@MrFunPlace youāre right that itād be against social norms to appear to an invited function dressed poorly in most societies. I also misread your focus on to whom the respect was owed, as you had said āi just see that as disrespectful to the kingā ā I misunderstood that to mean you expected her to treat him differently as a kingās subject.
That said.
1) she did not flout her defining characteristics by giving him homemade food/tea & serving him. Sheās been serving all the knights ā thatās what has made her stand out. Her casual, countryside manners (as opposed to court appropriate) are basically her defining trait as the heroine.
2) this was a way for the protag ( & the readers) to see if heās worthy for her, by seeing his reaction to her as she is. Sheās feeling him out while feeling safe in her anonymity. Hence her embarrassment when he recognized her anyway.
3) thereās also her words: "even without dressing up, the king will find it amusing to see a misfortunate consort like this.ā Also: āIām only at that standard...Iām just a country girl...ā She is not rlly taking this consort thing seriously & doesnāt expect him to take her seriously. Itās less disrespect for him & more disrespect for herself.
@Pocky8: this isnāt just any normal date though. This is the first meeting of a Special Shoujo Heroine Not Like the Other Girls & her love interest. She could have washed her face, but then she wouldnāt be as quirky/unique.
I donāt think this is important enough to continue debating, but I just find it illogical to be offended by her lack of primping & her misdirections when she meant no harm, did no harm, & actually made a favorable impression on him. If he were upset, thatād be a diff story.