Long list of things to nitpick over in hopes of a third revision being done
P5
gather -> gathered
eversince -> ever since
whale's -> "a whale's"
"touch the" -> "touch on the" script -> scrip
"the chance that this [SVE territory scrip] to be a" -> the chance of this [SVE territory scrip] being a"
depends -> depending
"time lag" -> "time gap"
"this banknotes" -> "these banknotes"
"only papers" -> "simply papers"
P6
"in the map" -> "on the map"
P8
breast -> breasts
freference -> preference
P10
Golem-tarou -> Gol-tarou
seems -> seem
"severing magical" -> "severing a magical"
P11
"There doesn't seems to be more way ahea-" -> At the very least, seems -> seem but the sentence is a bit rough regardless. Is he trying to say something like "There doesn't seem to be anywhere else to g-"? scares -> scared
constructed -> construct
P12
"this seemingly" -> "these seemingly"
"this clothes" -> "these clothes"
P13
"I was in a daze..." -> Either "I was in such a daze" or "making me unaware"
regreting -> regretting
"kept feeling strong stare from gol-tarou from behind me" -> "a strong stare", second from is redundant
"but since this happened just before that that" -> "but since that happened just before this,"
"that one place" -> "the one place"
armor -> armour (You used colour and coloured earlier so best to stick with the superior spelling elsewhere too)
P14
armor -> armour (as much as armour is the superior spelling, consistency is best)
P18
comrades -> comrade
P20
smashsshh -> smaaaaash
flame -> flare
P21
attendtion -> attention
"picked up" -> "picked a"
P26
"A sudden series of fierce rush attacks" -> "A sudden flurry of fierce blows"
P28
"at once" -> "right away" or "immediately"
order -> orders
P29
golem -> golems
P30
"this words" -> "the words"
