@Serisan hey, sorry I read you comment and this is only my opinion, so I hope I hope I did not offend you!
I understand where that thought came from but at the same time, I would love to see Pauliana make decisions that do not involve her survival. Becoming a soldier and fighting was never her choice, in fact she said “ I never wanted to become a knight”.
The validation and acceptance she seeks is not because she is just a soldier, but that she is also a woman. She does not want to erase that part of her identity. This is because she had to work harder than any other man for the title and prestige she now holds. She wants that to be known because of it.
The only and first person who acknowledged both parts of her was the emperor. He sees her as a formidable woman and a very capable soldier. He accepted and recognised both parts of her which, would not disappear no matter the nature of their relationship. That is all she wanted in her life and that is why she looks up to him and trusts him so much. He knows Pauliana is a strong woman, whether she is a soldier or not. This chapter demonstrated through the princess, who herself says how amazing Pauliana is to even approach to what she sees like an unreachable wall.
