she is experiencing burnout
2023 had "lots of shit" happen in her personal life which she is still trying to heal from, she calls it the worst year of her life
her self-worth has tanked, she feels unworthy of her place in VShojo because she isn't doing things that the other members are doing, and hasn't done the things she wanted for herself upon joining
she feels guilty for having not finished her subathon, which was interrupted by her long-term COVID/bronchitis combo
she has recently started seeing a therapist who specializes in neurodivergency and is learning that she has spent her life "in denial" of her autism, trying to be normal when she isn't
she has no estimation for when she will be back to regular activity