Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2018
- Messages
- 5,636
Story writing challenges
- Thread starter Cool.Ice
- Start date
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2018
- Messages
- 5,636
Do leave a rating out of 10 so I can get a general gist on how to improve plz 🙏 The previous one too if you guys don't mind. Leave more prompts for me later too
@ItsukimotoWasNotTaken @Cool.Ice @panzerkampfwagyu @Dverin_Oshiban_Duren @solstice258 @gimme_yuri_plz @ImAFuckinNerd
I spent my time doing this instead of working on my novel lol. I got stuck in a hard part to write so I feel so lazy to go back to it
1464 words | 2h 45m
Genres: coming of age, supernatural, psychological
Practice: foreshadowing, emotional subtext
Wrong Side of the Bed
"Hah!" I raise my body in a gasp, throwing the blanket from my body. Sweat is pouring from my body. The world seems to spin as I try to recenter myself and fail.
I cradle my forehead in my hand. But this seems so... wrong. The size of my palm, the way my chest breathes; everything comes in a perturbing sense of incongruity that I struggle to hold down my vomit. I raise my head, finally spotting the mirror to the side of me.
It's a boy; he looks barely old enough to drink. Tousled dark hair, thin body. He has a face I recognize well.
I've been haunting him, after all...
"So you woke up in the wrong body?" the blonde girl beside me asks as she eats her sandwich.
Lucia is the only person James knew that knows me as well. A shared friend of ours, I suppose. How she even came to know about a ghost, I don't quite remember, but I'm thankful for her all the same.
She's the first person I texted when I woke up, and she rushed to James' mom's apartment to invite me to the park for breakfast. She did it all like it was routine, sitting me down on a cool bench in view of a sunny fountain.
"Yeah, and I have no idea how it happened." I shake my head.
It's then she offers me a sandwich in her free hand. It's the same one she's eating — filled with eggs, mayo, and lettuce — wrapped in a transparent plastic foil. "Eat," she says.
"But... isn't this James' food, not mine?"
"So what, Mison?" She pokes the wrapped sandwich against my cheek. "You're here now. Eat up."
"..." With my lips thinned I accept it with thanks. The plastic comes away easily. As the aroma of fresh bread and eggs drifts in the air, I take a bite of the pillowy bun. It's delicious. Creamy, savoury. I'm sure James would love this.
"Hah..." I can't help but sigh. "I'm worried about James. If I'm here... then where is he?"
But oddly enough, Lucia doesn't seem worried. "He'll be fine, Mison."
"How would you know that?" A reasonable question, I thought.
All she does is pat me on the shoulder. "Trust me."
She finishes the last of her sandwich before she stands up, tidying her skirt flowing in the wind.
"You better finish your food fast, though," she says.
"Why?"
"Because today, James is scheduled to visit his father."
The train is crowded on a weekend. Bodies are packed like sardines. It's practically a miracle we both got a seat, I think with a nervous laugh. I wring my hands together, the tension setting all my nerves afire.
"Stop fussing so much, Mison. It'll be fine," Lucia says beside me, not even looking up from her phone.
"How would you know that?!" I whisper-scream. "I don't know what his father's like!"
"You've got nothing to worry about. He loves you."
"What—"
Ding-dong. "Attention passengers. The train will be arriving soon. Please mind the gap..."
"Ah, about time." Lucia gets up from her seat, taking my hand in hers. "Come on, let's go."
I don't have time to complain before she pulls me out of the train and into a taxi, launching straight into the busy streets. The buildings pass us by like autumn leaves — fleeting and gone in the blink of an eye. I lost count of it all trying not to cry.
"Hey," she says softly. "Be confident in yourself." She smiles, and somehow all my worries feel a little lighter in comparison.
The car stops beside a skyscraper made of glass and steel. Shiny windows, floor after floor, all the way up to the garishly blue sky.
"This is where James' father lives?" I ask, peering up into the clouds.
"No. He just works on the weekends too," she says simply.
We walk in through a revolving door past people in business suits. I feel infinitely out of place dressed so informally in jeans and a hoodie. How Lucia comes up to the receptionist so casually is beyond me.
"Good morning. We have an appointment for Mr. Millor. Could you please check if he's available for us?"
And just like that, we're up an elevator to the tallest floor of this tower.
I can't hold myself back anymore. "Just what kind of man is he?!"
Lucia doesn't even seem remotely impressed by the splendor. "Just a normal man."
When the elevator doors open to the penthouse, I expected luxury and class. What I didn't expect to see is booze littered across a massive table and a man who looks like he's dressed in a rush. His business suit is still half-buttoned, his undershirt not even tucked into his pants.
"Yew're here already?" he slurs his words. He looks at his table, then down at his shirt, and finally back to us. He sighs. "Forgive me. I've had a rough night."
"I'll go sit on the couch," Lucia says as she goes off.
"Ah, yes. Please make yourself at home," the man awkwardly says.
That leaves the both of us together. We stand around, not sure what to do or say.
It's as I wonder if coming here was a mistake that Mr. Millor starts to speak, "Hey, would you like some ice cream?"
Said ice cream turns out to be in a freezer at the rooftop terrace. He had for himself a coffee-flavoured popsicle, and for me chocolate chip that I know is James' favourite. The sound of the city seems so muted from up here, looking down as I lean against the iron railing.
"How's your mom doing?" That's the first question he asks.
Last I saw, James' mom was having trouble finding a job. She's never said it out loud; it's a mother's pride. But the money was obvious to anyone who paid attention. I swallow my bite of ice cream. "She's doing well," I say instead.
Something in my tone must've set him off because it doesn't sound like he believes me. "My offer still stands, you know?"
What offer? "I know."
"Just keep it in your mind, please. I've been talking to a therapist. Took some drugs. Tried to curb my bad habits."
"..."
He sighs. "Enough about me. How's school been for you?"
I think back on James' life as I take another bite my my popsicle.
He... "I got into that college that I wanted back then."
"Really?" Mr. Millor smiles. "That's great!"
That's what anyone would think, but James wasn't really happy. "I had a new one I wanted, though."
"New one?" he asks, but I'm not really sure how I can answer him.
James wanted to aim higher in life. He wanted to be more like his father than his mother. But the entrance exam was more difficult than he expected. He failed to invest the appropriate amount of time to study. The result was this.
"It's my second choice." The words locked away tight in James' chest spills from me in monotone. I'm sure he would be horrified to know a stranger is divulging his secrets like this, but I feel like I owe his father the truth.
"What do you look so worried for?" Mr Millor asks.
"Hm?" I think about asking as I go to take another bite. But I realize why he asked. My hands are trembling badly. "Ah..."
"Hey, it's alright."
I try to say it's fine, but my lips won't move for some reason. Something warm runs down my cheek. I realize... I'm crying.
He wraps his arms around my back, and I become paralyzed in his warmth. I want to say something, but my tongue clogs up in my throat, and my vision turns so blurry that I can't see.
"I'll always support you, no matter where you are in life. You got that?"
"...yeah..."
"I love you, Jamison."
"...I love you too... Dad..."
The evening train ride back home passes in silence. I spent the entire time with the back of my head against the backseat as Lucia fell asleep on my shoulder.
When it comes time we cross the intersection, her home is to the left, and mine to the right. But I don't feel like walking forward at all. She stands beside me, waiting patiently.
I just feel like I have to get something off my chest.
"Hey, Lucia?"
"What is it?"
"I think... I think James will be alright."
The words come out easily, like a long-held weight finally flying free. Lucia turns toward me with eyes smiling softly. She steps forward to hug me. I hug her back.
"Yeah. I'm sure he will."
@ItsukimotoWasNotTaken @Cool.Ice @panzerkampfwagyu @Dverin_Oshiban_Duren @solstice258 @gimme_yuri_plz @ImAFuckinNerd
I spent my time doing this instead of working on my novel lol. I got stuck in a hard part to write so I feel so lazy to go back to it
1464 words | 2h 45m
Genres: coming of age, supernatural, psychological
Practice: foreshadowing, emotional subtext
Wrong Side of the Bed
"Hah!" I raise my body in a gasp, throwing the blanket from my body. Sweat is pouring from my body. The world seems to spin as I try to recenter myself and fail.
I cradle my forehead in my hand. But this seems so... wrong. The size of my palm, the way my chest breathes; everything comes in a perturbing sense of incongruity that I struggle to hold down my vomit. I raise my head, finally spotting the mirror to the side of me.
It's a boy; he looks barely old enough to drink. Tousled dark hair, thin body. He has a face I recognize well.
I've been haunting him, after all...
* * *
"So you woke up in the wrong body?" the blonde girl beside me asks as she eats her sandwich.
Lucia is the only person James knew that knows me as well. A shared friend of ours, I suppose. How she even came to know about a ghost, I don't quite remember, but I'm thankful for her all the same.
