This translations adds more feeling to it, it's quite nice @Mhmmdalfaridzi I think you made a typo in page 23 with "I don't why" unless it's some sort of slang that I'm not aware of, still, pretty clean work
Not sure if this is a second-hard translation from Malay, but nice quality enough over randomly dialogue from first gr.
Notice point
i.e. P.4
テメーラ = 鬼獣
So P.4-P5. テメーラ、全員ブッ倒す!! = Kijuu, I shall defeat all of your kind!!
And some few places, however, currently of your work is fine enough. :no1: