of course i may be wrong and who knows, the author might genuinely think like this but i think people are getting the wrong idea by her saying she doesn't have depression because she doesn't want to kill herself.. imposter syndrome is incredibly common regarding levels of feeling like you can say you're mentally ill. "i can't have depression, my problems arent THAT bad" "people are suffering worse than me, that's what depression is, I'm just overreacting and sad." feeling like you're not 'worthy' of saying you have a disorder.
alternatively, it's denial. not wanting to say you have a legitimate disorder/illness and hoping it's just a passing thing. if either of those or something similar is indeed where the author is going w it, then i think it's actually well written.
From experience dealing with familiars, I'd say it's denial. She is not comparing herself to anyone or anything, she is just shrugging it off as not being afflicted by such conditions, despite the clear signs. There is a lot of false information and misconceptions about mental illness such as depression, for example: "It has to have a
justification for it". And that's not true. It may have a cause, but it's not always because of bullying, trauma or because something bad happened, even more so, it can be a result of multiple things that happened over time. Genetics, the environment, disruption in the hormones that regulate the body, side effect of meds used to treat
other illnesses, pregnancy (even if considered something happy and consensual, it puts a strain in the mother's body and it undergoes a lot of changes during that time), the loss of a loved one, being separated from family due to work/studying abroad... That's just to mention a few. Other common misconception is that it happens to those living in poverty or complete misery. And it's not true: People can have plenty of savings, live the best life, able to get a hold of anything they want and yet get depressed. Mostly because of the lifestyle, imbalanced diet or overestimation of material goods. Either way, there is something unique about depression that makes it hard to treat compared to physical injuries and even other mental illnesses: It may warp your senses, your perception of yourself and your ability to act rational. If you get injured, you would quickly put a band-aid over the injury, clean it or do something that helps it get better and heal over time. But when you're depressed, sometimes you refuse to acknowledge it. Even worse, you can raise barriers and distance yourself from friends, family and any kind of support net that could be your strength when dealing with the illness, which can be very debilitative and requires consistency and the right tools to deal with. If you deny it, then how can you walk the steps that follow (going to the doctor, getting prescribed meds, changing your routine to take the meds at the right time, see it again to make the necessary adjustments if you're not responding well, do regular check-ups, have sessions with a specialist to work around what might be weighing you down). It's a never ending cycle if nothing breaks it, and unlike physical injuries, your body alone won't make it go away most of the time.