The Girl With a Mirrored Heart - Oneshot

Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 27, 2019
Messages
650
i feel like the author came up with "I can feel your heartbeat" line first and made up everything else around that because the premise really doens't make sense, but hey it's cute as fuck lmao
 
Double-page supporter
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
259
I mean, yeah sure, but how do they know that she got mirrored organs?
Author should have gone deeper with the plot - "she trusted someone and told them this...", but nah.
 
Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
111
A friend of mine has that, its more "that's kinda cool". Its not like you go thru your life showing your internal organs to get bullied for it
 
Aggregator gang
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
106
It's always the bullies with x-ray vision that can see the layout of your internal organs that you gotta watch out for
 
Double-page supporter
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
578
She got bullied for something no one can see.......????????

What???

Nice Yuri tho
 
Dex-chan lover
Joined
May 6, 2020
Messages
245
I'm glad she stay alive till end. Bullying is bad, especially in Japan.
Her own condition is kinda dangerous, I've lost one of my nephew which had same condition as her.
 
Fed-Kun's army
Joined
Sep 25, 2020
Messages
388
"Although cardiac problems are more common, many people with situs inversus have no medical symptoms or complications resulting from the condition, and until the advent of modern medicine, it was usually undiagnosed." So yeah, it's not something that has any obvious symptoms.
 
Active member
Joined
Oct 24, 2020
Messages
298
I liked the part where they're sitting next to each other and that they can feel each other's heartbeat
 
Joined
Sep 25, 2020
Messages
1
I was honestly surprised how short this was, but that doesn't make it bad. Though I honestly am confused about (1) how people would even be able to tell she has this condition, and (2) why they would bully someone so terribly to the point of self-harm just because of a condition that literally has no symptoms 'nor disabilities. I don't mind short stories at all, they can normally be quite cute or powerful, but this one felt more like a detailed storyboard of an idea that the author had. That being said, I feel as though this idea would benefit more from a fully-fleshed out storyline, or even mini-series. But as it is now, it just kind of feels, unfinished I guess. Gotta respect the yuri part of it, and the heartbeat part was really cute.

I rated it a 6 out of 10 because I understood the emotion they were going for, and it's a cute idea, but it just didn't make me feel quite as satisfied as if it were a little longer of a story with more flesh and feeling to it.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top