Group Leader
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2023
- Messages
- 190
New chapter out, figured since I posted the last ones I'd add in for this. It's painful, but shows that it's not so simple as "she's cheating on him and doesn't care".
So yeah, at the least it is clear that Mako is not being written as completely heartless and indifferent as the girls in some other works of this genre. She's clearly able to feel jealous that Kouhei might have gone out with or slept with another girl the same way he gets, and rather than just complaining to him that he sucks at everything, she's bordering on heartbreak at her own inability to respond to his touch despite how much she loves him, and worries that she's just leading him down a path of endless pain as neither can really fulfill the other but still can't leave.
As I said before, I think that checklist is not a terrible idea, but the way it's set up is entirely wrong. Even if there's difficulties in the bedroom and one wants to break it into bullet points, those points shouldn't just be "I felt good when you did this, I didn't feel anything when you did this". It's sort of like when I programmed for a company that required testing and reviewing from a busy coworker. Most of the time she'd just send back "it's fine" or "it didn't work", and if it's the latter I would have to nag her to give me details on what exactly didn't work and how it failed. Same here, telling him that she didn't get horny from something does nothing to help him. She needs to tell him how she wants to be touched, what she wishes he'd done at various times and points, even note when he's getting closer to what she likes, even if it's still not close enough to turn her on (like: you were a lot closer to the sort of forcefulness I like). She also probably does need to focus more on him, try to find some joy in the fact that he does feel good when he touches her, but either way she needs to communicate far more than just "this was a fail".
Put another way, she should aim for something closer to what you get in that Sasha-chan series. That girl too is barely able to feel any real pleasure or arousal with her semi-boyfriend if she coaches him on what to do and continuously pressures him to go harder. But that's what she does: she finds ways to enjoy herself when she's not actually turned on to the point that she'd never want to stop doing it with him, she maintains a strong confidence that he will one day be able to drive her crazier than any of her present or former "friends", and she consistently tells him what she likes, what she wants, and what she'd like him to do differently than he is currently doing, and there are even chapters that indicate that this does produce results, even if he's still far too immature and inexperienced to achieve consistent results.
It starts with Mako bringing a ton of snacks to Kouhei and apologizing profusely for missing their date. She goes on to explain how the teacher just wouldn't shut up and how annoying it was. Kouhei's surprised when she says that's all because she seemed much too unhappy for just that. She dodges but still probes him about what happened afterward, how long he waited for her, whether he went straight home after, etc. suggesting that even if they're agreed to an "open" relationship she's still feeling unhappy and jealous (and yeah, apparently the "rules" mentioned before are apparently the ones that say either person can have partners on the side, thus when he wondered if the rules were still going he was wondering if she'd gone off for some "fun").
They then go to a hotel and make love. Every mark on the checklist is a hard "nothing". Kissing? Felt nothing. Touching and foreplay? Nothing. Sex? Absolutely nothing. When they're done she gives him a distressed apology, and continues apologizing even when he tells her not to blame herself. She then asks him if, supposing they could never have sex, he would want to break up with her. She realizes it's hard, that if they keep doing this over and over like it's a job or duty their feelings get left behind, and every time they do it she hurts him even more. She feels like she's broken somehow. Supposing they got married someday, even if they both agreed to their rules and said they were happy about it, one or both of them would inevitably be hurt or wind up in some major trouble. She can't stop the tears at the thought that she might never be able to give him real happiness.
Kouhei wishes he had the strength to tell her that no matter who she did stuff with or even if he couldn't do it ever again he'd still continue to love her from the bottom of his heart, but for now all he can do his hold her and say he loves her. After confirming that he doesn't want to get married until his mid-20s, just like her, she sadly tells him to tell her immediately if he wants to break up before running away. Meanwhile in class Blondie is sticking to Kouhei like glue, making lunch for him, acting super lovey-dovey, and even insisting he call her by her first name, "Iroha".
They then go to a hotel and make love. Every mark on the checklist is a hard "nothing". Kissing? Felt nothing. Touching and foreplay? Nothing. Sex? Absolutely nothing. When they're done she gives him a distressed apology, and continues apologizing even when he tells her not to blame herself. She then asks him if, supposing they could never have sex, he would want to break up with her. She realizes it's hard, that if they keep doing this over and over like it's a job or duty their feelings get left behind, and every time they do it she hurts him even more. She feels like she's broken somehow. Supposing they got married someday, even if they both agreed to their rules and said they were happy about it, one or both of them would inevitably be hurt or wind up in some major trouble. She can't stop the tears at the thought that she might never be able to give him real happiness.
Kouhei wishes he had the strength to tell her that no matter who she did stuff with or even if he couldn't do it ever again he'd still continue to love her from the bottom of his heart, but for now all he can do his hold her and say he loves her. After confirming that he doesn't want to get married until his mid-20s, just like her, she sadly tells him to tell her immediately if he wants to break up before running away. Meanwhile in class Blondie is sticking to Kouhei like glue, making lunch for him, acting super lovey-dovey, and even insisting he call her by her first name, "Iroha".
As I said before, I think that checklist is not a terrible idea, but the way it's set up is entirely wrong. Even if there's difficulties in the bedroom and one wants to break it into bullet points, those points shouldn't just be "I felt good when you did this, I didn't feel anything when you did this". It's sort of like when I programmed for a company that required testing and reviewing from a busy coworker. Most of the time she'd just send back "it's fine" or "it didn't work", and if it's the latter I would have to nag her to give me details on what exactly didn't work and how it failed. Same here, telling him that she didn't get horny from something does nothing to help him. She needs to tell him how she wants to be touched, what she wishes he'd done at various times and points, even note when he's getting closer to what she likes, even if it's still not close enough to turn her on (like: you were a lot closer to the sort of forcefulness I like). She also probably does need to focus more on him, try to find some joy in the fact that he does feel good when he touches her, but either way she needs to communicate far more than just "this was a fail".
Put another way, she should aim for something closer to what you get in that Sasha-chan series. That girl too is barely able to feel any real pleasure or arousal with her semi-boyfriend if she coaches him on what to do and continuously pressures him to go harder. But that's what she does: she finds ways to enjoy herself when she's not actually turned on to the point that she'd never want to stop doing it with him, she maintains a strong confidence that he will one day be able to drive her crazier than any of her present or former "friends", and she consistently tells him what she likes, what she wants, and what she'd like him to do differently than he is currently doing, and there are even chapters that indicate that this does produce results, even if he's still far too immature and inexperienced to achieve consistent results.
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