Ushimitsu Gao - Vol. 2 Ch. 10

[Speederzdk]

I'm speaking from experience too lol. And yes, you're right that that's how things should go. But offering a differing opinion, especially when your opinion was "it was pretentious and bad" absolutely can cause dead air, or worse. I wouldn't say she had "the opportunity" to be open when she felt hounded to respond a particular way in order to not cause friction. There's a reason she felt compelled to make up some "film thesis bullshit", and it has everything to do with him dumping several paragraphs of analysis on her before asking her opinion.

I completely agree that you shouldn't be walking on eggshells around your partner. But it happens! They aren't a good match, but she's doing her best to not cause additional friction, because she wanted to make it work. He was doing his best too, but like many men, he's overcompensating for his insecurities around communication by dumping words on her.

Lemme break down how I think it ought to go in a good relationship, how it goes with me and my boyfriend:
"What'd you think about the movie?"
"Eh."
"Oh yeah? I thought it was decent. What do you wanna get for dinner?"

You can feel out your partner's readiness to discuss things. You don't get to unilaterally dictate the level of substance of every conversation. Save it for Letterboxd lol.

I don’t really understand why you believe him analysing a movie a bit more indepth as some sort of overcompensation tool. He might just be an analytical person by nature. That doesn’t mean he wants her to be the exact same or even close at all. Her believing she needs to drop something on the same level as what he did isn’t a fault of his, it’s a fault of hers. The fact that she decides to lie instead of just saying her real opinion, simply because he said a lot of words, does imply she struggles with communicating even if what she did came from a place of caring. Her walking on eggshells doesn’t automatically become his fault. It’s even worse when it turns out they hold the same overall opinion of the movie. But because she can’t read his mind and has trouble being honest, they won’t find out they actually think alike here.

Regardless, I see a lot of people blaming the husband for not “trying to connect”, but where exactly have we seen her do any of this? The closest we’ve seen is her own interpretation of what “talking” to him is, which as shown here, might have been filtered completely into not even being her true opinions anymore. We don’t actually know what she has done or said. It’s not one-sided at all because that implies she has been doing something. There’s no sides in the first place. And that’s only if you don’t view the husbands want of hearing her true opinions as “not trying to connect”.

Like you said yourself, the whole overall situation is bad and they clearly aren’t a fit (even though they might have been if they didn’t have their issues, as shown by them having the same movie opinion). If she can’t be honest and he can’t be emotionally available in a way she wants, they’re just not meant to be. But unilaterally blaming the husband when we’ve seen nothing good from the wife either is crazy to me. Keep in mind I’m not defending the husband here. He’s really not a good relationship partner, but she also really isn’t. Though if I had to put them on a scale, he would be worser of the two without the cheating and the better with it.

 

[TheBlackGamer]

I don’t really understand why you believe him analysing a movie a bit more indepth as some sort of overcompensation tool. He might just be an analytical person by nature. That doesn’t mean he wants her to be the exact same or even close at all. Her believing she needs to drop something on the same level as what he did isn’t a fault of his, it’s a fault of her. The fact that she decides to lie instead of just saying her real opinion, simply because he said a lot of words, does imply she struggles with communicating even if what she did came from a place of caring. Her walking on eggshells doesn’t automatically become his fault.

Regardless, I see a lot of people blaming the husband for not “trying to connect”, but where exactly have we seen her do any of this? The closest we’ve seen is her own interpretation of what “talking” to him is, which as shown here, might have been filtered completely into not even being her true opinions anymore. We don’t actually know what she has done or said. It’s not one-sided at all because that implies she has been doing something. There’s no sides in the first place.

Honestly reading these responses blaming the husband. I think at this point it's people not understanding how men communicate or think. They expect the husband to think like a chick and speak covertly and understand cues when guys in general don't think like that or speak like that unless they're a player who understands woman or a feminized dude. Guys tend to speak directly which a woman can more often than not misinterpret to mean something else.

This video is this manga in a nutshell.

The wife needs to stop thinking like a chick and be direct with him. That would solve her issues. Meet his sincerity with her own. I've seen what a healthy marriage looks like and a wife speaking directly with her man is one of those aspects.

Husband there's problems he has to fix but a good start would be showing more affection. And he clearly loves her as this chapter shows.

 

[keatsta]

Honestly reading these responses blaming the husband. I think at this point it's people not understanding how men communicate or think. They expect the husband to think like a chick and speak covertly and understand cues when guys in general don't think like that or speak like that unless they're a player who understands woman or a feminized dude. Guys tend to speak directly which a woman can more often than not misinterpret to mean something else.

I think you're mixing up men and people with autism.

 

[coffee_turtle]

The wife needs to stop thinking like a chick and be direct with him.

I understand your elaboration on this statement but also wth is this phrasing bro??? Tf is "thinking like a chick" even supposed to be?? All of the women in my life (including myself) have different thought processes and ways of interpreting others so this just confuses me. Just say she should try not to overthink and be more straight forward and go..

 

[3ds1234]

I think you're mixing up men and people with autism.

Hm no I think the poster means men. If you see any dude with his friends. They're very direct. Men censor themselves around woman because of the culture today where a guy being remotely direct is seen as misogyny or their words will be interpreted to mean something else.

I understand your elaboration on this statement but also wth is this phrasing bro??? Tf is "thinking like a chick" even supposed to be?? All of the women in my life (including myself) have different thought processes and ways of interpreting others so this just confuses me. Just say she should try not to overthink and be more straight forward and go..

Kinda like how you're responding proves that poster's point. It's not what he said it's how he said it you have an issue with. He's being pretty direct in his assertion that men and women communicate differently so him using language like "think like a chick" bothers you despite the fact he basically is saying the differences in men and women are gonna cause problems in relationships if both parties don't understand the differences between each other.

 

[ysil69]

Dump your whore wife, go for the ac tech.