Tsuihou Suru Gawa no Monogatari - Vol. 3 Ch. 23 - Athena's Dream

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Fucking finally. o,o I like the whole 'showing the teamwork and character growth', but did it really need that many chapters?
 
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I mean... i like when they show all about team work and stuff... but when you know that all is just a setup for the Mary sue of the story (Daru sue?), It only gets tiresome... not only that, now we know Daru was the guy that saved them before.

I would like to see how the author reacts when people trash talk Daru, i have the feeling it will take it a bit too personal.

Now to wait for the real reason for me to keep with this master class in how not to write a story... the comments!
 
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Daru sue?
Marty Stu is apparently the term for a male Mary Sue.

Kinda agree about it being annoying knowing we're just building up to the overpowered rescue. Although it would be fun if he also proves to be no more capable against a demon and they have to take fleeing with their charred lives as the best they could do.
 
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Marty Stu is apparently the term for a male Mary Sue.
yes it is... but is not that well known as the female counterpart... the Daru sue was just a play on words

It would be impressive if they make Daru unable to hold his own against the demon... i guess the author now has at least two choices, either they make Daru unable to fight and defend (because he can´t loose) and then Est will help him with one of those... or Est will arrive when Daru already has defeated the demon and just watches or heals the ones that are wounded and is really awkward
 
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The only problem that makes this manga suck is the misunderstanding that FL didnt even know about. Till the end FL had no clue about what happen at chapter 1. If the FL knew, daru didnt have chance to get closer to her. And the author made daru unintetionally stole the FL from the MC. Well that why the rating is so bad.
 
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Wow, i din't expect him coming back at the last second... :ROFLMAO:
 
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I didn't realise how long this has been going on

They've been in this dungeon for 8 of the 23 chapters so far. And the only reason MC isn't here is because he urgently needed to go talk to a grave
 
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I have a lot of things of which i wanna say about this and everything that has happened so far. But I'm afraid that I'll just spew out cusses which will not make any sense. So for now . . . . . .
 
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The only problem that makes this manga suck is the misunderstanding that FL didnt even know about. Till the end FL had no clue about what happen at chapter 1. If the FL knew, daru didnt have chance to get closer to her. And the author made daru unintetionally stole the FL from the MC. Well that why the rating is so bad.

Daru was just a waste of skin drunkard before Athena recruited him. So it was Athena, the FL, who got close to him first. Without her approaching him, none of the group would have likely ever talked to him. It's not like he would appeared out of nowhere to steal her away.

The rating is so bad because it's exceedingly difficult if not impossible to make this sort of setting work so that the readers would accept the characters well enough. The very setting dictated the majority of the group had to be nasty people who ruthlessly kicked out an old, hard-working, vital member of their team. Because that's the stereotypic setting of many a fantasy manga, and exactly what this story is trying to reflect from the opposite direction. So, the setting purposefully makes the readers dislike the main characters. It would take a whole lot of excellent writing to make up for it. This story is hardly doing that. Perhaps if we had had ten chapters of the team working "normally" with Est included, before the expulsion event, to give a positive image and personality to everyone, things might be different. Hard to say.
 
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still 10 chapters left... ax come sooner...

such a shame author didn't know how to develop this story...
 
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Daru was just a waste of skin drunkard before Athena recruited him. So it was Athena, the FL, who got close to him first. Without her approaching him, none of the group would have likely ever talked to him. It's not like he would appeared out of nowhere to steal her away.

The rating is so bad because it's exceedingly difficult if not impossible to make this sort of setting work so that the readers would accept the characters well enough. The very setting dictated the majority of the group had to be nasty people who ruthlessly kicked out an old, hard-working, vital member of their team. Because that's the stereotypic setting of many a fantasy manga, and exactly what this story is trying to reflect from the opposite direction. So, the setting purposefully makes the readers dislike the main characters. It would take a whole lot of excellent writing to make up for it. This story is hardly doing that. Perhaps if we had had ten chapters of the team working "normally" with Est included, before the expulsion event, to give a positive image and personality to everyone, things might be different. Hard to say.
Problem with the writing is that author tries to gaslight the reader none stop. Yes, the premise is suppose to be from the view point of the hypocritical and selfish party (and they are) but author tries to paint them as good people in every corner while going as far as trying to paint the exiled guy as someone in the wrong. It has full of contradictions and there isn't a speck of self awareness on the horizon.

That's why it is so disliked not because people who are suppose to be bad, are actually bad.
 
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the premise is suppose to be from the view point of the hypocritical and selfish party (and they are) but author tries to paint them as good people in every corner
Why does the author just embrace that instead, i mean look at Overlord.

I think one of the reasons why this fails so hard is because the author wants a main character, this story i see it as trying to be a deconstruction of the trope... but doing that is far too difficult and so easy to mess up, it would have been better instead as a slice of life with the main arc being that the relationship is broken because of what they did and how they interact in a place where they have to look at each other every other day

... Or make it a thriller about an old adventurer that after loosing his friends he breaks down until he finds a girl that looks like his old girlfriend/spouse/wife/etc... so he makes it so that he is introduced to the party and using his experience he finally kicks the one man stopping him from reviving the old days, just to have him survive the cave and become powerful enough to be dangerous, so now he is desperately trying to create as much a gap between them as possible, but slowly the newest member of the party realizes that something is wrong and tries to uncover what that is while avoiding both the suspicion of the rest of the party and the one that got kicked since she see him as possibly vengeful, but in reality he is also trying to find clues of the wrong doings.

Sorry for the many and long posts... i´m sick and i have nothing else to do
 
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Since we're already talking about the status of this manga, I wanna give my two cents as well.


My problem with this stupid story is how it creates bad misunderstandings, and doesn't even give a good enough resolution to any of them. Like the whole misunderstanding with the banished guy seeing Daru and Athena in a compromising scene, Daru doesn't even tell banished guy the whole truth just that it wasn't what he thought of, no further explanations. Also, Daru doesn't even tell Athena about it, making her speculate more on why he treats them like shit.

Another thing is how the author keeps on telling us, the readers, that Daru doesn't have any feelings for Athena but keeps on pilling on more moments that convinces us otherwise. Like this chapter for example, why give more backstory on between Daru and Athena? It's not convincing us that those two will not end up with each other.
 

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