The Flower Dances and the Wind Sings - Ch. 23

[Mizumachi]

@bagofsaltysalt
Um, this is still a flashback, I am saying that just in case.
She seems to be plagued by depression no matter what, so much so that she had to die once to get out of it(assuming she isn't depressed anymore).

 

[supreme_senpai]

Ercella… 😢

 

[anideki]

this be hitting deeper with every chapter, real

 

[Neko98]

Man she can’t get a break at all!! He father died, father in-law died and now her sister died in one year!! 😰 No wonder she has horrible mental issues. And that’s not taking into account of her husband being off to war, even when he’s back he didn’t talk to her much and the servants didn’t treat her well either and add her PTS. No wonder she became like this.

 

[Karakarachu]

Jeez Harsen. How many people did you kill? And Ercella knows of them and is wracked with guilt.

 

[nyxied]

this hits hard, the way this manhwa manages to portray such painful issues so realistically makes me feel more and more for Ercella

 

[C3mpl0n]

Aaahhh...so she has 'broken' because she fighted her consience while facing her husband's political movement

 

[Cyro11]

That's a long ass flashback

 

[fsjdkfjs]

i forgot what was happening before the flashback lol

 

[Godrena]

My heart hurts for her. She just can't a get a break. 🥺 It's so heartbreaking.

 

[megagen]

@Anna15485
That does not justify her neglect of her son. you can sympathise but never use that as an excuse. It's like punching someone because yu were in a bad mood. Yes there i a reason but does it justify your action, no. Her son had to suffer for no fault of his own.

 

[primrose_0510]

They both had their burdens.

She was struggling with depression, loss and emptiness. He was struggling at protecting the family, political affairs and responsibility. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't her fault. Yes, they both had their flaws, but a cruel coming of age is what hit them.

 

[sortofsth]

@megagen You obviously have no idea what depression is like.
Depression is not "being in a bad mood."
At it's worst it basically makes it impossible for you to function like a normal human being.
Your statement is incredibly insensitive and shows why a lot of people blame themselves for their depression.

 

[heml8ck]

AGh, I just want to get back to the current time T_T this backstory is KILLING ME AAA I feel so bad for everyone lmfao, though I do think Harsen is more responsible for his family's issues than he thinks he is. I JUST WANT TO GO BACK AND START RESOLVING EVERYTHING ajwhdnkajwndjwa

Thanks for the great update as always XD

 

[bagofsaltysalt]

@Mizumachi oh ok ty I was so confused wondering y she was trying to avoid Vicente again

 

[macroblitz]

So this was a flashback?

 

[StellarIceberg]

Ercella just didn't ever get to be happy. Not once. She married for her family. She tried to love for her family. She gave birth for her family. Even now, through timelapse she's out here not living for herself.
"I'd have married even if it was not you. I'd have still given birth to a child."

She has never thought that it had to be her. Harsen never gave her the sense of security that she needed as a human being, let alone as a wife. This too led her to think it didn't matter who it was. She just had to complete her duties and she wouldn't be happy even if it was someone else.

That moment though when she told Vicente about her time before marriage. When she studied books just for herself, how she danced with her brother she didn't like, the time she went to tea parties with her friends and they talked about which houses had the best sons. I believe at that moment, she was truly happy.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh this is painful.

 

[Kuroku2]

@megagen

At some point you'd have to blame society for letting this happen. This woman was going through postpartum depression and had to carry herself to take care of duties on her own while her husband was going to war and going through loss of precious family. She's expected to do all these duties of a wife and had no time at all to just stop and address her own feelings that are crashing down.

She couldn't even be with her father to the end even though she wanted to. She wanted to love her child, but she couldn't. She desperately needed therapy but with that sort of historical society, you have no support for mental illness. Even now with our understanding of mental illness you would be lucky to find a good therapist depending on where you live in modern times.

This isn't an easy black and white situation. She's not a monster. She's just going along with the flow trying to tell herself she's happy and truly to make herself happy when she's really not and she's not getting the help she needs.

She regrets, she's trying to change and do better with this second chance all while trying her best to heal.

I think this manhwa is portraying something that doesn't get shown enough and people don't seem to understand as much that postpartum depression is very real and it happens and things need to be done to address it.

Edit: Also in case you're wondering, when you lose a loved one, especially one you're close to, it changes everything. You don't become happy again after a month or whatever. The guilt eats at you every single day, you wonder what could have been done, etc. You become angry, sad, and all kinds of complex emotions and yet you can't let these feelings out because other people don't actually care, they just want to see that you're able to live and that you're "happy." I know this quite well.

 

[hellomadie]

Poor Ercella. Even at her breaking point when it was clear how miserable and empty she felt, all Harsen did was send her away. He's going through his own problems of course, but avoiding the issue altogether and just hoping she'll come back "fixed" isn't the right mindset at all.
I really like this extra depth given to her character. Now her party character we saw in chapter 1 doesn't seem evil, but sad. The social gatherings and balls and clothes were merely a coping mechanism.
A lot of depressed people, myself included, divulge in escapism. That was hers.

 

[KhalE]

Yall I'm crying in my cold unlite bathroom right now. Motherhood is harsh, my heart aches for my own mother who had no one to helo raise me. I saw her reflection on Ercella and I crumbled.