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Fed-Kun's army
Joined
Sep 18, 2018
Messages
71
Holy shit, you're just showing off with those incredible double pages!

I tried to upload the chapter on r/manga as a link post, let's see if it can get some traction before being deleted.
 
Active member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
298
Great art, interesting story. Although, the dialogues surely can be shortened.
 
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
8
Man no words tbh like how in the world a man could think of this idea! In this chapter you done a great job like expanding the Story, The Outter World, the different clans, the characters and much more! Like when I was reading it I didn't feel bored at all and I was thinking that is this something kind of blessing? That I am getting 39 pages of it!!!!

And yeah can't wait for the next chapter.
Chapter 9 Basically we are in a mean cliffhanger!

So yeah this is it thank you so much for the chapter and I hope you guys are having a fantastic day and
Samurai Out.
 
Group Leader
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
54
@Yass99 wow!

@maronic02 Thanks! It would be good If this new chapter 1 stays on there as a link post for a bit, but I expect it to get removed and I want to post text posts in the future, because I fear that Dragon Claw might get banned completly or something like that. But I will probably wait a few days until I post my text post.

@REDS I agree, now that I'm looking over it again, it is a bit much at some parts. I have shortened it on page 3 and page 12 because those two felt like the worst offenders. Is there any page that you would remove some unneedet text from? I already drew 8 chapters, so it felt like giving some info/text was good, but I overlooked that this is the new FRIST chapter/first introduction to the series for some people.

@SamuraiASM I'm also very excited to get back to current events! Thanks!
 
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
52
I just discovered your work a few days ago and I really love it and the art is amazing! Keep up the great work man! Also, I love to see what happens next to Asato and that nameless spear guy
 
Double-page supporter
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
389
Pretty great 1st chapter to establish lore and the world with the different clans/citys trying to survive against beast. Least we get a kinda clear picture about whats happening.

The basic armors of khinkoku and draigu (assume thats chapter 1s city) look distinguishable and i guess there will be more to come at some point.

A world map or an overview of the area down the road would be sweet as it does give the world shape and help pinpoint events. They are kinda hard to properly implement in a fantasy setting i would assume. Just a suggestion to think about at some point. Just thought about it, because the 2 wall citys seem key to protect the continent.
 

Mna

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Messages
59
thanks for the chapter! loved the character designs, especially the head priest. it's nice to see the world outside of where our MCs are. That gluttony monster sounds like there were or are gonna be 6 others also in the 7 deadly sins theme? that's gonna be cool if they show up. Also the character work was great!
 
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
5
Quite a few spelling errors, but I'm glad to get some serious backstory on this! That hero of legend Old Darakh looks like a fuckin badass, he seems to have some kinda wing though? Or maybe that's Just his cape... hard to say considering he also has that dragon claw... hey wait a second...

Lmao uh, anyway I'll be honest I don't really like it when stories do that whole elemental thing but then don't commit to having all of the old elements in there. AtLA was pretty good about it, but idk if insect and iron should be up there with wind and lightning. idk, personal gripe, I suppose they could Just refer to locations and not other types of soul arts, although the young Darakh did seem to use them to crush that collar a little...

Whatever, a great prologue that really sets the tone! I love it!
 
Fed-Kun's army
Joined
Nov 21, 2018
Messages
73
I am impressed how much emotion you can show on the (digital) paper.
And i love the style.
 
Active member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
298
@jia-art i don't really have the experience to correct you but i think it's better to apply the 'show, don't tell' principle in the early chapter. It's not like readers are dumb, let your art guide them. Personally i think the 2nd page narration can be shortened. And The debate between those 2 people has too many words on it, young darakh have this angry expression but can still speak a lot of words in 1 panel to explain stuff and tbh i skimmed a lot in this part.
 
Group Leader
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
54
@EritoProxy I'm happy to hear that!

@EndMyExistence I'm also very excited to get back to current events.

@Zero13 Very happy to see you notice the little details like the armor designs. About the world map, did you miss the one on page 3 or do you mean a map of the planet/continents?

@Hydra_Tyrant I worked hard on the art! I'm happy you enjoyed it! : )

@Mna Maybe maybe, the only hint I'm going to give is that it said "The fourth beast of chaos, Gluttony" :^)

@Thetoast If you find spelling errors, always feel free to tell me! I'm actually a bit sad not a lot of people noticed the hints towards some legendary characters like the one with Daryukh you mentioned. It's going to be very exciting to tell his story later.

The map shows the biggest clans. There are more of them, but they weren't worth to put on this old map at the time. We're going to get a lot more information on that later. But for now, it's just a little teaser. Also, the name of the clan doesn't directly say what their soul arts are. The insect clan for example mostly uses sound soul arts.

@Nuzak @Skrub1618 Thanks for reading! : )

@REDS I understand the "show don't tell rule and I used it. I didn't explain the soul arts, I didn't explain how their weapons/cannons work, I didn't explain anything about the corruption of the beast of chaos. It's just characters naturally talking to each other.

My mistake was, I might have showed a bit to much at once and they talked to much and a lot of it was unnessesary. I reuploaded a version with the dialogue shortened, I would be interested to see what you say about it, if you have the time you can just skip over it again and tell me how you feel about it.
 
Active member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
298
@jia-art sorry i didn't realize that ch 1-8 was uploaded like months ago 😅😅😅 gonna read it now. And where is this new version you're talking about?
 
Group Leader
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
54
@REDS It got replaced. Chapter 0 is now the new version. I changed the most things on page 3, 12, 13, 14 and some little things here and there. I was trying to make it more digestible
 
Active member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
298
@jia-art you mean it's different from the first time you uploaded it? I don't really remember the first upload but this new one surely have less word count, but i still think the debate still have some unnecessary dialogue. And great job on ch 1-8 btw.
 
Group Leader
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
54
@REDS Thanks! Yes it's different from the first upload. And I'm interested to hear what you would cut out from chapter 0.
 

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