We're inevitably reaching the bit where it turns out the nasty person is nasty because she's gone through bad stuff and she's taking it out on people and so really maybe she's somehow not so bad. Personally, I have sympathy for people who go through bad stuff, but I have no sympathy or respect for them deciding to do unto innocent victims what they hated when it was done to them. If people who have been through pain lash out a bit when you poke them, that's workable--they've been through shit, they're not in total control, they react funny. But premeditated trying to ruin innocent people's lives is not "lashing out"--nobody gets a free pass for that, I don't care what your fucking backstory is.