ABYSMAL - Ch. 1

[Threacon]

Chiaki got a huge character development

 

[Poinn]

Gonna read this because the art reminds me of aoibahn and because I'm genuinely confused on what's going on and need answers

 

[AcidVlad]

Soulful

Saw the cover and thought it was related to this video

Also soulful

 

[SonicCrocodile]

really looking forward to more chapters has some good potential

 

[IcyBa]

Wow

 

[pokytos]

Omg I didn't know there was a translation already 😭IM SO HAPPYYYY AHHHH

 

[Amphguy]

The art is really really good, but having some announcer character come out of nowhere to spit exposition at the reader made me lose interest really quickly. It sucks because I feel like the world building up to that page was written in very well.

 

[TopAgarDealer]

The art is really really good, but having some announcer character come out of nowhere to spit exposition at the reader made me lose interest really quickly. It sucks because I feel like the world building up to that page was written in very well.

The announcer didn't reveal much besides the 4 rival factions. Like 3 pages? Out of how many?

 

[Amphguy]

The announcer didn't reveal much besides the 4 rival factions. Like 3 pages? Out of how many?

One page of poorly introduced exposition dumping is bad enough. its actually 7 pages of exposition, slightly spaced out by action, but it's incredibly jarring. The chapter could be 1 million pages long, exposition dumping still sucks if it isn't done with a lot of care.

Plus, the announcer literally introduced the entire world that they live in and explained the different types of humanoids that live in it as well as what the different factions are after. That's a lot of stuff to go over in such a careless fashion.

I'm just saying that if you can immediately recognize "the author wants to explain to the audience how their world works right now with almost no set-up", then it's not a good exposition dump.

 

[TopAgarDealer]

One page of poorly introduced exposition dumping is bad enough. its actually 7 pages of exposition, slightly spaced out by action, but it's incredibly jarring. The chapter could be 1 million pages long, exposition dumping still sucks if it isn't done with a lot of care.

Plus, the announcer literally introduced the entire world that they live in and explained the different types of humanoids that live in it as well as what the different factions are after. That's a lot of stuff to go over in such a careless fashion.

I'm just saying that if you can immediately recognize "the author wants to explain to the audience how their world works right now with almost no set-up", then it's not a good exposition dump.

I'd hardly call it dumping, since that human announcer incites the fight between vampires and count over the formula. She and the demon are using them as pieces in a game for the formula. It wasn't careless, it was pretty clever.

 

[Amphguy]

I'd hardly call it dumping, since that human announcer incites the fight between vampires and count over the formula. She and the demon are using them as pieces in a game for the formula. It wasn't careless, it was pretty clever.

It's really not. The core of why I think it's bad writing is that simple. Who is the announcer talking to? With exposition, there almost always has to be someone who's out of the loop that needs someone else to explain what's going on to them. Obviously the main character would serve that purpose. But that's not what happens here. Some other character comes out of nowhere to explain to everyone already living in that world how that world works and the factions that someone already living in that world would already be aware of. Why? Because there needed to be exposition so the reader isn't lost. It's done in a way that breaks immersion and doesn't logically make sense.

Imagine going to a basketball game and all of a sudden the announcers start explaining the basics of how basketball is played and how points are scored. That wouldn't make sense. That's my issue with it.