How ladies training swordmanship is not progressive?
Clear learning how to manage a fief or a buisness is important but is not exclusive.
In contrary a conctractual marriage, albeit useful, is the complete opposite of progressive.
And considering that most nobles have their wealth from people taxes or buisnesses, then it may also be wise to not flood yourself in gold and jewels.
So I can't dismiss Lilian as wrong. Her positions were extremly reasonable for me. Now she is wrong for apparently refusing to learn on how to manage a territory, and being hypocrite for living a privileged life of a noble without the duty that the position should require.