuine concern and a desire to help her navigate her challenges. Characterizing his efforts as merely a savior complex overlooks the depth of care and commitment he is showing towards his partner's well-being. It's important to acknowledge the emotional labor and patience involved in trying to encourage a loved one to share their burdens, especially when they are noticeably struggling.

Your observation rightly highlights the need for a more balanced view of the situation. The boyfriend, in his efforts to engage and support his girlfriend, deserves recognition for the empathy and initiative he's shown. It's not an easy task to stand by someone who is dealing with personal issues, especially when attempts to help are met with resistance or silence.

At the same time, it's crucial to consider the girl's perspective and the complexities of her situation. While it may seem that she's not taking steps to help herself, the reality of coping with personal issues can often be paralyzing and complex. The path to opening up about one's problems is deeply personal and can be hindered by many factors, including fear of judgment, not wanting to burden others, or not knowing how to articulate one's feelings.

Acknowledging the efforts of both individuals in this scenario allows for a more compassionate and comprehensive understanding. The boyfriend's actions show a laudable commitment to their relationship and his partner's well-being, while the girl's hesitance underscores the often challenging nature of personal struggles. Moving forward, finding a way to communicate effectively and supportively could be beneficial for both, helping to bridge the gap between concern and understanding.

 

[SuzuPazuzu]

As with many (but not all, see: the train molester) of the dynamics presented in this manga, trying to pick a "bad guy" doesn't really work.

I do think the boyfriend's approach isn't going to work for his relationship, and he really needs to learn to widen his perspective. And I do think he has a saviour attitude which is, to a degree, self-serving. But he's also doing this with good intentions—I think that's obvious. He shows care for his partner and is willing to respect a very clear "no." By the end of the chapter, I do think we see a little glimpse of hope that he's adapting, as he doesn't press her for a reason or try to argue when she turns him down for a holiday date.

And as for the girlfriend, I think it's quite clear she doesn't have the energy to give him all the things he wants, but she still wants to give when she can. There's simply not enough context to really form an opinion on her motivations, but it's at least clear that she isn't acting out of any malice or spite.

Then for the counsellor, her actions showcase a really interesting dynamic. She genuinely wants to make things easier for these kids, but she knows where the boundaries are. So she sees one external pressure on the relationship that she can try and subtly ease, and she does it. It really teeters on overstepping the clear ethical boundaries she knows are in place, but she does it out of a genuine desire to help without wedging herself into the situation.

It's complex, emotional, messy, and most of all human. It's really an excellently written manga, in my opinion. Incredibly sensitive and compassionate.

 

[yeskey]

The fact that this sort of discussion is happening really is an indicator of quality for this manga lmao, love this one to bits

As with many (but not all, see: the train molester) of the dynamics presented in this manga, trying to pick a "bad guy" doesn't really work.

I do think the boyfriend's approach isn't going to work for his relationship, and he really needs to learn to widen his perspective. And I do think he has a saviour attitude which is, to a degree, self-serving. But he's also doing this with good intentions—I think that's obvious. He shows care for his partner and is willing to respect a very clear "no." By the end of the chapter, I do think we see a little glimpse of hope that he's adapting, as he doesn't press her for a reason or try to argue when she turns him down for a holiday date.

And as for the girlfriend, I think it's quite clear she doesn't have the energy to give him all the things he wants, but she still wants to give when she can. There's simply not enough context to really form an opinion on her motivations, but it's at least clear that she isn't acting out of any malice or spite.

Then for the counsellor, her actions showcase a really interesting dynamic. She genuinely wants to make things easier for these kids, but she knows where the boundaries are. So she sees one external pressure on the relationship that she can try and subtly ease, and she does it. It really teeters on overstepping the clear ethical boundaries she knows are in place, but she does it out of a genuine desire to help without wedging herself into the situation.

It's complex, emotional, messy, and most of all human. It's really an excellently written manga, in my opinion. Incredibly sensitive and compassionate.

 

[pedantiq]

Someone push this boy in front of a train.

 

[Sonaldo]

The comments here are very interesting. Nothing is solved but it really generates interesting discussion. Really shows the readers how many perspective one issue can have and how not everyone may look at it the same way.

 

[Radicool21]

I think it mainly just boils down to, the girl's tired and the boy's impatient. That's really it. She doesn't have the energy to talk it out rn because she's busy with her thoughts and anxieties about the exhibit; meanwhile the guy isn't willing to wait it out because in his mind, if something's "wrong" it needs to be fixed immediately and he needs to be the one to do it. The janitor allowed her to just exist without thinking about her problems, while the boy keeps pressing the issue.

People have ups & downs and being a good partner means (1) communicating effectively when you're down, and (2) being patient when your partner's down. Neither of them are doing either, and the relationship's not gonna last unless one of em makes a conscious change. If things don't work out it's nobody's fault; just a combination of immaturity and bad timing.

 

[BuyVelomobiles]

I think it mainly just boils down to, the girl's tired and the boy's impatient. That's really it. She doesn't have the energy to talk it out rn because she's busy with her thoughts and anxieties about the exhibit; meanwhile the guy isn't willing to wait it out because in his mind, if something's "wrong" it needs to be fixed immediately and he needs to be the one to do it. The janitor allowed her to just exist without thinking about her problems, while the boy keeps pressing the issue.

People have ups & downs and being a good partner means (1) communicating effectively when you're down, and (2) being patient when your partner's down. Neither of them are doing either, and the relationship's not gonna last unless one of em makes a conscious change. If things don't work out it's nobody's fault; just a combination of immaturity and bad timing.

The only one in a position to make any change is the girl. She's the one with all the information. All the boy's hearing is "Naw, there's literally nothing wrong at all visible worry/zoning out"

 

[Littlepikachu13]

Half of this chat thinks like the girl and the other half thinks like the guy and I feel like the counselor reading through all of it

 

[Radicool21]

All the boy's hearing is

What the boy hears, and what he should be listening to, are two very different things. His heart's in the right place but when ramming your head against an emotional wall doesn't work the first few times, you don't keep ramming it until you or your partner crumbles. Being able to wait is also making a conscious change.

 

[ImNotCreativeEnoughtForThese]

Your minds a mess when you live in a hell, I know since my moms a hoarder big time.

 

[brndndss]

ive been in that boyfriend situation before. it can really hurt to feel like you cant be relied on by someone you hold dear, but thats just a selfish state of mind. forcing someone to open up to you might make you feel better, but its probably not what they need/want