I'm not expert but it seems like you did a pretty good job to me. I don't like it when we get one of those double page widespreads or whatever they are called and right after that you add each page separatedly (I'm talking about pages 5-7 in case I explained myself poorly) but it's more of a personal issue and it's not like it's that annoying.
Also, my God, that girl sucks at hiding her past life.