Fed-Kun's army
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2018
- Messages
- 245
@AlexEliot Thanks for the translation. I'm not sure about the wording on page 16 though. Mai says the following 3 lines:
恋人などになれないと断られた相手に
いつまでも優しくし続けなければならない
私の辛さも君にわかってほしかったので
They are translated like this:
Because you refused to be my lover,
since I am constantly kind to you.
I wanted you to understand how I felt, too.
Grammatically the first two lines of the translation are kind of strange, since they're in the same sentence but both begin with a preposition. I also feel like they miss some parts of what Mai is saying. For example on line 2 Mai is not just saying she's kind, but uses し続けなければならない, indicating that her issue is that she must continue being kind (after being turned down). Also on line 3 she talks about 私の辛さ, or specifically her pain, not her general feelings like in the translation. I feel like the crux of Mai's argument here is that it would be painful to be BFFs with someone who rejected you, and I'm not sure the current translation captures that. Would something like this work better?
You've rejected me,
but I must continue to be unfailingly kind to you.
I wanted you to understand how painful that is for me.
I'm not a native speaker or anything, so feel free to ignore/correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just expressing my interpretation of those lines.
恋人などになれないと断られた相手に
いつまでも優しくし続けなければならない
私の辛さも君にわかってほしかったので
They are translated like this:
Because you refused to be my lover,
since I am constantly kind to you.
I wanted you to understand how I felt, too.
Grammatically the first two lines of the translation are kind of strange, since they're in the same sentence but both begin with a preposition. I also feel like they miss some parts of what Mai is saying. For example on line 2 Mai is not just saying she's kind, but uses し続けなければならない, indicating that her issue is that she must continue being kind (after being turned down). Also on line 3 she talks about 私の辛さ, or specifically her pain, not her general feelings like in the translation. I feel like the crux of Mai's argument here is that it would be painful to be BFFs with someone who rejected you, and I'm not sure the current translation captures that. Would something like this work better?
You've rejected me,
but I must continue to be unfailingly kind to you.
I wanted you to understand how painful that is for me.
I'm not a native speaker or anything, so feel free to ignore/correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just expressing my interpretation of those lines.
