Yuusha Ikkou ni Senzokui - Vol. 2 Ch. 6.1 - The Owner's Gift (Part 1)

[MangaDex]

 

[bruhjustletmeread]

Did you guys suddenly forget how English works?

 

[Hicleric]

We gonna get another beriberi "epidemic"?

 

[LyndoCraft]

Did you guys suddenly forget how English works?

Hey, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring to a specific line or part of the chapter?

 

[LyndoCraft]

We gonna get another beriberi "epidemic"?

Spoiler: This is a spoiler for the next chapter.

I don't think an epidemic would drive her to the point of breaking the doctor's neck.

 

[GipoScribantino]

It would be interesting if the rice illness is caused by demons not being able to digest it or some enzyme being toxic specifically for them, like how you can't feed chocolate to your dog, but knowing isekai authors it'll be something stupid and everyone will eat rice happy together as humans and demons make peace.

Hey, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring to a specific line or part of the chapter?

About 60% of the chapter would improve with a few more proofreading passes. There are incorrect pronouns and sometimes it's unclear what the person speaking is trying to say.

 

[PhoenixDen]

Spoiler: This is a spoiler for the next chapter.

I don't think an epidemic would drive her to the point of breaking the doctor's neck.

Wait, so she's genuinely an ass? And here I thought she was just misunderstood for using blunt language.

 

[LyndoCraft]

About 60% of the chapter would improve with a few more proofreading passes. There are incorrect pronouns and sometimes it's unclear what the person speaking is trying to say.

That's a problem with the manga itself, not with me. I'm also trying to make the dialogue sound logical, since a lot of the time the wording is symbolic.

 

[GipoScribantino]

That's a problem with the manga itself, not with me.

Ok, since the original was called in question and I can be obnoxious and pedantic, let's look at it.
Consider page 5, whose second panel contains a completely nonsensical dialogue. I'm not going to go page by page for brevity. I used the whole page for context, instead of just the second panel.
(You should be able to enlarge the image by clicking/tapping on it.)


When asked "is the black haired guy the saviour?", why would someone ever reply "I'm right!"? Even if you had to make sense of it because it's symbolic or whatever, since the person who answered is the black haired person in question, it'd be more logical to answer "It was me!" or, as I did, "That's right!".
The second bubble is connected to the first, which means the black haired guy is the one speaking that bubble. So, a question follows: who is "he"? And did "he" really directed the demon ("you") to deal with the plants?
The answer is that "he" and "you" are wrong. He's talking about himself teaching the other people how to handle the poison.

That panel is something that could've been caught immediately with a second pass of proofreading once the text was laid out on the page. I know Japanese lends itself perfectly well to be ambiguous, but many errors in this chapter can be fixed by looking at the drawings.

 

[GreenDude1]

Wait, so she's genuinely an ass? And here I thought she was just misunderstood for using blunt language.

So it looks like I was right about the demons just straight up being evil. I knew the author wouldn't be anywhere near good enough to write a story where neither side was evil and neither side was good.

 

[LyndoCraft]

Ok, since the original was called in question and I can be obnoxious and pedantic, let's look at it.
Consider page 5, whose second panel contains a completely nonsensical dialogue. I'm not going to go page by page for brevity. I used the whole page for context, instead of just the second panel.
(You should be able to enlarge the image by clicking/tapping on it.)
View attachment 62398

When asked "is the black haired guy the saviour?", why would someone ever reply "I'm right!"? Even if you had to make sense of it because it's symbolic or whatever, since the person who answered is the black haired person in question, it'd be more logical to answer "It was me!" or, as I did, "That's right!".
The second bubble is connected to the first, which means the black haired guy is the one speaking that bubble. So, a question follows: who is "he"? And did "he" really directed the demon ("you") to deal with the plants?
The answer is that "he" and "you" are wrong. He's talking about himself teaching the other people how to handle the poison.

That panel is something that could've been caught immediately with a second pass of proofreading once the text was laid out on the page. I know Japanese lends itself perfectly well to be ambiguous, but many errors in this chapter can be fixed by looking at the drawings.

I see your point, but I think you're treating the ambiguity in the original as if there were only one possible interpretation. I agree that "That's right!" works better than "I'm right!" in that panel, and I can see why you interpreted the second bubble that way. However, the original Japanese is ambiguous enough that the intended subject and context aren't immediately clear from the text alone.


