Utsukushii Koto

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Mar 11, 2023
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I found it good, it's a rollercoaster of emotions 😤 🤩
 
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Mar 23, 2020
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At first I had a positive evaluation of the story because of the manga and where it cuts off, although with some misgivings I hadn’t fully identified yet (I later realized it leaned too close to trans panic tropes for me to be comfortable with the work). I went to find out where the story went after the cut off, so after reading the novel, which colored my impression in more detail, I came back here to say I don’t recommend it even for separate reasons from the aforementioned. I had been somewhat sympathetic to Hirosue having to adjust his understanding of what his future would look like (no marriage, no kids) but he just goes on to be a massive asshole? The manga stops in a place that makes you feel somewhat hopeful for their relationship, but the extent to which Hirosue hems and haws and doubles back on his word and strings Matsuoka along honestly made me feel murderous. H’s a thoroughly unimpressive, mediocre, only occasionally kind (the frequency sharply declines), self-pitying waste of space. He’s also wholly unconcerned with matsuoka’s feelings but only about how M’s behavior makes HIM feel, he feels entitled to being loved by him, ignores obvious white lies so he can believe he’s in the right and a good person, violates boundaries multiple times, “dates” him again after the scene where the manga ends for 6 months and then dumps him and moves back home immediately because he got offended M tried to help him find a job post layoff, keeps finding every fucking way possible to be the worst person in the world oh my god. And this is even after that drunk SA scene (because let’s be honest here, that felt like SA even though the manga sped past it) kept getting hand waved off as oh he was drunk and didn’t remember—esp in the novel where it was literally so graphic? “I don’t have an excuse” but the narrative bends over backwards to try and diminish it so it’s not an obstacle. Ok.

So on top of the fact that it didn’t handle gender with any particular insight, the love interest is actually a terrible person and i wish he would just die. I feel like the MC just got shunted into “the tragic trans” trope (yes, I know he’s cis but it still applies here) and I didn’t stick around to see if there was a “happy ending” bc if they ended up together it would be horrible and if they didn’t it was suffering for nothing. I’m never reading this shit again.
 
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