This translation was extremely hard to understand (if you can call it understandable at all). Please ask someone to proofread it after you finish.
Also, it seems like the original webtoon is Korean, from the information that Mangadex has...? I'm pretty sure you're using a (likely) official Chinese translation as the raw (as the SFX look really clean), but personally I'd prefer reading something translated directly from the original. Though I trust official translators, the risk of losing something from the original work in the translation process when doing a second-hand translation is pretty high imo.