Until I Become Me - Ch. 68

[Lulumelone]

:CAUGHT:

 

[AccForManga]

Rumi really did outgrow them all so quickly.

 

[Ryoga21]

Thanks for the chapter

 

[Kanade0021]

thanks for the translation!

 

[spiffinn]

Thanks for the update!

 

[WangthePhoenix]

kino. thanks for translating~ ❤️

 

[bappity]

she knows what you are

 

[MTScotty]

What I'm talking about is specifically moping about how she was mean to girls six years ago -- and she's still not over that. That's absurd.

Does she regret it? Ok. Then she regrets it and maybe apologizes or maybe doesn't. But if she's regretted it and hasn't done it since then it should be a resolved issue. Instead, we get six GD years of her moping about it, and unable to fully enjoy or live her life happily because of it.

And this is in the context of her having been very energetic as a boy. If that energy is her innate, unchanged nature, then she should have recovered it long ago, and just become an energetic girl. (Which would make this a totally different manga.)

And she's still waffling over "am I a boy, or a girl". This is despite her adapting quite well to being a girl and seemingly being fine with it. Yet the author still has her moping over this as well.

Seems to me that the fundamental issue is that the whole premise of the manga is "Ore" to "Watashi". So the manga is over when she finally commits to "watashi". So the author is milking it for as long as possible. (Just like how romance based stories milk the romance struggles endlessly to avoid terminating the manga.)


It's humor. Yes, JP manga and anime do this a lot, and it's something that manga/anime fans have to deal with. But my annoyance just bubbled over here. Especially for this grandma character, who has no reason to hide her eyes as far as I can see. (Squintiness indicates hiding the "windows to the soul" which may be for a good reason or a bad reason (e.g. they might be a psycho.) Though in her case it may just be that asian eyes are squintier than western eyes, and her eyes are squintty even for asian eyes.

I kind of get what you are saying, but they are not moping, but is someone who has been undergoing trauma for the last six years.

if this was a normal situation between kids, then yes I would agree with you, but it is not. When Akira turned into a girl, it caused so many life changing for them including beside the obvious-

1. Their parents getting divorced due to the father not being able to handle the gender change

2.Their mother getting depression and almost having a mental breakdown because she felt she lost her son due to the gender change

3. getting assaulted by their male classmates because they were "curious" and since he used to be a boy, they thought they would get away with it as well as getting abandoned by the female classmates due to "not being a real girl"

4. having to move to basically reset their entire life due to the gender change

all of this will negatively change someone who was 7-8 years old at the start. this is not counting having to deal with the physical and mental changes a normal girl would endure. that's why Akira feels like this is all karma and a punishment. Just the image of seeing period blood (understandably) freaked them out. Also, the chapter where they first saw a porn video and it caused ptsd cause the actress looked like her and they was in samethe position as when they were assaulted

this extends into middle school. even when she made friends with Rumi and Aoi, many things, though on a lesser scale, were life changing

1. the dating debacle with Akira, Sunohara, and Emi. even though girl politics is over exaggerated and stupid, Akira, by turning down Sunohara, unknowingly burned bridges with those friends (they've known Sunohara since her elementary school), and Akira is very sensitive when it comes to losing people they consider friends cause she lost all their previous friends back when they were a boy. after she turned down Sunohara, she asked herself crying if was a actual girl, would this have gone differently?

2. almost going to a new private school for people that have their disease. Again, they are sensitive when it comes to people and they want to live normally as well.

3. lying to Rumi and Aoi about their real gender caused friction between the group especially Rumi. Keep in mind, Akira feels like she doesn't deserve their kindness towards her because of the controversy she has been at the center of.

4. realizing their grandmother who was their emotional anchor was getting old after she was put in the hospital

As for the "am I boy or girl" thing, you have to understand that since the beginning, people were speaking for them without their consent on what they should be in terms of gender.

1.you had Rumi, who didn't know about the disease, saw a quiet girl with no confidence and she took her under her wing and gave her advice on how to be more girly to gain more confidence. it was only when she found out that Rumi felt terrible and thought she was a burden for speaking for them (which Akira disagreed)

2. you had Nurse Okobe who would compliment Akira whenever they wear something girly calling them cute, subtly encouraging it.

3. you had their mom who until really recently feel like she lost her son, so she decided for them that they should look and act like a boy. she asked them if she wanted to cut her hair, she forced them to wear a boyish jacket to cover her girly swimsuit which caused a fight

it was only Aoi that didn't care and that's because of her tomboyish style and interests. all she wanted were friends that she didn't have in elementary school.

 

[eviljackspicer]

Akira: Is this a balloon?
Me: Oh you sweet summer child

 

[Diveshkandoi154]

This girl failed at googling 'girls naked' y'all really think she is going to know what a condom is ?

 

[GambierBay]

I hope Akira can eventually overcome her guilt.

 

[Andigo]

I will still never understand the bloodhound like noses Japan seems to have, if manga is even a quarter correct.

I think it's only mild exaggeration. Sense of smell is underrated and Japan brings up mindfulness a lot in life. Outdoors, no heavy sweat or perfume, a foot apart, no hand rubbed that shoulder? I doubt it. Change any of those and someone barely a minute later who closely memorized their crush's scent might be able to sniff out a difference at the shoulder. That's a rare kind of person, I'm impressed Rumi tried at all.

Mindfully smelling trains the sense an unfair amount. Unconscious scent data is noisy and too detailed. Conscious attention refines signal to noise filters for more accuracy and variety. People can get halfway to canine levels for close relationships, survival outdoors, or for me a useless ulta-sensitivity to trace amounts of a kind of rot. The many medical factors aside, people can generally improve a lot. The sense didn't atrophy from cavemen, but it's stuck in a low power mode with no handbook.