She's the first person I texted when I woke up, and she rushed to James' mom's apartment to invite me to the park for breakfast. She did it all like it was routine, sitting me down on a cool bench in view of a sunny fountain.
"Yeah, and I have no idea how it happened." I shake my head.
It's then she offers me a sandwich in her free hand. It's the same one she's eating — filled with eggs, mayo, and lettuce — wrapped in a transparent plastic foil. "Eat," she says.
"But... isn't this James' food, not mine?"
"So what, Mison?" She pokes the wrapped sandwich against my cheek. "You're here now. Eat up."
"..." With my lips thinned I accept it with thanks. The plastic comes away easily. As the aroma of fresh bread and eggs drifts in the air, I take a bite of the pillowy bun. It's delicious. Creamy, savoury. I'm sure James would love this.
"Hah..." I can't help but sigh. "I'm worried about James. If I'm here... then where is he?"
But oddly enough, Lucia doesn't seem worried. "He'll be fine, Mison."
"How would you know that?" A reasonable question, I thought.
All she does is pat me on the shoulder. "Trust me."
She finishes the last of her sandwich before she stands up, tidying her skirt flowing in the wind.
"You better finish your food fast, though," she says.
"Why?"
"Because today, James is scheduled to visit his father."
* * *
The train is crowded on a weekend. Bodies are packed like sardines. It's practically a miracle we both got a seat, I think with a nervous laugh. I wring my hands together, the tension setting all my nerves afire.
"Stop fussing so much, Mison. It'll be fine," Lucia says beside me, not even looking up from her phone.
"How would you know that?!" I whisper-scream. "I don't know what his father's like!"
"You've got nothing to worry about. He loves you."
"What—"
Ding-dong. "Attention passengers. The train will be arriving soon. Please mind the gap..."
"Ah, about time." Lucia gets up from her seat, taking my hand in hers. "Come on, let's go."
I don't have time to complain before she pulls me out of the train and into a taxi, launching straight into the busy streets. The buildings pass us by like autumn leaves — fleeting and gone in the blink of an eye. I lost count of it all trying not to cry.
"Hey," she says softly. "Be confident in yourself." She smiles, and somehow all my worries feel a little lighter in comparison.
The car stops beside a skyscraper made of glass and steel. Shiny windows, floor after floor, all the way up to the garishly blue sky.
"This is where James' father lives?" I ask, peering up into the clouds.
"No. He just works on the weekends too," she says simply.
We walk in through a revolving door past people in business suits. I feel infinitely out of place dressed so informally in jeans and a hoodie. How Lucia comes up to the receptionist so casually is beyond me.
"Good morning. We have an appointment for Mr. Millor. Could you please check if he's available for us?"
And just like that, we're up an elevator to the tallest floor of this tower.
I can't hold myself back anymore. "Just what kind of man is he?!"
Lucia doesn't even seem remotely impressed by the splendor. "Just a normal man."
When the elevator doors open to the penthouse, I expected luxury and class. What I didn't expect to see is booze littered across a massive table and a man who looks like he's dressed in a rush. His business suit is still half-buttoned, his undershirt not even tucked into his pants.
"Yew're here already?" he slurs his words. He looks at his table, then down at his shirt, and finally back to us. He sighs. "Forgive me. I've had a rough night."
"I'll go sit on the couch," Lucia says as she goes off.
"Ah, yes. Please make yourself at home," the man awkwardly says.
That leaves the both of us together. We stand around, not sure what to do or say.
It's as I wonder if coming here was a mistake that Mr. Millor starts to speak, "Hey, would you like some ice cream?"
Said ice cream turns out to be in a freezer at the rooftop terrace. He had for himself a coffee-flavoured popsicle, and for me chocolate chip that I know is James' favourite. The sound of the city seems so muted from up here, looking down as I lean against the iron railing.
"How's your mom doing?" That's the first question he asks.
Last I saw, James' mom was having trouble finding a job. She's never said it out loud; it's a mother's pride. But the money was obvious to anyone who paid attention. I swallow my bite of ice cream. "She's doing well," I say instead.
Something in my tone must've set him off because it doesn't sound like he believes me. "My offer still stands, you know?"
What offer? "I know."
"Just keep it in your mind, please. I've been talking to a therapist. Took some drugs. Tried to curb my bad habits."
"..."
He sighs. "Enough about me. How's school been for you?"
I think back on James' life as I take another bite my my popsicle.
He... "I got into that college that I wanted back then."
"Really?" Mr. Millor smiles. "That's great!"