That's exactly why I don't always translate literally. I try to reconstruct the meaning from the dialogue, the artwork, and the surrounding context. In this case, I agree that the panel could have been handled better, but I wouldn't say the issue is simply a matter of "bad proofreading" or that the original has only one obvious reading.

Also, saying that something is "nonsensical" after choosing one interpretation doesn't necessarily mean that interpretation was the only possible one.

 

[GipoScribantino]

the intended subject and context aren't immediately clear from the text alone.

That's why you also check the drawings while translating. And when you cross-reference both, that panel in particular is 100% unambiguous and any error is 100% bad proofreading.
Is that the only case? Maybe, maybe not. I have no way to know without reading the original and checking your work, but I'm not your proofreader and I will not do it.
Both me and the other user just wanted to tell you that some parts of the chapter are unreadable for one reason or another, and that re-reading before releasing the chapter does wonders. "The language is ambiguous" can go only so far when pronouns are thrown around randomly in a scene that would otherwise be perfectly clear.

 

[kenkagejack]

Is this "epidemic" the same nonsense where isekais treat rice as animal feed?

Spoiler: I hope it isn't

diabetes

I'll give the author the benefit of the doubt, that this epidemic is to the crop itself.

Spoiler: and the solution

probably caused by conventional farming instead of paddy fields

 

[Gnauga]

Most of the scan was fine, tbh. There's some clunky language, but nothing was particularly distracting other than the glaring subject mix-up on p5. This was not an ambiguous page to the original Japanese readers. And even without the original text, the real meaning was obvious from visual context even with the botched subjects, so I don't see how a reasonable person could read over the page as a whole and see that as a plausible accurate translation.

Of course, scanlation is typically a volunteer-enthusiast activity, so mistakes are only understandable. This particular one is, charitably, a simple proofreading miss -- but could also be a result of leaning on MTL/LLMs for translation without human comprehension. Doubling down on it instead of fixing it or ignoring it like most teams implies the worst.

 

[bruhjustletmeread]

Hey, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring to a specific line or part of the chapter?

Paige 5 doctor's lines make no sense.
Paige 6 blonde guy's pronoun choice.
Paige 16 old man's pronoun choice.

 

[HYBRID_BEING]

Paige 16 old man's pronoun choice.

"You regain" should be "i regain", right? And there is a "was" missing before "worried". Also, typesetter seems to have a habit of splitting words across lines (without hyphen).
@LyndoCraft

 

[Gnauga]

"You regain" should be "i regain", right? And there is a "was" missing before "worried". Also, typesetter seems to have a habit of splitting words across lines (without hyphen).
@LyndoCraft

I don't know how it compares to the raws, but as an English sentence it reads fine as a usage of "Generic You". Gerald is making an explanation/advice-like statement, so that actually works well for a "here's an old soldier's trick" kind of tone.

 

[HYBRID_BEING]

I don't know how it compares to the raws, but as an English sentence it reads fine as a usage of "Generic You". Gerald is making an explanation/advice-like statement, so that actually works well for a "here's an old soldier's trick" kind of tone.

Yeah, i guess it's fine as it is, after all. Other pronounces on the page 16 seem to be fine. I guess "you forgot how English works" was kinda harsh, although i don't get why they still claim that dialog on page 5 is ambiguous if they did consider the context.

 

[LyndoCraft]

@GipoScribantino @Gnauga @HYBRID_BEING @bruhjustletmeread
Hey everyone! 👋

First of all, thank you for all the feedback on the previous release. You definitely made me work overtime. 😂

I went back through the chapter, reviewed all the reported issues, fixed everything I could find, and uploaded a revised version.

I also added an extra proofreading pass this time, so hopefully your red pens won't have to work quite as hard. 😅

I also left a little surprise for you at the beginning of the chapter. 😊 It's a small thank-you gift to show how much I appreciated your feedback. I hope you like it!

If you have a few minutes, I'd really appreciate it if you could give the updated version another read and let me know what you think.

Thanks again for helping us improve. Hopefully this time you'll have to search a little harder to find mistakes. 😉❤️

 

[GipoScribantino]

@LyndoCraft
The new version is like day and night, positively
I could be extra pedantic but it reads much better, and while there are some details that raised my eyebrow, they could be in the original too and I don't want to bother checking.

Always keep in mind that we can wait for a release. Sure there will always be the spoiled kid asking when the new chapter will be out, but one more day to re-read after typesetting is not going to kill anyone. Take your time to make something you can be proud of, don't feel pressure to release something, rushing only leads to burnout.