Tensei Akuma no Saikyou Yuusha Ikusei Keikaku - Vol. 2 Ch. 7 - When the Rain Stops
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The build up for the perfect moment is splendid.
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[/ lot of spoiler surrounding here]
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He's been having it since chapter 1. When Kakyu opened the box, he found Ars with the necklace, so likely either Alma or her parents put it in with him.i just noticed ars has alma's dragonscale necklace
And now I'm crying.
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I feel conflicted, but I can't bring myself to enjoy this chapter. I really enjoyed the setup for the drama, and loved the way that it recaracterized the MC and his feelings about trust. I liked that he didn't even really think that she would be lying, because of how much trust he placed in her.
However.
However, however, however.
I did not like the way that the drama was executed. The conclusion was highly unsatisfying, and felt unearned. While I don't like it when a misunderstanding goes on for a needlessly lengthy time, I believe that, in this situation, the impacts/reactions should have been looked at more closely, and I think the way the author sped through it lessend the overall impact of this very emotional scene.
To highlight my example, I will discribe how I would have written it.
The chapter remains the same to page 32. Then, instead of it cutting back to the male MC, it clips to the wife. She is thinking back to the event, wondering why it went against her expectations, and eventually coming to the conclusion that she was in the wrong. As she goes to speak to MC, she realizes Ars is missing, and that takes priority. Then, cut to (our) page 33. When she enters, have her display more remorse on her face, while still being all business. She should not look calm. Have the "looking for Ars" part play out the same.
Have the wife start with an apology, as opposed to it being in the middle. Something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't really throw the gloves away (and the she continues the other diologe)". Might as well even keep the more dramatic apology.
Biggest thing. Have the MC accept the apology. I (partially) understand the Japanese mindset, but you can't have him be that distressed about those gloves (and rightfuly so) and then have him just... blow it off. Then, he can (and more slowly) state that he, too, is partially in the wrong for leaving his stuff out. Then the ending can remain the same, with them comforting each other, and then him proposing.
As you can see, the devil is in the details, or lack thereof. I feel like the characters did not react fully to this event in a realistic way.
This is not a big change, but I can understand if the author did not have the space to expand on this. I am willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt in this case, as all other writing has been quite well done. It is also possible that this is due to awkward translation, but this seems unlikely.
However.
However, however, however.
I did not like the way that the drama was executed. The conclusion was highly unsatisfying, and felt unearned. While I don't like it when a misunderstanding goes on for a needlessly lengthy time, I believe that, in this situation, the impacts/reactions should have been looked at more closely, and I think the way the author sped through it lessend the overall impact of this very emotional scene.
To highlight my example, I will discribe how I would have written it.
The chapter remains the same to page 32. Then, instead of it cutting back to the male MC, it clips to the wife. She is thinking back to the event, wondering why it went against her expectations, and eventually coming to the conclusion that she was in the wrong. As she goes to speak to MC, she realizes Ars is missing, and that takes priority. Then, cut to (our) page 33. When she enters, have her display more remorse on her face, while still being all business. She should not look calm. Have the "looking for Ars" part play out the same.
Have the wife start with an apology, as opposed to it being in the middle. Something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't really throw the gloves away (and the she continues the other diologe)". Might as well even keep the more dramatic apology.
Biggest thing. Have the MC accept the apology. I (partially) understand the Japanese mindset, but you can't have him be that distressed about those gloves (and rightfuly so) and then have him just... blow it off. Then, he can (and more slowly) state that he, too, is partially in the wrong for leaving his stuff out. Then the ending can remain the same, with them comforting each other, and then him proposing.
As you can see, the devil is in the details, or lack thereof. I feel like the characters did not react fully to this event in a realistic way.
This is not a big change, but I can understand if the author did not have the space to expand on this. I am willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt in this case, as all other writing has been quite well done. It is also possible that this is due to awkward translation, but this seems unlikely.
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