man,,,, I am feeling all kinds of ways rn. shuli was innocent and she always got treated like dirt and USED. her dead husband bought her then keeled over and left her clueless and to fight alone, the kids treated her like shit when she was just trying her best, no one tried to understand where she came from and put themselves in her shoes (her family sold her to some rando noble... in any other situation you'd suspect him to be a pedophile looking for a child bride. she was just a kid in a bad situation just like the other kids except she was put there on PURPOSE which is so much more horrible), the captain went and told the first motherfucker he saw about her leaving early (and he was a snake for the church), and worst of all, of course, is everything about how the church treated her. they don't just aim to discriminate and use her, they aimed to destroy her and in the most brutal way possible, all to fulfill some sick condescending paternalistic idea of "I know better than all of you and will make you all good Christians at any cost" on the cardinal's part and pure greed and callous self interest on the part of all the others in the highest parts of the church. makes me sick. the cardinal is the worst of all, imo. he makes me feel so sick. also is it just me but the way he seemed to imagine shuli and think that they'd be together "one day in the arms of god, we will meet again" like that just screams that he has a thing for her? 🤢