Japan is especially heavy on lifelong mindfulness, and repeats historical and modern reminders to take a moment (and sniff things). That makes a virtuous circle of actual mindfulness of scent and the meme of it. Wherever that leaves the average person, that cultural background promotes some people having more attentive smelling, thus memorizing favorites. And I assume being slightly weird smelling their crush or close friends or family like a police hound since it's definitely not a purely Japanese act.

Sorry, read your sentence like a challenge. Blew off some stress.

 

[AntQueen]

This girl failed at googling 'girls naked' y'all really think she is going to know what a condom is ?

Tbf, a nuance I saw discussed in that chapter's thread is that what she googled in jp was more like 'young girls naked'(looking for girls her own age) which would cause cp sites and search protections to pop up. Makes her stumbling across virus pop up stuff more understandable.

 

[nhansieu1]

Will there be someone getting the disease when they are an adult, where their identity is already set.

 

[zokoi19]

thanks for the chapter!

I had plenty of thoughts that I wanted to comment but "You smell of another woman" just short-circuited my brain and deleted them all. Now my head is filled with yuri, pls send help (or fanfic/fanart of Rumi x Akira is fine too)

 

[Monstrengo]

Will there be someone getting the disease when they are an adult, where their identity is already set.

In the last chapter, Shouji Akinori mentioned a person in his/her twenties. However, Akinori states that that person does not want to make any contact. Presumably, that person is not having a good time.

 

[rotationplus]

thanks for the chapter!

I had plenty of thoughts that I wanted to comment but "You smell of another woman" just short-circuited my brain and deleted them all. Now my head is filled with yuri, pls send help (or fanfic/fanart of Rumi x Akira is fine too)

👭🏻

 

[nhansieu1]

In the last chapter, Shouji Akinori mentioned a person in his/her twenties. However, Akinori states that that person does not want to make any contact. Presumably, that person is not having a good time.

We do not know whether they turned when they were in adulthood, or they just grew up with it tho.

 

[Yuuki_kun1931]

I kind of get what you are saying, but they are not moping, but is someone who has been undergoing trauma for the last six years.

if this was a normal situation between kids, then yes I would agree with you, but it is not. When Akira turned into a girl, it caused so many life changing for them including beside the obvious-

1. Their parents getting divorced due to the father not being able to handle the gender change

2.Their mother getting depression and almost having a mental breakdown because she felt she lost her son due to the gender change

3. getting assaulted by their male classmates because they were "curious" and since he used to be a boy, they thought they would get away with it as well as getting abandoned by the female classmates due to "not being a real girl"

4. having to move to basically reset their entire life due to the gender change

all of this will negatively change someone who was 7-8 years old at the start. this is not counting having to deal with the physical and mental changes a normal girl would endure. that's why Akira feels like this is all karma and a punishment. Just the image of seeing period blood (understandably) freaked them out. Also, the chapter where they first saw a porn video and it caused ptsd cause the actress looked like her and they was in samethe position as when they were assaulted

this extends into middle school. even when she made friends with Rumi and Aoi, many things, though on a lesser scale, were life changing

1. the dating debacle with Akira, Sunohara, and Emi. even though girl politics is over exaggerated and stupid, Akira, by turning down Sunohara, unknowingly burned bridges with those friends (they've known Sunohara since her elementary school), and Akira is very sensitive when it comes to losing people they consider friends cause she lost all their previous friends back when they were a boy. after she turned down Sunohara, she asked herself crying if was a actual girl, would this have gone differently?

2. almost going to a new private school for people that have their disease. Again, they are sensitive when it comes to people and they want to live normally as well.

3. lying to Rumi and Aoi about their real gender caused friction between the group especially Rumi. Keep in mind, Akira feels like she doesn't deserve their kindness towards her because of the controversy she has been at the center of.

4. realizing their grandmother who was their emotional anchor was getting old after she was put in the hospital

As for the "am I boy or girl" thing, you have to understand that since the beginning, people were speaking for them without their consent on what they should be in terms of gender.

1.you had Rumi, who didn't know about the disease, saw a quiet girl with no confidence and she took her under her wing and gave her advice on how to be more girly to gain more confidence. it was only when she found out that Rumi felt terrible and thought she was a burden for speaking for them (which Akira disagreed)

2. you had Nurse Okobe who would compliment Akira whenever they wear something girly calling them cute, subtly encouraging it.

3. you had their mom who until really recently feel like she lost her son, so she decided for them that they should look and act like a boy. she asked them if she wanted to cut her hair, she forced them to wear a boyish jacket to cover her girly swimsuit which caused a fight

it was only Aoi that didn't care and that's because of her tomboyish style and interests. all she wanted were friends that she didn't have in elementary school.

Well said, 👏👏
I'm not really good with English, cause i'm not a natives. That's why i can't really explain/ express how i think or feel after seeing the previous comment. So i'm really glad someone have the same understanding/ feeling as i did for this manga, so thank you so much.
Sp: hope my English doesn't sound too confusing or make u grossed out

 

[MTScotty]

Well said, 👏👏
I'm not really good with English, cause i'm not a natives. That's why i can't really explain/ express how i think or feel after seeing the previous comment. So i'm really glad someone have the same understanding/ feeling as i did for this manga, so thank you so much.
Sp: hope my English doesn't sound too confusing or make u grossed out

Thank you for the kind words. I understand what you are saying completely. Plus, i am very empathetic with people on the internet who are ESL, so you don't have to worry about it.