Your previous releases were really good, but there's a bunch of problems with the English here. I know no Korean, so a a lot of the changes are seeing something wrong with the English and having to guess a change. I apologize if this sounds overly critical.
Image 8: "It usually happens when you use powers which cannot be exerted by just yourself possible with lu-lium." This should probably be something like "...when you use lu-lium to exert powers beyond what you can do yourself."
Image 12: "...murdered the apostles and extorted their blood." Extortion is theft by coercion. You can't coerce a dead person. This should just be "stole" or "took," but maybe like "drained" if you want something more rough/gruesome.
Image 16: "if I get a change" presumably should be "chance."
Image 17, 35, 38: "...remains/ruins of Kevin Ashton." Unless he literally means on his body/bones, something like resting place, grave, tomb, monument, or memorial would make more sense than remains. Ruins is similarly weird sounding.
Image 19: "I've never seen anyone other than me who can see such a window." Repeating seen/see is awkward, so use "met" instead for the first one.
Image 25: "For the 300 years of sleep in Grasmire..." Previous chapters used "Grasmere." Should probably also be "for my."
Image 26: "I shared the views of the Chandler family and watched all human beings in real time." "Sharing a view" sounds non-literal like agreeing on politics. And all human beings? Every one? Maybe "Throughout my 300 years of sleep / I watched the humans in Grasmere through the eyes of the Chandler family."
"It feels like you had a big impact on the opponent." I don't know what he's trying to say here, so this just sounds like a non-sequitur.
Image 29: "Have you always been deceived?" Korean idiom? Guessing maybe something like "are you a fool" or "are you stupid" might fit better.
Image 38: "...this is the ruins of Kevin Ashton." If you really want to use "ruins of Kevin Ashton," then "these are."
Says "Lerizier" in one spot while everywhere else is "Lerazier."
"It's not called the shrine of Lerazier for not..." Should be "for naught," but "not called ... for naught" is awkward.
Image 40: "If I look at the hole of the clear sky... / it would be different..." should probably be something like "if only I could see the hole of the clear sky... / things would be different..."
