I will selectively decide how to speak in front of individuals but, as an anonymous, disembodied sequence of characters in a very public area, I won’t bother to cull my language for a minority of people that I, frankly, could care less about. To be fair to you, your points do make some sense. However, the extent to which your logic takes you is, from my perspective, ridiculous. Let me take a brief second to dissect your logic and make it very clear:
1) we can have a word that is used to refer to a group of people, linking them together with a single, virtually inconsequently (as you seemed to suggest), trait.
2) we can have that same word be used pejoratively.
3) using said word pejoratively will result in previously mentioned group of people having negative connotations tied back to them
4) this previously mentioned group of people will be mistreated.
If that’s the case, then basically any people that can be described with an adjective with negative connotations should be treated terribly. I think we all realize that people with mental or physical handicaps, learning disabilities, various forms of mental degradation, etc. should not be mistreated, despite all the people with such conditions being able to be described by a word used pejoratively.
I genuinely think your argument doesn’t hold up to the way language actually works, hence my disregard of it. And, frankly, I don’t care if I hurt a small minority of people who are sensitive enough to actually care, because they’re the exception to the rule. I would be at fault in hurting such people for my insistence regarding my language, and that is because emotions are not wholly logical. However, if we look at this rationally, I don’t see any real problems whatsoever.