That's what anyone would think, but James wasn't really happy. "I had a new one I wanted, though."
"New one?" he asks, but I'm not really sure how I can answer him.
James wanted to aim higher in life. He wanted to be more like his father than his mother. But the entrance exam was more difficult than he expected. He failed to invest the appropriate amount of time to study. The result was this.
"It's my second choice." The words locked away tight in James' chest spills from me in monotone. I'm sure he would be horrified to know a stranger is divulging his secrets like this, but I feel like I owe his father the truth.
"What do you look so worried for?" Mr Millor asks.
"Hm?" I think about asking as I go to take another bite. But I realize why he asked. My hands are trembling badly. "Ah..."
"Hey, it's alright."
I try to say it's fine, but my lips won't move for some reason. Something warm runs down my cheek. I realize... I'm crying.
He wraps his arms around my back, and I become paralyzed in his warmth. I want to say something, but my tongue clogs up in my throat, and my vision turns so blurry that I can't see.
"I'll always support you, no matter where you are in life. You got that?"
"...yeah..."
"I love you, Jamison."
"...I love you too... Dad..."
* * *
The evening train ride back home passes in silence. I spent the entire time with the back of my head against the backseat as Lucia fell asleep on my shoulder.
When it comes time we cross the intersection, her home is to the left, and mine to the right. But I don't feel like walking forward at all. She stands beside me, waiting patiently.
I just feel like I have to get something off my chest.
"Hey, Lucia?"
"What is it?"
"I think... I think James will be alright."
The words come out easily, like a long-held weight finally flying free. Lucia turns toward me with eyes smiling softly. She steps forward to hug me. I hug her back.
"Yeah. I'm sure he will."
Last edited:
Fraud of Mysteries
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2026
- Messages
- 2,932
@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN I'd give the first one 6.6/10 and the second 7.3/10
For a promt I'll give you: Lightseeker
For a promt I'll give you: Lightseeker
Lightseeker is the title of the 6th volume of LotM where Klein learns some BIG truths and help others free themselves from darkness.
Last edited:
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2026
- Messages
- 179
@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN
Im not good at criticizing people, so grain of salt. Or maybe 2. Or 300. Or a full cup. What have you. Im not good with emotional storytelling.
For the first one, a 7.3/10. The story took a good turn and I enjoyed how you played with the concept given.
The second one, 6.7/10 (DO NOT). Very good emotionally, but some of the plot felt slightly forced through with that same emotion.
As for a a prompt, here's another fantasy to work through.
Im not good at criticizing people, so grain of salt. Or maybe 2. Or 300. Or a full cup. What have you. Im not good with emotional storytelling.
For the first one, a 7.3/10. The story took a good turn and I enjoyed how you played with the concept given.
The second one, 6.7/10 (DO NOT). Very good emotionally, but some of the plot felt slightly forced through with that same emotion.
As for a a prompt, here's another fantasy to work through.
"And? Which god shall I slay? This one? The next as well? And the one after that?
Nonsense.
With this strike, I shall cut the entire pantheon down.
And then I shall enjoy my throne. Brutal and bloodsoaked, covered in nought but carrion of the arrogant and foolish." She stares at the heavens, her zweihandler bent but still sharp, readying her feet for one last blow. The worshippers watch on in despair as they take their final breaths.
Nonsense.
With this strike, I shall cut the entire pantheon down.
And then I shall enjoy my throne. Brutal and bloodsoaked, covered in nought but carrion of the arrogant and foolish." She stares at the heavens, her zweihandler bent but still sharp, readying her feet for one last blow. The worshippers watch on in despair as they take their final breaths.
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2026
- Messages
- 179
Bump those numbers up. We need more numbers.
Perpetual Newbie
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2025
- Messages
- 4,682
I'm bored, so here's something you can laugh at. Or just ignore. Whatever...
If you had never heard of Oaktown, MD before, you'll probably assume that it's a typical, run-of-the-mill town, and you'd be mostly right. The town had nothing special going for it until recently, when a small library suddenly appeared overnight.
...I kinda ran out of ideas already, so that's all for today
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2018
- Messages
- 5,636
Yay finally responses!
Any comments on why those scores? 🙏
I'll give this a shot later, got an idea already 🍿
Yeah I thought the emotions were a bit rushed as I was writing but I didn't feel like doing extensive editing for these short stories. I wanted to do this to train my writing speed since I can practice polishing the narrative any time
I got an idea for a twist a la Land of the Lustrous with this prompt
A library? Reminiscent of a certain Ruina, perhaps?
