Something that is oftentimes more important to people in the situation our boy was in, is giving them the option of not having to go do something. Letting them know that nobody will hold it against them if they can't do it, if they fail. Telling someone they have or can do something important isn't necessarily going to help them in the situation, but letting them know the don't have to do it or that it's ok to fail, or to give up, is a lot more helpful to their mental wellbeing.